The WSL's only partner, Samsung, makes a trick phone! Fun or no?
It is impossible not to know that Samsung and the World Surf League are best of friends. The Korean conglomerate known for clothes dryers, forklifts, baby monitors and cellular telephones is the sole sponsor of professional surfing’s championship tour (aside from Jeep Leaderboard). Should we watch a commercial? But of course!
Wonderful! Touching! Poetic even! Charlie Medina communicating with his young stepson via Samsung’s powerful Galaxy 7. Sending lonely but proud Gabi text messages like HIT THE LIP WITH MORE POWER (except in Portuguese) or VAI MEDINA!
But do you know what Gabi should text back?
DROP THE PHONE AND RUN, CHUCK! YOUR GALAXY IS GOING TO EXPLODE YOUR FACE! LIKE SOME JAMES BOND STUNT! ONLY WORSE! FAR WORSE! YOU’LL BE UNABLE TO SMILE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!
RUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNN!
VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIII!
And it’s true! Have you read the news? Let’s now! The newly respected USA Today writes:
Power down your Samsung Galaxy Note 7 phone now.
Whether you’ve hung onto the original Note 7 or exchanged it for one of the replacement devices, Samsung and federal regulators are urging consumers to turn the device off because some of the phones — including replacement units — are overheating when charged.
“No one should have to be concerned their phone will endanger them, their family or their property,” U.S. Consumer Products Safety Commission Chairman Elliot Kaye said in a statement emailed to USA TODAY. “Due to the ongoing safety concerns associated with Galaxy Note 7 phones, it is the right move for Samsung to suspend the sale and exchange of all Galaxy Note 7s.”
The South Korean electronics giant, meanwhile, issued a statement late Monday, in which it asked “all carrier and retail partners globally to stop sales and exchanges of the Galaxy Note7 while the investigation is taking place.”
And do you think WSL CEO Paul Speaker has powered his Samsung Galaxy 7 down? Has it maybe already singed his cheek? Did Graham Stapelberg come running with an ice pack and caressing words?
“There there Mr. CEO, sir. It’s ok that our only sponsor is going up in smoke. We’ll get another for sure! 1000000000000000890760000 watch professional surfing, remember?”
I think maybe yes! And I sure do wish BeachGrit had a Graham Stapelberg. What a sweetheart!
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Gabriel M’thulhu. The Great Old One later portrayed as Davey Jones in the Pirates of the Caribbean series and was gracious enough to loan out a few chin tentacles to Khole Andino .
An unspeakable abomination… especially to fair skinned Westerners longing for a return to the golden ages of surfing.
Bring back The Bede!
Strider is on the blow again can we get some coverage grit? Asing beating medina. You know that little thing.
Who even uses one of those things? It’s almost as bad as Rory using a PC still.
If anyone wants to give away their Samsung Galaxy I’ll take it. My face was blown up ages ago.
I think Medina doesn’t give a shit cuz Samsung still puts a lot of money on his bank account, he’s the champ.
(Samsung) flashy, flimsy and melting…like some of those brazzos when waves go > 4 feet
Other than Slater, which Americans (not Hawaiians) currently hold up when it’s big? Maybe Coffin, but Chloe? Nat? Kanoa? I’d name more but that’s actually it for the mainland on the tour.
Do we have to wait for Gabby to blow up for the Blood Feud!!! to start between Samsung and Charlie?
Samsung’s market valuation dropped $18.8 billion, or 8 percent, on Tuesday, Oct. 11, and it’s expected to slide even further.
This is on par with VW’s emissions blunder, maybe even worse. Wouldn’t be surprised if they’re no longer a sponsor next year.
I’m sure they have a multi-year deal so they will still be the sponsor. However…the terms could be different. Samsung won’t want to give any signs of liquidity issues.
Funny how a brazilian was able to be the best paid surfer in the world. Medina’s making 2x the money the second one (JJF) is.
Huh?
But he is going to come in 2nd at the end of the year 100%. It doesn’t matter how well he surfs the rest of the year, he will not win the world title. The WSL needs JF more than it needs Medina, wayyyyy more. How you like them apples?
How much you reckon his face replacement surgery will cost though? Do you think that’ll even our two favorite surfers up?
Well, John John looks like an elf with the nose of a retired MMA fighter.
And all Medina has to do is drop his Galaxy 7, get another Samsung phone and keep the sticker$ in his boards.
I see your point. But have you heard that the phones they are giving as replacement are blowing up too? Our dear prince Gabi caught with no way to communicate!
Just put Mom John’s face on the trophy and all is good.
No problem. Medina is so rich he can pay John John to text or post on Instagram for him. Hawaian stunt and no risk for our champ..
surprised you’re not more concerned about lil gabi potentially losing half of his beautifully shaven face james.
how do you assume a kid as ugly as JJF came from a specimen like MomJohn?
If you were a pro surfer Jimbo, what phone company would you like to be sponsored by?
Une que soit française, pote!!
its not just Gabs in trouble, Kelly has been warning about it alongside chemtrails but no one was listening until now…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
As a person who works in the aviation business I love the chemtrail consipracy. It completely fucks people up when you tell them that the “chemical” is just plain old water.
Could I call you tomorrow about?
Chemtrails? Dane? Or Portland? I’ll message you on Facebook.
yes.. just plain ol’ “water”….
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
wake up sheeple
I don’t believe the Illuminati bless this water. They do, however, have a hell of a racket going at Denver International airport.
I thought chem was added by the conspiracists. Isn’t it contrails? The tip of the wing condenses the air. It’s condensation. Am I being condescending.
Conscientious, conspiratorial and maybe even…constipated.
Gabby would be able to put out the flames with his tears. He also has the added advantage of not having any body hair to act as kindling as he’s Gillette smooth.