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Beach Grit

Question: Who is the ugliest world champ?

Chas Smith

by Chas Smith

John John is knocking at the door of greatness! A perfect moment to pause and ask...

So I’m looking at John John Florence here, your Jeep Leaderboard Leader, and wondering who is the ugliest surf champ in history? Like ever? And I’m not saying it IS John John but I’m also not saying it IS NOT (because he’s not a world champion yet but also, when the sun is shining a particular way he is………..ok).


We’ve had Kelly forever and he is a certified male model. Andy Irons was as handsome as Adonis. Mick Fanning is Adolf Hitler’s dream man and Joel Parkinson is too (if he dyed his remaining hairs blonde).

Gabi Medina, no matter what your racist heart says, is traditionally handsome and Adriano de Souza, while pug-like, is… ummmmm… serviceable? The Little Plumber? Looks aren’t his high water mark but also not his total undoing.

C.J. Hobgood is an all-American.

Sunny Garcia may be most handsome ever (except for Kelly Slater).

Derek Ho is basically carved from granite.

Tom Carroll is two feel tall but good looking, as evidenced by his brother Nick.

Shaun Tomson even puts Kelly to shame.

Barton Lynch? Is he the last ugly world champ (besides kind of Adriano)?

Mark Richards? Yeah. He was a surf star but ugly.

But the ugliest? Let’s wait for this season to end!