The Brazilian Storm turned out to be a brief sprinkle followed by a cloudless Hawaiian sky. But a new low pressure system is developing just off the horizon. This one is not spinning in South America though but Europe instead! A European Storm! Or, as they say in European, a “Sturmabteilung!” | Photo: WSL/Cestari

WSL: Here comes the Sturmabteilung!

By Chas Smith

8 years ago

Do you think John John is going to win multiple titles? Think again!

Do you remember the Brazilian Storm? But do you really? Recall that the World Surf League’s championship trophy was supposed to be handed from one Brazilian hand to another to another for maybe decades? Or even the rest of all time? Yeah?

Of course you don’t!

The Brazilian Storm turned out to be a brief sprinkle followed by a cloudless Hawaiian sky.

But a new low pressure system is developing just off the horizon. This one is not spinning in South America though but Europe instead!

A European Storm! Or, as they say in European, a “Sturmabteilung!”

The World Surf League writes on its website:

One of the biggest surprises of the 2016 Qualifying Series has been the rise of Italian Leonardo Fioravanti. The 18-year old went on a charm offensive while ripping his way to the top of the QS rankings and torching several of the world’s best as a CT wildcard.

Though he’s slipped to No. 5 on the QS, Fioravanti has already locked a spot on the 2017 Samsung Galaxy World Championship Tour, and he won’t be the only fresh European face on Tour next year, because one of the hidden headlines of 2016 is there’s serious depth coming from that bench.

The quiet rise of Joan Duru is another big surprise. After a solid performance at the Hawaiian Pro the Frenchman has climbed to No. 2 on the QS, locking his spot on next year’s Tour.

Lacomare has a much tougher road to haul. But the Frenchman’s powerful backhand approach, with its sweet, fading bottom turn, is well suited to Sunset’s reef-churning walls. His heavy-footed snaps throw buckets of spray, too, which helps impress judges sitting on a scaffold tower a quarter-mile away.

Morais is no stranger to big results in Hawaii. In 2013, the man from Portugal won the Vans Triple Crown of Surfing “Rookie of the Year” award, mainly on the back of a 4th place finish at the World Cup of Surfing at Sunset Beach. For the last week, it would have been easy to argue that outside of World Champ John John Florence, he’s been the form surfer of the event.

That’s an Italian, two Frenchmen and a Portuguese. A new power axis! Or, as they say in European, a “Großdeutsches Reich!”

Do you think John John is scared? Maybe? He probably shouldn’t worry his blonde head but… maybe?

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Meet: World’s most anti-depressive man!

By Chas Smith

8 years ago

Are you grouchy? Step inside!

If you visit our little corner semi-regularly, you’ll know that we try to be anti-depressive. Oh sometimes we fail and fail miserably but the goal is almost always for smiles. Our world is serious enough and surfing is so not! So let’s dance, let’s play, let’s smile and let’s have us some fun!

But even when all of our joy cylinders are pumping at max speed our anti-depressive doesn’t even come close to surf legend Corky Carroll’s. And are you aware of him? Do you know? Let us turn to the good doctor Matt Warshaw, who writes in his Encyclopedia of Surfing:

Flamboyant goofyfooter from Surfside, California; winner of the United States Surfing Championships in 1966, 1967, and 1969, and the sport’s chirruping master of media in the ’60s, ’70s, and ’80s. “He’s been cheered and booed,” surf journalist Jim Kempton wrote in 1998, “reviled, honored, laughed at, accused and credited with everything from defiling the name of surfing to inventing the career of ‘pro surfer.'”

Today, Mr. Carroll writes a column for the Orange County Register and if you’re ever feeling down just take a quick read! Like, today he sends the entire time discussing who he is so thankful for since it is, in fact, Thanksgiving week in America.

Simple, yes, but also so wonderful and so… so… ebullient!

After marching through his list, including kids, wife, doctors, neighbors etc. he ends on this note.:

I might not be the freakishly handsome road warrior athlete god that I once was (shut up, it’s my story) but the good news is that I can still paddle out and surf every day at my tender old age, and THAT is something I never forget to be thankful for. It might not be pretty, but it sure is fun.

Ain’t it ever!

Are you going to be Thankful this Thanksgiving or will you be a grumpy gus?

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I woke up super congested this morning. Gnarly sinus headache to boot. Fucking sucks, I really wanted to go dive. Try and kill some fish. But you can't do that shit when your head tubes are jam-packed with mucus. Or you can, but you'll only do it once. Sinus squeezes hurt like a son of a bitch.

Parker: “My tubes are jammed with mucous!”

By Rory Parker

8 years ago

Fucking sucks, I really wanted to go dive. Try and kill some fish.

I woke up super congested this morning. Gnarly sinus headache to boot. Fucking sucks, I really wanted to go dive. Try and kill some fish. But you can’t do that shit when your head tubes are jam-packed with mucus. Or you can, but you’ll only do it once. Sinus squeezes hurt like a son of a bitch.

Maybe I’ll go skate. Been a while since I beat my fat ass against the asphalt. It’s raining right now, but that’s typical. Should dry up in a little while. Usually does.

Until then I’m gonna sit on my ass and watch skate videos. You seen this one? Eight minute long doubles routine. So good, so fun, so creative.

I know it’s way easier for skaters to get clips than it is for surfers. They can hit the same ledge or rail or transition over and over and over. No paddling, no waiting. No relying on swell or wind or tide.

Still, though, I wish someone in the surf world would sdump the lifestyle shots, put an end to the cookie cutter visuals. Do something different.

Maybe that’s too much to hope for. Maybe it’s just too difficult. Maybe surfers don’t really care. I don’t know. But a man can dream.

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"Surfing is in its racing stage," says Albee Layer. "Look at a lot of action sports. Moto, mountain biking, skiing, snow mobiles, they all start as racing being where all the money and time is spent and freestyle being a side show. But eventually, freestyle is all people really wanted to watch and people started figuring out how to make competitions based around progression and not sticking to the same formula of the last three decades."

Albee Layer Lands First Backside 540!

By Jake M Tellkamp

8 years ago

And celebrates with shake weight and vodka cruiser!

Albee Layer spins one-and-a-half on the pineapple express. Pirouettes angrily into that sweet Maui breeze! Then takes to Instagram to tease the world what glory must lay on his laptop screen. First, a celebration with a shake weight and vodka cruiser then followed up with a video clip of him bunny-hopping his way to the beach.

Don’t you just love the comedic prince of Peahi ?

https://www.instagram.com/p/BM-h6-lgTXJ/?taken-by=johnjohn_slater&hl=en

https://www.instagram.com/p/BM-21QdgONj/?taken-by=johnjohn_slater&hl=en

The maneuver’s completion comes shortly after an early round loss at the Jaws event. Similar in fashion to Slater’s frontside 540 which he landed after a disappointing loss at the Ripcurl Pro Portugal last year. Which to me speaks poetry!

Airs are the moves of those demanding attention. What’s getting kids off that beach in Rio? What sets Noa Deane apart from the rest of the Tweed ? How does Filipe support his family?Airs are moves that command an audience. They breathe expression. They set souls free!

Albee’s been trying to stomp the backside five for years now. In Attractive Distractions, he lands a 540 alleyoop, the first time anyone had spun to that degree.

Which brings me to my concluding thought. What matters more to you as a fan, a surfer being the first to do something, video parts or a contest victory?

Ok now from the man himself. Outspoken and always outstanding. Albee Fuckin Layer everybody!

BeachGrit: You’ve been racing John John to be the first to land the backside 540. How’s that feel to be the only guy in surfing who’s beaten John in 2016?

Albee Layer: John hasn’t really been trying that much. He’s, like, changed to a full comp guy now practicing power turns. I wish he was putting his heart and soul into progression like he was a year or two ago. So it didn’t feel like a race everyone seems to ignore these tricks in a way these days as some side show.

Surfing is in its racing stage. Look at a lot of action sports. Moto, mountain biking, skiing, snow-mobiles, they all start as racing being where all the money and time is spent and freestyle being a side show. But eventually, freestyle is all people really wanted to watch and people started figuring out how to make competitions based around progression and not sticking to the same formula of the last three decades.

BeachGrit: It would be sick if it were more like the Bones Brigade in skating. A full regalia dedicated to progression and landing new things. Inventing tricks taking precedence over contest wins.

Albee Layer: Yeah I’ve been saying for a while surfing is in its racing stage. Look at a lot of action sports. Moto, mountain biking, skiing, snow-mobiles, they all start as racing being where all the money and time is spent and freestyle being a side show. But eventually, freestyle is all people really wanted to watch and people started figuring out how to make competitions based around progression and not sticking to the same formula of the last three decades.

BeachGrit: Airs to me, seem to be done best by those who are angry and don’t give a fuck about their well being. Did losing at Jaws piss you off to spin into the wind? What’s the next move your going for?

Albee Layer: Absolutely. The double cork is next.

Note: No video proof until tomorrow! But the build up is gold! Come tomoz to see!

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Hail: Dane Reynolds! Slacker king!

By Chas Smith

8 years ago

John John Florence's antics ain't cool, bro. Ain't cool at all.

And look at John John Florence going and being all good at everything. Oh there he is making the most visually impressive surf film ever. And look, over there, he’s winning the Eddie in biggest/best Waimea ever. Beating men who dedicate themselves only to the giant wave. But wait, now he is winning the entire World Surf League tour, smashing the field so thoroughly in all sizes of wave that he doesn’t even need the last event even though it basically breaks in his living room and he is going to win it too and the Triple Crown and Taylor Swift’s delicate hand.

Such a phenomenon! Such a… millennial!

And don’t those damned overachievers just roil you? Doesn’t their good-at-everything always-try-super-hard deal just rub you the wrong way? Yeah, your cool like me.

We’re Generation X, bro.

It’s all so lame. Everything is so lame. Trying is so lame. Everything is super lame.

At least we’ll always have Dane Reynolds. He, like me, like us, understands the lame. Remember when he quit the World Tour? When he gots lots o money and then quit Quiksilver? When he quit basically surfing all together?

Cool like jazz and this whole thing may read ironic but it’s not. I’m serious. Like every Gen Xer though everything I write or say comes out vaguely ironic. Trying is lame.

Eat beach grit spam!