The way to grow the money and shrink the crowd!
It is Christmas morn in Australia, eve in America, and good cheer trickles into the even crustiest of hearts. Do you feel joy? Merry? Oh but you should! A great gift has just been given to us by The New York Times! A key to surf industry growth that has eluded for years while not crowding lineups! A way for the World Surf League to reach CEO Paul Speaker’s heretofore absurd projections!
I was reading The Times, see, and stumbled on the story Surfing and Sondheim: What’s on Josh Radnor’s Mind. It intrigued me because I was once married to a musical theater actress. Stephen Sondheim is a big name in that world, having written the music to West Side Story, A Little Night Music, Sweeney Todd, etc. etc. and I loathed it all. I despised both his rhythm and his rhyme. If a piece of Sondheim music comes on when I’m shopping, say, or out to eat I’ll start to sweat and my eyes will twitch. I’ll feel murderous. Suicidal.
And I did not want his cursed name near the word “Surfing.”
Josh Radnor? I looked up at his picture and saw that he was this guy from that one show.
Anyhow apparently now he is in an Off Broadway production and blah blah blah and the article was a list of things he was interested in. I skimmed quickly to get to the surfing part which read:
William Finnegan’s “Barbarian Days: A Surfing Life”: Mr. Radnor tends to read many books at once, “which is actually a problem,” and he was still in the middle of this memoir. “It’s a lot about surfing, which I’m kind of weirdly obsessed with without knowing how to do it well at all.” He had to learn a few years ago for the Jill Soloway movie “Afternoon Delight.” Now, he said, “I just love to sit and watch. There’s something so meditative about it.”
And I thought “Here it is! The missing link!”
The industry/WSL should push surfing onto the masses like meditation! Self-help and not something you do but something you sit and watch. Beach mats would fly off the racks as the population runs to the beach looking for meaning! Surf watching shorts too with pocket zips that keep sand and pesky crabs away!
The WSL would have to change the programming a bit. Maybe score heats with Krishna Das music and lose the singlets and also maybe lose the entire commentary team besides Joe Turpel who’s voice is like warm honey dripped into an ear and as empty as the wind but Paul Speaker’s billions would tune in because of surf viewing’s restorative qualities!
Brilliant!
No?
So that’s where all the Shroff’s go.
Merry Xmas to all.
I am meditating to Joe Turpels dulcet tones all day just to get through Xmas with the family!!!
… I read as I’m listening to Krishnadas. You might be on to something. Can something be done to make the beach more comfortable?
Ugh, let’s get rid of all the goddamn sand!
But isn’t it wonderful too? We can ride his waves for him!
Lmao that’s great idk what’s better this line or the one about turpels voice being honey dripped into the ear.