Debut writer thrown to the electronic wolves!
Last Wednesday, I sent Derek a story I wrote about the one time I beat Dane Reynolds in an amateur surf contest. A couple of laughs, maybe some sort of accidental insight into your favourite surfer. A mostly meaningless pre-Christmas treat.
Life’s too serious, right?
I wrote it in one take, didn’t edit it, and knew it ran too long. To my surprise, he liked it. Too my surprise he hardly deleted a word. Too my surprise he said he’d run it live on Friday night to see what the BG readers thought of my work.
Right on!
Let’s just say the comments were less than nice. I had expected as much. BeachGrit commenters are brutal. And many were still reeling from Rory Parker’s sudden departure.
Also, the piece ran over 1,500 words which rattled the short attention span of those looking for their usual bite sized dose of dirt, of gossip and grit.
A brief sample of the forty-six comments.
“This shit makes me want to kill myself!”
“Rory leaves and the comments turn to absolute fuckery, and the articles become even more so. Not so anti-depressive now. Just a bar full of angry drunks with no pennies left screaming at each other with spittle flying everywhere. Me included.”
It may shock those who described my story as “shite” and that my yarn added “zilch” and “nada” to the Grit, that I have been a surf journalist for over ten years. Print media. I’d been able to make some decent coin writing about surfing so I thought I wouldn’t care as to what some keyboard warriors had to say about me and my story. Sure, I’m no Nick Carroll. But I’m having a swing, right?
I was enjoying the comments, laughing even, until I…was…triggered.
BG commenter “Chaz Michael Michaels” wrote, “This is like junior English essays I used to grade about ‘My Best Holiday’. You’re 1k words deep, they haven’t got off the fucking plane yet, and when they eventually do it turns out to be the dullest trip ever. Maybe you could try Granny’s Funeral next?”
A good point? Yeah it was.
Yet it brought back memories of my grandma’s funeral, which was recent enough to compel me lash out in the comments. Bad idea. One of my dear editors saw the comment and was kind enough to tell me this, “A lot of writers have a ‘never read the comments’ policy … it’s a rabbit hole!”
Unless, of course, the comments are coming from someone like Nick Carroll, “I’d write short on pieces like this. Too many words, not enough point.”
I’ll take that on the chin too.
Watch for me on slow news days.
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Ouch, probably should keep your self soothing to yourself. Can I try? I laid down a positive comment, took abuse, and you didn’t mention me as the sole positive feedback you got. See how pathetic that is.
I liked your article Neal! Read the whole thing.
If your article sucks write a better one, not go on the horn an explain why it sucks. Only thing worse than reading something shitty is reading more about it.
i would be shocked to hear that you’ve been a “surf journalist” for over ten years (sic – cf. usage of “more than” vs. “over”) except that i’ve read surf publications while waiting for prescriptions to be filled at CVS pharmacy and can say without hesitation that your writing is par for the course. (notable exceptions, of course, for the surfer’s journal, etc.)
easy. vanilla. formulaic.
But my comment was nice. Sort of. I apportioned blame to ALL (sorry, your piece was far too bro and you cannot blame me for hating the industry brodown). I am sorry for being a bully. You caught me drinking rum. Fucker of a drop. I am willing to hug it out for $
Oh, and if you use my comment cite me! I stand by my anonymous comments. X
“It may shock those who described my story as “shite” and that my yarn added “zilch” and “nada” to the Grit, that I have been a surf journalist for over ten years.”
So, what you’re saying is…. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Must be some kind of surf “Bro Deal” to allow this guy more real estate on BG.
I tried to read Neal’s article but I couldn’t get into it, let alone finish it; but, now I feel like I should read it to make sure my prior opinion is unbiased( that is was boring, pointless blabbery from a spoiled 14yr old girl that is used to people politely listening to her nonsense). And now, even worse, he’s laying down excuses while at the same time saying he’s a seasoned professional; well, the first thing I learned about writing is to “know your audience,” and I’m no damned professional with 10 yrs of “print” experience. Jesus. I don’t even get paid to talk shit in the comments section.
That sure was a long winded way to say thanks to Nick Carroll.
fuck that shite Neal……it was a steaming pile that you dished up and readers responded accordingly.
There’s no gold lollipop for participation…..at least you got in the comments and mixed it up, nothing worse than a comment coward.
so i guess pray for “fast news days” for, like,,, ever….
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
We need to have like a BG haters ball, where we can all just smoke shatter and take cheap shots at the inertia and Medina.
I’ll give ya credit for stepping back up – lesson learnt!!! Here in Oz the “tall poppies” get cut right down!! Seems global thing
If you write about anything but yourself you will probably go ok – under a different name though now!!!
My god. This is a new low for BG, and I would hope you, too (note correct usage of “too”) but I’m really not sure. If you didn’t edit it and knew it was too long then you’re not fucking trying. And if you’ve been making a living from print media for a week, nevermind 10 years, then it’s no wonder it has died on its arse.
Never heard of you.
Welcome to James B Team
Here’s something else to take on the chin… don’t make out like you didn’t try, it’s a white lie and insults the readers intelligence.
We’re here to help you become a better person Neal!
These guys are so shit mate.
Entertaining though… how’s your piece of shit coming along?
As someone who has offered to contribute content to BG I applaud your efforts.
please tell us more stories how much you ripped in the jr men’s comp at the lane in ’04. we are dying to know
This one time, I got 5th in a WQS. I won money, I like money.