Ex-POTUS discovers new thrill-seeking passion
Being Pres ain’t easy. You’ve gotta wake up early, sign hundreds of executive orders every single day, and work tirelessly to appease and unite 300 million people, most of whom hate each other more than they love guns and socialism, respectively.
This means little time for hobbies — besides like 300 rounds of golf but who’s counting?
Since his tenure came to a close, Obama has taken a much-needed vacation to the British Virgin Islands, a small Caribbean archipelago known for it’s cerulean waters and yummy rummy cocktails. But between the Man Tais and family time, Bruddah B has taken up friend Richard Branson’s offer of kitesurfing the equatorial gales. And I’ll be damned if our ex-Pres doesn’t show a little Hawaiian know-how!
With his back straight and knees creased just so, Barack looks on course to become another unwanting Technique Critique recipient in short time. Plus, if he’s got this much ability in his first go, imagine what he’ll be doing with a few years experience under his Beach Grit boardies (Derek, get this man a pair. He rocks ’em short!). I reckon he’ll be whipping into solid swells, perhaps on a foilboard, perhaps in the tube, perhaps getting super duper ripped and nutritional and perhaps eclipsing Laird Hamilton as surfing’s one true leader.
At just fifty-five, B’s got almost half a lifetime ahead of him. And wouldn’t it make sense for him to dedicate the latter stages to surf? It’s a healthy, anti-depressive activity that brings out the best in everyone, proven especially by the Beach Grit commentary section. Hell, maybe Obama’ll even start reading the site. That’d be something!