Without even including Pitbull!
Certain beaches in Australia and Reunion Island, of course, get the most attention when it comes to sharks and surfing. Oh it is not a distinction any location wants to have and the debate around how best to coexist rages. The steam coming from Kelly Slater’s Instagram account is just starting to dissipate. But while certain beaches in Australia and Reunion Island get more attention nowhere is as scary as Florida.
Watch below as two men pull a giant hammerhead onto the sand near Palm Beach. Florida has hammerheads and other kinds of sharks too. New Smyrna, half-ish way between Miami and Jacksonville is still officially the “shark attack capital of the world.”
But Florida has more than just sharks. Alligators roam around munching children, golfers, the homeless and the stray surfer. Cottonmouth snakes slither on the beach and sometimes the water. One bite can kill a grown man. Cottonmouth snakes are scared of snapping turtles, which lurk in puddles and rivermouths. One bite can snap a grown man’s foot right off.
Florida’s governor is a very rich man and doesn’t believe in climate change. He looks like this.
Miami is flooding, due to rising ocean levels (climate change), and bottom floors of new high rises are no longer being constructed as livable space. Kelly Slater is building a Surf Farm and the state’s most popular restaurant is Hooters.
Nice try certain beaches in Australia and Reunion Island but Florida wins.
Your slater like passive aggressiveness isn’t going to work on me, but an A for effort!
Not sure where you get that snail? I love waves, been chasing them my whole life!
Yes sir! Being a born and raised Florida cracker probably explains alot of my comments, now that you know. Having said that there is no where else I’d rather live. We have a melting pot of cultures. Food, fishing, hunting, surfing, etc. It is true we do have many wild critters that will eat you, sting you, bite you, or rot your little west coast peckers off. That is how we like it! Invasive species that are the biggest pests however are; tourists, spring breakers, old fart retirees, Yankee old fart retirees, left coast tourists that talk about how much better they have it, Cubans, Haitians, lion fish, lovebugs, and boa constrictors. Buy you a sixer of Busch beer, turn on some Nascar, put a dip in, and relax!
And you have to pay to do fuckin’ anything at the beach…walk on the pier: pay. Get a rimjob from a Confederate biker chick in the dunny: pay (to enter the dunny)… park at the beach: pay. Put a chair on the beach: pay. I’ll pay my West-side-til-I-die taxes any day to just walk on the goddamn pier or get a butthole licking on a whim and let the municipalities figure out where the collective coin goes.
Floridaman is a unique and very real breed
Ah till yew wut! Awesome documentary…..
Which is why every other segment on COPS is filmed in Florida.
You forgot about all the ugly, old white people! Gross!
What about the poopy dreaded black people? Mmmm I love me some Kodak Black nawhmmm sayinnn. Cash me outside.
Ballsy!
Chas’ tumultuous relationship with the Sunshine State is well recorded http://www.surfer.com/surfi…
I was talking about the dudes swimming with the massive sharks. But Chas does have zee nutz! I would know. How do you think I got my critically acclaimed “I Surf Better Than Dane” story in?