Quiksilver Inc. fools baby writer!

The innocence of youth is a beautiful thing!

Minutes ago our dear Michael Ciaramella wrote a story about how Quiksilver just changed its name to Boardriders and don’t you just love the innocence of youth? The glass half full? The corporate name being the same as the brand name?

I remember when I thought everything I loved was owned by benevolent elderly men (or women) much like Willy Wonka. There he (or she) toiled, building magical products for us to enjoy. There he (or she) put his name on the seal and it was his. And it was mine.

But then I grew and realized this is a world of S-Corps and C-Corps and holding companies and offshoring and onshoring and hedge funds and junk bonds and conglomerates and DBAs and… ummmm… I didn’t major in business but also didn’t need to.

This cruel world slapped the Willy Wonka from my dreams and taught me that everything we see is smoke. Is mirrors.

Boardriders, Inc. is simply the new parent company name of Quiksilver, Roxy and DC. It ain’t sexy and the brand should have never issued a press release that found its way to our starry-eyed little man but… I guess now’s as good a time as any to break the tough news.

Michael… Santa don’t exist and Donald J. Trump is President of the United States of America. It’s a hard hard hard world.

But at least we still have Quiksilver!

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Lord G
Lord G
9 years ago

I actually enjoy being a witness to this painful yet exciting process, or shall we call it birth of a writer? It’s like a crowdfunding of sorts in which a community-trained writer is constantly scrutinized by some internet no-ones. Very 2017, very millennial!

Lance Carson
Lance Carson
9 years ago

why so hard on the kid writer? That article is no different than all the political crap that’s on here…constantly speak like you guys know what’s up, but you don’t know anything.

bitter guy
bitter guy
9 years ago

S-corps can only be owned by individuals, this is OakTreeSilver not the local cold-pressed juice bar

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago

Back in the early 90s’, Sub-Pop records signed a band that got kicked to the kerb when Nirvana hit the big times. The rekkid company fell over themselves in handing over the keys to what became the biggest selling band of that era for veritable peanuts and ended up fairly broke and having no money to support their roster of bands. The kicked to the kerb band wrote a song, which sounded like it was originally recorded around a campfire, contains the immortal lyrics; “If sub-pop made hangliders, they’d fall right to the earth.” Haven’t been able to find the original version, but here’s a country tinged instrumental version that could be BGs theme song?

https://m.youtube.com/watch…

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
9 years ago

it is a ploy to make chas and derek seem, well, somehow better

Paulo De Tarso Duarte
Paulo De Tarso Duarte
9 years ago

Even so,
From here, I would like to give my humble opinion to this company of “wave and the mountain”, that for so many years sponsored our talker and balder multi champion, and of course, his side kick, this traitor who launched a brand new clothing, with that other surfer … that … errr … yes, that … errr … you know … that guy who’s stole our multi champion’s hair… that guy…
Whatever:
Kooksilver;
Silverkook;

Or maybe… Quiksilver, Boardrider Inc, Kook Silver, Silverkook, whatever… just need to adopt Prince’s symbol… and be called..,
“THE COMPANY”…

or maybe… “D Company”… or maybe…

Superworm
Superworm
9 years ago

Does that taste like tomatoceouse?

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
9 years ago

Well, that’s DC- but under the same umbrella!

wincy
wincy
9 years ago

DC umbrellas – the umbrellas of the DC fashion industry

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
9 years ago
Reply to  wincy

“Fashion” may be pushing it a bit.

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
9 years ago

Or a big black crow that all the crows call “little rory” snatch him from his earthly soil. Guzzling superworm to his belly. Later while aloft superworm’s digested remains to be squeezed past “little rory’s”last sphincter muscle. Blasting Micheal’s baby spoon full of LIFE.

Tom
Tom
9 years ago

Voguesilver or maybe Facesilver

Tom
Tom
9 years ago

Chas and Derek let Mikey fail so we could take the piss – yes!!!
Oh so very clever

Superworm
Superworm
9 years ago

Shame on you Derek and Chas.
What are we trying to create here???
https://youtu.be/ypx1Stz8zN0

Superworm
Superworm
9 years ago

I, for one, adore the young Michael!
His coming of age is a beautiful thing to witness, our comments his guiding light. It’s our own remake of the movie Stand By Me, and Kelly Slater is the mean old guy! (No simile NC;) )
His true followers will stand by him, because facts checked or not, he’s one of us.

funky Gibbon
funky Gibbon
9 years ago

CNN of surf journalism.

Anthony Arturo Leone
Anthony Arturo Leone
9 years ago
Reply to  funky Gibbon

Breitbart of surf journalism

Seaman Staines
Seaman Staines
9 years ago

Surf journalism of surf journalism

Dumbth Chronicles
Dumbth Chronicles
9 years ago
Reply to  Seaman Staines

The Zen of Seaman Staines.

Seaman Staines
Seaman Staines
9 years ago

The 100.6 kg, anti-depressant withdrawing, failed businessperson of The Zen of Seaman Staines.

Tired old guy
Tired old guy
9 years ago

A name change or no name change, who spends a dime on the crap they put out? Honestly?

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
9 years ago
Reply to  Tired old guy

Not I..

Gabriel LeFrancois
Gabriel LeFrancois
9 years ago

Lol. You’re very forgiving, Chas. I’d a made his doughy-eyed ass write the retraction, buy beers, order and pick up the pizza. Then eat and drink in front of him till it was done.

NUG
NUG
9 years ago

https://youtu.be/KbbZc2pab9k

I’ll just leave this here.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago
Reply to  NUG

Ha!

Brutus
Brutus
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

We ????? FFS oui!!!!

Michael Ciaramella
Michael Ciaramella
9 years ago

I appreciate your parenthetical nod to International Women’s Day

janeausten
janeausten
9 years ago

When I was about your age I severely under performed at work due to inadequate preparation. In front of a dozen colleagues, my boss stood up, walked to the window, knocked his head repeatedly against the glass and muttered loudly ‘Fuck the boy’s an Idiot, Fuck the boy’s an Idiot”. I was embarrassed and belittled. But my boss was right. In those days the stick was stronger than the carrot. Your thoughts?

Michael Ciaramella
Michael Ciaramella
9 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

I think that Chas and Derek have been well aware of my youthful ignorance since day one and, in a way, they like it. I say that because 1. they’ve told me they want a young (thus almost inherently ignorant) perspective on BG and 2, because they’ve given me the keys to the site, something Rory never had.

This can (and does) lead to embarrassing moments for me but I understand that it’s a learning process. And, apparently, Derek and Chas think the best way for me to learn is to flail in front of the most scrutinizing eyes in the surf world. I’m willing to take those lumps and happy to learn several new things every day.

janeausten
janeausten
9 years ago

Good man, well answered.

longtom
longtom
9 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

since Mike got off the play by play of writing intros for videos and got his teeth into stuff I’m enjoying his work very much more.
I don’t care if he makes mistakes.

Michael Ciaramella
Michael Ciaramella
9 years ago
Reply to  longtom

thank you! but, ugh, video is sort of my job over here. I’ve just been cheating these last couple weeks.

longtom
longtom
9 years ago

mission creep suits your style

Superworm
Superworm
9 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Mikey could be the next Nik Carool- in about 147 years freely sharing his wisdom in the comments section of ZiffGrit

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
9 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

Rory would have push started the heap of shit with a dead battery whilst 3/4 drunk, and he’d be driving great until he dropped his roach down his short leg.
He crashes. Only into a ditch, but she is not worth repairing.
He leaves the scene on his wife’s advice but reports to authorities the following afternoon saying he’d wandered off due to some slight concussion and shock, the cop is nice and understanding.
To his surprise his insurance pays out and he gets a better but much less manly car in return, but he doesn’t give a shit about that. He also gets better mileage.

Brutus
Brutus
9 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

he only crashed to he could get on the Oxys

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
9 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

Typos be damned, full points awarded.

NUG
NUG
9 years ago

The keys? Shit. How many miles do we have left on this jalopy? Can we make it to Baja and back?

Otto
Otto
9 years ago

Reminds me of how young Barnacle Goslings have to leave their cliff-side nests. Turn up the volume for narrative. Enjoy the wonder of the two parent geese, lets name them Chas and Derek, welcoming their kid Michael.

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Resilience = Ability to repeatedly bounce.

Michael Ciaramella
Michael Ciaramella
9 years ago

yo mama’s resilient AF

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago

JP: Why did the chicken cross the road?
MC: I don’t know.
JP: To get to the idiot’s house.

JP: Knock, knock.
MC: Who’s there?
JP: The Chicken.

(Sorry, I have two almost teenage children, so I know how to deal man).

Kook Dahanamoku
Kook Dahanamoku
9 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Man, I thought this video was going to be chicks jumping off a cliff, not birds.

Otto
Otto
9 years ago

proceed to former.xxx

pretty sure the skinny one’s a chick.

Brutus
Brutus
9 years ago

fuck I/m senile so I understand you young grommet , you are actually writing for the old , senile and decrepit!

Tom House
Tom House
9 years ago

Wasn’t it always “Quiksilver Boardriders Club”?

Adam
Adam
9 years ago

Fuck you people are dumb.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
9 years ago
Reply to  Adam

Naive, yes, unworldly, yes, but bright as buttons!

Brutus
Brutus
9 years ago

only when he was on it!


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