Cut: “Pipe is the ultimate coke wave!”

It’s a big steep drop, super fast, you get totally charged...

If you are a semi-regular here you know I am working on a book and oh how it’s killing me! I either forgot how difficult it is to pull the threads of a story together or… something. My head is a wreck all the time and my fingers sore. I’ve probably smashed out near 100,000 words so far and a good 60% of them have ended up on the floor amidst tears and spilled booze. Here’s 141 of them right here from an interview with the great Michael Oblowitz, director of Sea of Darkness and the upcoming Sunny Garcia doc.

If you’re young you do a line of coke paddle out at Pipe, get barreled, paddle back in and do another line. Paddle in and out. Paddle in and out. I think that is why Pipeline became such a hot wave. Because it is so close to the shore. You’ve got the houses, everything right there. Pipeline is the ultimate cocaine wave, ok? It’s a big steep drop, super fast, you get totally charged, you go flying out the back and you’ve got to bust a move up to one of the Pipe houses, run back and get another one. That’s a coke wave. Mavericks is a speed wave. All those guys were all doing methedrine because it’s so far out there and you’re gonna be out there forever. You need a drug that’s more enduring. Cocaine is definitely not enduring.

A good quote and it makes me think… if Pipe is coke and Maverick is speed then what is Bells? What about Main Break?

Could this be goodbye? | Photo: WSL

Slater: “Margies Maybe Out Next Year”

Kelly shows political candor!

Slater lost in heat one of round three in pumping Main Break conditions. He proceeded to paddle to a nearby wave, still donning his red number twelve, to try and wash off the disappointment. Classic Slater move.

An hourish later he returned to the beach and met Barton Lynch for a post-post-post-heat interview. After detailing the myriad of mistakes from his heat (psyching too hard on the surf, looking for massive pits rather than reasonably scoring waves, losing competitive focus), Kelly was passed this query from Barton.

“Tell us about the importance of this event to the World Tour — Margaret River, big waves.”


After an awkward pause kelly went full politician, avoiding the direct question and pandering about how beautiful the region is etc. Finally he dropped this bomb.

“We’ll see what happens with [the Drug Aware Pro]. It may not be on Tour next year, it may be on Tour, I don’t know. Coming here surfing my first heat was kinda said, like aw man, we’ve grown pretty accustomed to this place… We’ll see what happens.”

This comes just days after STAB’s double feature on the topic, one which states that Slater dislikes Main Break, and the other that implies the Drug Aware Pro could be replaced with a wave pool event, both of which would explain Slater’s reluctance to answer.

Of course this is still just conjecture, but I’m conflicted by the news. On one hand I’ve always hated watching Main Break. On the other hand, it’s actually been fucking incredible today. A true pleasure to watch. But long term, losing Margies would probably be for the better.

That said, the idea of a wave pool comp still troubles me. It might be fun to watch, it might not, but either way I don’t know if pool surfing should be part of our elite tour. It seems too fake, gimmicky, whatever. I’m pretty sure none of the old boys look back fondly on the Pennsylvania event. Granted Slater’s pool is a little different.


Log on: Night’s King vs. Mother of Dragons!

Winter is coming (if you live in Australia)!

Are you near a computer? On your phone? Of course you are! You’re here! So leave and go over to the World Surf League because we have the biggest ever matchup coming up in five minutes. It’s the Night’s King v. the Mother Of Dragons!


At the Box!

Don’t miss!

It’s a fantasy smash unlike anything even HBO can offer up!

Or wait… is this where Game of Thrones is going? Is the Mother of Dragon’s going to defeat the Night’s King? I haven’t read the books so forgive me but is this what is going to happen? Am I just super late picking it up?

Is Jack Freestone going to be the GOAT?

Shoulder hopper alert! | Photo: Peter King

Watch: The Wonderful Waves of West Oz!

Alliteration bad, waves great!

Do you know why Tour pros complain about holding the contest at Margaret River Main Break? It is because the Margaret River area is one of the most wave-rich regions in the world, and Main Break is one of their absolute worst spots.

It’s so bad, in fact, that locals Taj Burrow, Jack Robbo, Jacob Wilcox, Jay Davies etc. claim that they don’t even have an advantage out there, because they never surf the joint.

So where do they surf? Allow this video to guide you!

Some waves I think I saw: North Point, Rabbits, Box, …and the last one lost me. But do they not look significantly more fun than the burger-zone comp site?

Another observation: Despite using an iPhone or handycam the majority of the time, Peter King is the ace video man on Tour. The lesson here is that relationships and tenacity will always trump a fifty-thousand dollar camera. Remember that kids!

Anyways The Box is starting soon so bye! (Edit: they decided not to run at The Box despite all the people we just watched getting tubed out there. Is this not a terrible move on the WSL’s part? Even if it wasn’t going to be perfect, running at The Box would at least make people want to watch.)

Wave tank: America’s gone surf crazy!

Welcome to the future!

Every morning, or so it seems, there is an announcement of some new surf-themed resort and/or wave tank being developed in the United States of America. Today’s is two being planned near Palm Springs, California. One in Indio the other in Coachella and how thrilled will Luke Davis be? The world’s second most handsome surfer has made the Coachella Music Festival his second home! But let’s read, very quickly, and then discuss.

Honokea Surf Villages and Resorts, a Hawaii-based company that helped design a recently opened surf park in Austin, Texas, says it has land under contract in Indio for an outdoor recreation facility that would include a “surf lagoon,” skate park, BMX track and acquatic track for stand-up paddleboarding.

That proposal joins one from Matteson Capital, working with Quiksilver Hotels and Resorts, which pitched a surf park and recreation facility for Palm Desert two and a half years ago. Agreements between the company and the city have been renewed once, and Matteson is due to present new plans to the City Council in April, city staff said.

“The development of standalone surf parks and man-made surf destinations, with the focal point being a high-quality surf pool or surfing lake, is not necessarily new, but it is picking up a lot of momentum in the last five years,” said John Luff, founder and president of Surf Park Central, a six-year-old trade publication for the surf park industry.

Luff said two surf parks have opened in the U.S. in the last five years, and he estimated 30 to 50 more are in various stages of development.

He was familiar with both Coachella Valley proposals, and believes several other developers may be eyeing the desert for their own surf parks.

The surf park industry has its own trade pub? 30 to 50 parks in various stages of development? An “acquatic” track for SUP? And really 30 to 50? Thirty to fifty? I mean, think about those numbers for one minute. That is a lot of wave pools. More wave pools than there are waves on the East Coast and Gulf Coast combined.

I suppose I’m just confused by it all. Has America gone totally surf mad? Are there studies being done where citizens of inland towns are begging for waves? Grandmas begging for SUP tracks? If this is all true then we are on the precipice of a massive surf industry boom. 1980s style! And BeachGrit will be there to capitalize bringing you the hottest inland gossip and a brand new chlorine resistant speedo.