Are you near a computer? On your phone? Of
course you are! You’re here! So leave and go over to the World
Surf League because we have the biggest ever matchup
coming up in five minutes. It’s the Night’s King v. the Mother Of
Dragons!
Hurry!
At the Box!
Don’t miss!
It’s a fantasy smash unlike anything even HBO can offer up!
Or wait… is this where Game of Thrones is going? Is the Mother
of Dragon’s going to defeat the Night’s King? I haven’t read the
books so forgive me but is this what is going to happen? Am I just
super late picking it up?
Is Jack Freestone going to be the GOAT?
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Watch: The Wonderful Waves of West Oz!
By Michael Ciaramella
Alliteration bad, waves great!
Do you know why Tour pros complain about
holding the contest at Margaret River Main Break? It is because the
Margaret River area is one of the most wave-rich regions in the
world, and Main Break is one of their absolute worst spots.
It’s so bad, in fact, that locals Taj Burrow, Jack Robbo, Jacob
Wilcox, Jay Davies etc. claim that they don’t even have an
advantage out there, because they never surf the joint.
So where do they surf? Allow this video to guide you!
Some waves I think I saw: North Point, Rabbits, Box, …and the
last one lost me. But do they not look significantly more fun than
the burger-zone comp site?
Another observation: Despite using an iPhone or handycam the
majority of the time, Peter King is the ace video man on
Tour. The lesson here is that relationships and tenacity will
always trump a fifty-thousand dollar camera. Remember that
kids!
Anyways The Box is starting soon so bye! (Edit: they decided not
to run at The Box despite all the people we just watched getting
tubed out there. Is this not a terrible move on the WSL’s part?
Even if it wasn’t going to be perfect, running at The Box would at
least make people want to watch.)
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Wave tank: America’s gone surf crazy!
By Chas Smith
Welcome to the future!
Every morning, or so it seems, there is an
announcement of some new surf-themed resort and/or wave tank being
developed in the United States of America. Today’s is two being
planned near Palm Springs, California. One in Indio the other in
Coachella and how thrilled will Luke Davis be? The world’s second
most handsome surfer has made the Coachella Music Festival his
second home! But let’s read, very quickly, and
then discuss.
Honokea Surf Villages and Resorts, a Hawaii-based company
that helped design a recently opened surf park in Austin, Texas,
says it has land under contract in Indio for an outdoor recreation
facility that would include a “surf lagoon,” skate park, BMX track
and acquatic track for stand-up paddleboarding.
That proposal joins one from Matteson Capital, working with
Quiksilver Hotels and Resorts, which pitched a surf park and
recreation facility for Palm Desert two and a half years ago.
Agreements between the company and the city have been renewed once,
and Matteson is due to present new plans to the City Council in
April, city staff said.
“The development of standalone surf parks and man-made surf
destinations, with the focal point being a high-quality surf pool
or surfing lake, is not necessarily new, but it is picking up a lot
of momentum in the last five years,” said John Luff, founder and
president of Surf Park Central, a six-year-old trade publication
for the surf park industry.
Luff said two surf parks have opened in the U.S. in the last
five years, and he estimated 30 to 50 more are in various stages of
development.
He was familiar with both Coachella Valley proposals, and
believes several other developers may be eyeing the desert for
their own surf parks.
The surf park industry has its own trade pub? 30 to 50 parks in
various stages of development? An “acquatic” track for SUP? And
really 30 to 50? Thirty to fifty? I mean, think about those numbers
for one minute. That is a lot of wave pools. More wave pools than
there are waves on the East Coast and Gulf Coast combined.
I suppose I’m just confused by it all. Has America gone totally
surf mad? Are there studies being done where citizens of inland
towns are begging for waves? Grandmas begging for SUP tracks? If
this is all true then we are on the precipice of a massive surf
industry boom. 1980s style! And BeachGrit will be there to
capitalize bringing you the hottest inland gossip and a brand new
chlorine resistant speedo.
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Watch: The Greatest Burn of All Time!
By Michael Ciaramella
Only in Australia, they say
You’ve heard of Tropical Cyclone Debbie. She
hit northern Queensland, then southern Queensland, rained a lot,
wreaked general havoc.
But what you maybe haven’t heard, or rather seen, is the best
surf clip to come from ol’ Deb. It’s not a grinding barrel or a
massive air but rather a drop-in. A burn. Please watch it right
meow.
And did you see? The Debbie-fueled standing wave? The adept
jet-ski handling? The perfect whip and release of the tow rope? The
stylish approach to the ledge and subsequent hop down the face? The
brutal stiff-arm to his only stand-up competition?
This is, by any measurable standard, the greatest burn of all
time. Kelly on Parko at Kirra was nice, but no. This is it.
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Ugly Watch Co. Makes Beautiful Film!
By Michael Ciaramella
The Crocs of time-telling!
I know what I said. That BeachGrit’s
recent video posts have been blasé garbage yada yada yada, but I
must declare that this one is utterly brilliant!
G-Shock’s Grasshopper in the Snow combines all of my
favorite tropes: beautiful cinematography, a worthy subject,
perplexing narration and unsubtle branding.
Leon Glatzer, a lanky Costa Rican with a penchant for
giganto-spins, was sent somewhere (north, I believe) to film an
advertorial for ugly watch brand G-Shock. Of course they
won’t mind that I’ve called their product aesthetically atrocious,
as G-Shock’s whole shtick is durability. It’s the
laboring/surfing/sky-diving man’s watch. Utility over fashion.
Which makes me wonder… why spend all the money on this fllm? I’m
gonna gander that with travel costs, production dollars, etc., the
price tag on Grasshopper in the Snow trumped… 40k? I don’t
know, thats just eyeballing it.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad they ponied up some legitimate cash
for their ugly watch movie. It makes me partially forgive G-Shock
for all the terrible Joel Centeio ads I had to suffer through over
the years. And no dis to Joel, he’s a proper shred, but
G-Shock’s 2008 marketing schemes were nearly as horrendous as
their product. And Grasshopper is the Rolex of
surfing advertorials!
You’d still have to pay me well north of fifty bucks to
be seen in one of those wrist cages, though.
Now enjoy the film! (Bought to you by G-Shock — the
contraceptive watch co.)