Just in: BeachGrit Has Been Sold!

Say buh-bye to hard surf candy!

Sigh. You guys were right.

Once great surf/fashion site BeachGrit was nothing more than a pyramid scheme. A capitalistic smoke and mirrors. A joke amongst two crusty surf scribes.

How do I know this? Well, today Dez informed me that while he’s appreciative of my time spent on the Grit, as of tomorrow our beloved haven will be under new management, and they want none of this Italian sausage.

In fact, BeachGrit‘s whole scheme is supposedly changing. The new owner, whose name I’m forbidden to share but definitely doesn’t not rhyme with ‘burly’, will be using the domain for a secretive property launch.

While I am upset about losing a job, forfeiting the credibility of the world’s okayest surf site and becoming more generally disillusioned about the world we live in, I guess I understand. Derek needs to make up for dollars lost on a premature STAB sale and Chas has to prove to his wife that despite it being 2017, men can too bring home the bacon! Or at least a small tube of soyrizo.

I don’t think I was supposed to be the one to tell you all this, but what are they gonna do, fire me? I’d recommend screen-shotting the post in case they see and delete. The soulless bastards!

If you’re wondering where to find future hard surf candy, try here.

Cut: “Pipe is the ultimate coke wave!”

It’s a big steep drop, super fast, you get totally charged...

If you are a semi-regular here you know I am working on a book and oh how it’s killing me! I either forgot how difficult it is to pull the threads of a story together or… something. My head is a wreck all the time and my fingers sore. I’ve probably smashed out near 100,000 words so far and a good 60% of them have ended up on the floor amidst tears and spilled booze. Here’s 141 of them right here from an interview with the great Michael Oblowitz, director of Sea of Darkness and the upcoming Sunny Garcia doc.

If you’re young you do a line of coke paddle out at Pipe, get barreled, paddle back in and do another line. Paddle in and out. Paddle in and out. I think that is why Pipeline became such a hot wave. Because it is so close to the shore. You’ve got the houses, everything right there. Pipeline is the ultimate cocaine wave, ok? It’s a big steep drop, super fast, you get totally charged, you go flying out the back and you’ve got to bust a move up to one of the Pipe houses, run back and get another one. That’s a coke wave. Mavericks is a speed wave. All those guys were all doing methedrine because it’s so far out there and you’re gonna be out there forever. You need a drug that’s more enduring. Cocaine is definitely not enduring.

A good quote and it makes me think… if Pipe is coke and Maverick is speed then what is Bells? What about Main Break?

Could this be goodbye? | Photo: WSL

Slater: “Margies Maybe Out Next Year”

Kelly shows political candor!

Slater lost in heat one of round three in pumping Main Break conditions. He proceeded to paddle to a nearby wave, still donning his red number twelve, to try and wash off the disappointment. Classic Slater move.

An hourish later he returned to the beach and met Barton Lynch for a post-post-post-heat interview. After detailing the myriad of mistakes from his heat (psyching too hard on the surf, looking for massive pits rather than reasonably scoring waves, losing competitive focus), Kelly was passed this query from Barton.

“Tell us about the importance of this event to the World Tour — Margaret River, big waves.”


After an awkward pause kelly went full politician, avoiding the direct question and pandering about how beautiful the region is etc. Finally he dropped this bomb.

“We’ll see what happens with [the Drug Aware Pro]. It may not be on Tour next year, it may be on Tour, I don’t know. Coming here surfing my first heat was kinda said, like aw man, we’ve grown pretty accustomed to this place… We’ll see what happens.”

This comes just days after STAB’s double feature on the topic, one which states that Slater dislikes Main Break, and the other that implies the Drug Aware Pro could be replaced with a wave pool event, both of which would explain Slater’s reluctance to answer.

Of course this is still just conjecture, but I’m conflicted by the news. On one hand I’ve always hated watching Main Break. On the other hand, it’s actually been fucking incredible today. A true pleasure to watch. But long term, losing Margies would probably be for the better.

That said, the idea of a wave pool comp still troubles me. It might be fun to watch, it might not, but either way I don’t know if pool surfing should be part of our elite tour. It seems too fake, gimmicky, whatever. I’m pretty sure none of the old boys look back fondly on the Pennsylvania event. Granted Slater’s pool is a little different.


Log on: Night’s King vs. Mother of Dragons!

Winter is coming (if you live in Australia)!

Are you near a computer? On your phone? Of course you are! You’re here! So leave and go over to the World Surf League because we have the biggest ever matchup coming up in five minutes. It’s the Night’s King v. the Mother Of Dragons!


At the Box!

Don’t miss!

It’s a fantasy smash unlike anything even HBO can offer up!

Or wait… is this where Game of Thrones is going? Is the Mother of Dragon’s going to defeat the Night’s King? I haven’t read the books so forgive me but is this what is going to happen? Am I just super late picking it up?

Is Jack Freestone going to be the GOAT?

Shoulder hopper alert! | Photo: Peter King

Watch: The Wonderful Waves of West Oz!

Alliteration bad, waves great!

Do you know why Tour pros complain about holding the contest at Margaret River Main Break? It is because the Margaret River area is one of the most wave-rich regions in the world, and Main Break is one of their absolute worst spots.

It’s so bad, in fact, that locals Taj Burrow, Jack Robbo, Jacob Wilcox, Jay Davies etc. claim that they don’t even have an advantage out there, because they never surf the joint.

So where do they surf? Allow this video to guide you!

Some waves I think I saw: North Point, Rabbits, Box, …and the last one lost me. But do they not look significantly more fun than the burger-zone comp site?

Another observation: Despite using an iPhone or handycam the majority of the time, Peter King is the ace video man on Tour. The lesson here is that relationships and tenacity will always trump a fifty-thousand dollar camera. Remember that kids!

Anyways The Box is starting soon so bye! (Edit: they decided not to run at The Box despite all the people we just watched getting tubed out there. Is this not a terrible move on the WSL’s part? Even if it wasn’t going to be perfect, running at The Box would at least make people want to watch.)