Donald J. Trump is someone who speaks our language!
Oh I know that Barack Obama grew up in Hawaii, liked to bodysurf, etc. That he has been pictured frolicking in the surf many times and that Donald J. Trump believes that exercise actually shortens a human life but just like Bill Clinton was America’s first black president, Donald J. is the country’s first professional surf president and most specifically its first professional surf contest announcing president.
How do I know?
Hyperbole!
Anyone who has watched more than one professional surf event know that hyperbole is the lingua franca. Every contest is the biggest/best/most important. Every heat is the biggest/best/most important. Every wave is the biggest/best/most important.
“He JAMS it off the top and WHOA!”
“He’s in deep, deeper, deepest and COMES OUT WITH THE SPIT!”
“We have never seen anything like this floater here from Adriano de Souza!”
Etc.
Today, Donald J. Trump told Coast Guard cadets, “No politician in history has been treated worse or more unfairly.” And he COMES OUT WITH THE SPIT!
More unfairly than the nice Jewish mayor of Leipzig, Germany in 1933.
More unfairly than the kind Andan Menderes of Turkey in 1960.
More unfairly, and treated worse, than any politician in history!
I know that all sports involve some sort of hyperbole but only professional surfing hyperbolizes Brazilian beachbreak.
We are Trump Country!
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That’s where the sun shines out of.
I grabbed her right in the pussy and it went “smush!” M-O-I-ST!
Rest In Peace Chris Cornell. The voice of a generation. Never given proper due. Ever. He was, with Jerry Cantrell, the best voices out of the PacNW since Hendrix. And Fuck Cobain. He knew where the bread was buttered.
Chris was fucking real… and a bit douchey.
But he was like us.
Real.
Now he isn’t.
Fuck Rock n Roll.
Jerry Cantrell one of the best voices? Really? Disagree with what you wrote about Cobain, but Cornell was fucking awesome, only rock vocalist who held a candle to him was Robert Plant!
I agree that the Seattle sound saved rock and roll when it was in the toilet but Cornell and Vedder had voices that I quickly grew weary of. In general I would like to see vocals further back in the mix than what has been the norm. Music should be more musical and less whiney.
Agree. Less whiny is always good with a side of Justin Beieber.
The only good music is the music I like. Your music sucks. Whiny-pop rules.
More unfairly than Kevin who was overthrown by Julia who was then overthrown by that same Kevin who was then defeated by Tony who was then ousted by Malcolm who’ll lose to Bill who’ll then be ousted by…
Damn it…The one place I don’t wanna read about that crap and now I’m on Trump Grit. Screwed!
This is good news for Democrats and Great news for Republicans. The rest of us are excited to see how fast the pale horse of the apocalypse is.
hashtag: Je suis Donald Trump
I wonder if he uses webbed gloves when he surfs those tiny hands would be a hindrance.
that one, my friend, just closes the Internet for today…
He does. Oh the things I’ve seen and done against my will. We once saw Alana in the water and he didn’t even take me off before he grabbed her by the pussy.
More unfairly than JFK, Bill McKinley, Benazir Bhutto, Archduke Ferdinand and Paul Speaker?
Fingers crossed!
It’s because of all the winning, isn’t it? He did warn us that all this winning would be tiring.
More unfairly than Abraham Lincoln, Julius Caesar and Graham Cassidy?
Et tu brute indeed!