Hi li'l fellas!
Hi li'l fellas!

Fantasy Surfer: The impotent science!

Like standing in a baseball card shop at thirteen!

I remembered this morning that BeachGrit has a Fantasy Surf Club with some two-hundred some participants. The current winner, oceanyeti, has 3357 points. The current loser, chassmith, has 0. And where the hell is real surf gambling?

Oh I ain’t talking Fantasy Grudge where I might, maybe, could win a few thousand dollars over the course of a season. I’m talking Vegas-style over/unders etc. where I could lose my house over the course of a round.

And I’ve wanted this for such a long time and tried, for a brief moment last year, to pretend Fantasy Surfer was this. But doesn’t Fantasy Surfer feel… childish to you? Oh I know that all of surfing is childish but doesn’t Fantasy Surfer feel… childish and impotent?

To me, it feels like standing in a baseball card shop at thirteen. Like going to see a movie with your parents at fourteen. Like going to a dance with your own sister at fifteen.

Australian friends. You are able to bet the surfers. You are able to bet them like Americans can bet ponies. Do you? Do you win? Do you lose? Tell me what it feels like to really gamble on surfing. And if there are any Las Vegas casino owning BeachGrit fans reading right now, please tell me how we can host WSL Nite at your fine establishment.

Or maybe I’m wrong and should just play Fantasy Surfer. Maybe going to a dance with your own sister at fifteen feels awesome.

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m0rt
m0rt
9 years ago

Ahh the thrill of the 12 heat rnd 1 multi, serious coin to be made for little outlay, Making a quick grand while you sleep thanks to some upsets in Brazil, the highs are glorious but the lows, oh those ethan ewing lows!

?uzzled
?uzzled
9 years ago

Be careful what you ask for. You might recieve a used pair of panties worn by Chas.

nyc surfing golden boy
nyc surfing golden boy
9 years ago

i finished #200 out of 25,000 teams last year or so it said. my main attribute was having wilko on my team when he won the whole aussie leg.

Shark week is every week
Shark week is every week
9 years ago

I had a great little run a few years back when I put $50 on jordy to win brazil and he came up with the win! Carried the role on for rest of the year. Tipped parko at keramas when he won also. I can honestly say I’ve made more money gambling surfing than any other sport. Fuck betting on the dogs or horses or footy. Surfing is where its at.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
9 years ago

Great idea! Let’s gamble on the most inconsistently judged sport in the world. Genius.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
9 years ago

Well I am so with you Chas, Fantasy Surfer is so massively fucken idiotic I can’t even begin to consider it. “Ooooo look I picked these guys in a team! Even though they are not in a team! And I won! Even though I didn’t fucken do anything!”

Gambling however. It’s totally evil! But put money on a heat and even Saquarema is exciting.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

What if gambling on surfing got to Indian cricket level corrupt? Who would you be paying? Surfers to throw heats? But what if wave of the day came through and they couldn’t help but themselves get epically legged? Judges as insurance? The commish? So much potential for so much more tower storming. I’m coming around to it.

channelbottom
channelbottom
9 years ago

Resulting shenanigans might make leg-rope pulling seem rather quaint.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
9 years ago

The wannabes already miss plenty of waves due to their lack of wave judgement. You wanna target the big dogs like John John and um, Ace Buchan!

Brutus
Brutus
9 years ago

FFS easy , just pay some of those wannabe’s to miss a couple of waves , and easy money!

The MHL Buoy
The MHL Buoy
9 years ago

Well step up and put a real prize in the club to make it interesting then…

oceanyeti
oceanyeti
9 years ago
Reply to  The MHL Buoy

I’m all for a prize. Everyone keen to chuck $50 in the kitty?

The MHL Buoy
The MHL Buoy
9 years ago
Reply to  oceanyeti

Randomly we are actually in another group as well (u kiwi?) I suggested to the moderator something similar a few years ago but he is too lazy…

oceanyeti
oceanyeti
9 years ago
Reply to  The MHL Buoy

Hahaha classic, think I know just the very cat you talking bout… Yep and over here also!

The MHL Buoy
The MHL Buoy
9 years ago
Reply to  oceanyeti

I’m stu2d2

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
9 years ago

Fantasy Surfer is more like going into a baseball card shop at thirty than thirteen.

I wish surf gambling had the potential to fully ruin people, but alas going to the skatepark regularly has a higher likelihood of kindling addiction (which is really just making you a tougher, better person anyways).

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
9 years ago

The astute surfing gambler chooses to squander his life’s savings on Surfstitch shares. For the crossword puzzlers among us, Fantasy Surfer provides a few minutes of good wholesome family fun, before we move on to Monopoly + beer + meth + cocaine.

Adam
Adam
9 years ago

I gamble on the surfing and I love it. God Bless Australia.

german_surfer_007
german_surfer_007
9 years ago
Reply to  Adam

There is absolutely nothing else to do in Australia but gamble.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago

(Says the guy surfing a river).

longtom
longtom
9 years ago

was ist das?


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