Smells like teen spirit!
Smells like teen spirit!

Panic: So Cal sharks here to stay!

They were on their way to Mexico but then Trump!

Oh of course you are aware of all the shark sightings and attacks in what used to be bucolic southern California. People in the lower 1/3 of the state used to sigh thankful sighs of relief when considering the countryside north of San Francisco, Australia’s western and eastern halves, South Africa, etc.

“Thank heavens its not us…” they would whisper to surfing friends bobbing in Orange County’s warm waters who would respond, “Oh goodness me…” while placing a gentle hand over a suddenly troubled heart.

And then the troubles came. Oh how they came! Nipping and biting and breaching and bringing hell with them. There has been a general consensus, though, that they were merely passing through. Migrating to the warmer waters of Baja.

Except let’s read from shark expert Chris Lowe of Long Beach State in today’s Los Angeles Times.

Lowe, however, has a different theory. Usually, those juveniles would have migrated south to Mexico for warmer waters. But they didn’t, and they might not leave at all.

“The best evidence I have is that the last two winters none of those animals have migrated south to Baja but one — a 2-year-old, 8-foot shark,” Lowe told patch.com. “That, we attribute to El Nino because the water [temperature] never got below 60 degrees.

“The sharks are now getting bigger. They may be able to tolerate slightly cooler conditions. The bigger they get, the less likely they are to migrate. It all depends on feeding here.”

And the feeding is looking pretty sweet this coming fall when the Hurley Pro rolls into town. Am I right or am I right?

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Brutus
Brutus
9 years ago

Coastalwatch ,Nick C did a nice story on surfing reserves and why jet-ski’s should be exclusively given priority in places like the Gold Coast surfing reserve?

shootsthen
shootsthen
9 years ago

That article sent chills down my spine.

Huckleberry
Huckleberry
9 years ago

You’re right! Excellent perspective !

Paulo De Tarso Duarte
Paulo De Tarso Duarte
9 years ago

These damned north koreans! This damned Kim Jong Un! These damned north korean sharks !!!
God damn them all to hell !!!
Sending these damn sharks to the fields of the almighty, and landlord of the United States of America, Don Aldo Trump!
Let’s pray to almighty Don, to build a new wall, in the sea, around all of Kalifornia*!!!

ps: I think everyone already knows that the almighty Don, delivered California to the Russians, to pay friendly debt for the election result… the wall is a gift to Vladimir!

dickie toledo
dickie toledo
9 years ago

is climate change a hoax or a myth?

?uzzled
?uzzled
9 years ago
Reply to  dickie toledo

I personally have noticed climax change as I age.

dickie toledo
dickie toledo
9 years ago
Reply to  ?uzzled

what ever happened to acid rain?

seriously
seriously
9 years ago
Reply to  dickie toledo

yes

?uzzled
?uzzled
9 years ago

That tatto on Gabby’s armpit is the Medieval Times logo. Did he work there or is he just a Superfan?

Brutus
Brutus
9 years ago

speaking to a couple of nearly great whites the other day , the Trump factor does come into effect , as they are getting ready for the “wall” to be built , to keep in the whites , and stop them from going Mexico , as they might not get back , and as the surfing population in the USA is much larger , so are their girths , which means that for feeding , all the way with USA!

Joe Blowsmith
Joe Blowsmith
9 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

Is this a poem?

Tom
Tom
9 years ago

I don’t think you understand that this site is to take the piss on things surf and unsurf related!!! Not everything is serious
Guten Tag!!!
Namaste!!

humas tearss
humas tearss
9 years ago

Typo dude, it’s Isis.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
9 years ago

Sharks and Trump and Mexicans and El Niño and Science and Gabriel’s armpits are so passé. What an out of touch article, I am going to cancel my subscription!

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Yeah, we want more of Laird menstruating!

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
9 years ago

Don’t look backward Sir, Laird’s “Ballad of the Menstruating Female Surfer and The Shark” is also so passé. The next big story is “The Lament of the Female Surfer sent out to Macking Cloudbreak even though they said they wanted to”.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago

The sharks stayed because they like Trump! That’s not racist. Is it?

humas tearss
humas tearss
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Damn. I knew those sharks were Republicans! What do you expect from great whitey!

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago
Reply to  humas tearss

Those black tipped ones subscribe to the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy regarding their politics. Motherfuckas are inscrutable with their shit eating grins and all.

Brutus
Brutus
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

ah but only because they are white , and “GREAT” , so could be racist!


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