Captain Nemo jumps on the sub and resets.
Captain Nemo jumps on the sub and resets.

Terror: A new menace awaits WSL!

Could a giant squid disrupt J-Bay?

I mentioned Mick Fanning’s 2015 shark tangle just yesterday, in anticipation of this year’s J-Bay event which is almost around the corner. Oh the professional surfers were very brave when they voted to head back to the world’s most famous right hand point and we are the beneficiaries of their stoutness. Where would the tour be without J-Bay?

I hope the swell is full, I hope the sharks only observe and I hope there are no giant squid lurking beneath ready slowly drag Caio Ibelli or Joan Duru down to Davey Jones’s Locker.

Just yesterday video surfaced of an injured giant squid dominating a SUP in South Africa.

 

Thanks to Jules Verne and his 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea I am twice as scared of giant squid as I am of Great White sharks. A Great White shark attack, however brutal, seems like it would be quick and shock would so take over. A giant squid attack seems like it would be slow and very uncomfortable.

Just imagine if a giant squid slowly wrapped its tentacles around Mick Fanning and Turpel + Pottz had to fill ten, maybe twenty minutes of airtime with a play by play account?

Pottz: Oh shit. Excuse me.

Turpel: It looks like a giant squid is… trying to put Mick Fanning into comboland. He really does have a big reputation when it comes to those power moves.

Pottz: With the bump and lump on Mick’s body it seems its not going to affect the squid that much. He knows exactly what he needs to do in this situation.

Turpel: The squid is really setting up that first grab. A lot of flow in his style and approach. Driving off the neck with his second tentacle really responding to that adam’s apple section.

Pottz: The squid is using his priority. You can see how bumpy it is…

Etc.

There would have been no time to jump on the sled and reset. So let’s hope this giant squid is a one-off. Let’s hope for all of our sakes.

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Nosewater
Nosewater
9 years ago

It’s a nine hour drive from Melkbosstrand to J – bay. that squid should probably get cracking.

J H
J H
9 years ago

I’m more afraid of the Coney Island Whitefish.

Mahdi
Mahdi
9 years ago

“Looks like Giant squid is going to hop back on his sled and reset”

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
9 years ago

Yum. A lot of calamari!

J H
J H
9 years ago
Reply to  DrunkenAngel

The tentacles are the best part!

cuttiesandfloaters
cuttiesandfloaters
9 years ago

squid, power, flow, ticking all the right boxes

ricmatic
ricmatic
9 years ago

He’s got a good squid under his feet

bitter guy
bitter guy
9 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

just getting his feet in the wax

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
9 years ago

Was it a giant squid or octopus that Jimmy Slade defeated many years ago? It would be the ultimate way to go out! Slater wrestles the squid into submission (gaining Joel Tudors respect) and then goes on to win the competition and promptly retires. Mick Fanning will no longer be the most famous and respected surfer in the world, Slater can fly back to the South of France and hang out with Glen Hansard et al…

HollyBecksCutback
HollyBecksCutback
9 years ago

This is my favorite thing I’ve ever read on BG. I could jut HEAR JT’s silky smooth voice saying “The squid is really setting up that first grab. A lot of flow in his style and approach”

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
9 years ago

Gotta watch out for the sucker punches!

Definite early advantage to the squid, but if he made it through the first few rounds Mick’s superior oxygen delivery systems would give him an edge. IMHO

bitter guy
bitter guy
9 years ago

how’s the chick screeching like Mike C’s girl when he starts talking about Namibia? and lowering down a rope to help the squid? that really is SUP type thinking.

Otto
Otto
9 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

Here’s the SUC/K’s original video he uploaded and offered to license. The sounds cascading out of that woman’s mouth are…….are…….fuck, someone got a good adjective?

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Klein Zack
Klein Zack
9 years ago

I like it. Giant squids like to fuck SUPs. I will deploy a couple at my local break to clean the line-up…

Otto
Otto
9 years ago

It would appear that the cephalopod has better problem solving skills than that SUC/K (Stand Up Canoer/Kayaker).

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
9 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Good job staying on-brand!


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