It's about order! And progress!
Tomorrow. Tomorrow the window opens for the Corona Open J-Bay brought to you by Jack Link’s beef jerky, who would like to remind you to Feed Your Wild Side™. And these breaks between contests. Oh my goodness what is even the point? What is even the purpose of life minus professional surfing at the highest level? If you discover some other meaning please let me know.
In the meantime, though, is your fantasy team set? How are you doing in BeachGrit’s Club? I am last place after a series of disastrous choices. You know that I wish surfing had real gambling in the United States instead of this childish fantasy business which would mean that I would be broke and on the street right now.
Or maybe rich. Pressure has a way of bringing out the best in a man.
I have a wonderful friend in Australia, in any case, who does real surf gambling and he said due Australia’s general racism that Brazilian surfers are often passed over even when they are the better choice and/or the odds get all messed up. The savvy surf gambler, he tells me, can take advantage of this.
And I thought to myself, “What better time to take advantage of the Brazilian storm than now and what better place to smash racist barriers than South Africa? A beautifully proud, multicultural country where people of all colors and creeds march down streets paved with cement and love?”
Oh I know this is not real gambling but it is all I have and think that my team will smash yours in J-Bay. Now THIS is order and progress!
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Your choices point to something much more sinister. Five goofyfoots.
Hey I talked about this shit on my dumb podcast yesterday https://itunes.apple.com/us…
Just what are you accusing Chas of?
Quiet! I’m trying to trick people in to going to my podcast.
“What is even the purpose of life minus professional surfing at the highest level? If you discover some other meaning please let me know.”
Chas, your special purpose of life is to be a jerk at the highest level to The Inertia, Stab and of course Morgan Williamson. To eradicate the surfing world of depressive surf journalism.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Doesn’t everyone get bored of my mud slinging toward Venice and Venice-adjacent though? I mean, I don’t get bored but I thought everyone else did.
It does have its rare moments between the overwhelming tedium of it all. Keep serving it up but treat it like sugar and salt. OK in moderation.
Shit. I just threw up another one. I suppose I like my sugars and salts. I’m American after all.
Sticking to the theme of sugars and salts…I say you incorporate a gloat (sugar) of the week and goat (salt) of the week. For gloat of the week, I’d like to read more about your surf trips to the middle east, or that time you saved…..someone…. or something. (Don’t tell me to just buy your book. Inspire me to buy your book). For goat of the week, bust out the brass-knuckles and let Venice, Venice-adjacent or the Sultan of Swish Morgs taste your vitriol.
Do you really want Mid East stories though? Like, really?
Absolutely. But only ones that are outlandish lies passed off as truth.
isn’t one thing as good as the other……if there is enough insight and sense of the inner and outer worlds to bring it to life?
Do you know what I mean?
So you did! Bet you can’t wait for a shark to bite someone!
Nothing wrong with a bit of family-friendly fun, old sport. Do you ever play chess/checkers/other boardgames with your kid? Do you make her do shots or gamble her pocket money?
Oh Chas, it is on! Wanna throw a drink on it?
Yes! Viva the lucky country! I mean Brazil!
Just one? Live a little man!
Have we talked about Chas’ FS profile pic yet? The man himself, rocking the mic French-styles back in the good old ASP days? What a rogue!
Fuck off Chas, I’m the Ricky Basnett of Fantasy Surfer, don’t even try to take this away from me!
Respectfully disagree with your wonderful friend Chas. We might be racist as hell but we’re also gambling addicts without compare, and no amount of white pride will put us off a cunning flutter when Sportsbet forget that Filipe’s turns work as well at Bells as they do at Snapper or some such.
Have you made money riding the Storm?
I love Italo dearly.
It makes sense to back the Brazilian contingent at J-Bay, considering the fact that it is the home break of none other than the Godfather of Poo-stance himself, Mr. Shaun Tomson. The style works well there.
KVF taking no prisoners. I like it.
No Nat Young so we’re all winners at J-Bay!