Geopolitic: North Korea targets Hawaii?

It is time for Da Hui Diplomacy!

Three days ago North Korea successfully launched a long range ballistic missile, the first successful long range ballistic missile launch in the rogue nation’s history. Kim Jong Un declared that it was a present for the “American bastards.”

I didn’t pay attention because I was too busy writing the rumor of big events happening at the Kelly Slater Surf Ranch. (Maybe Jack Johnson concerts to go alongside WQS events.)

And did you know that Jack Johnson grew up on Oahu’s North Shore? Of course you did.

Did you also know that North Korea’s new successful long range ballistic missile can maybe reach Oahu’s North Shore? I didn’t until National Public Radio told me yesterday.

As surfers, should we take this aggression personally? I think maybe we should. I also think that Da Hui should take it personally. Just imagine how wonderfully effective a Pyongyang visit from da boyz would be!

“Ho. Which one you fukkahs Kim Jong Un?”

A nuclear North Korea would most certainly be a thing of the past.

If any one of you can draw let’s collaborate on a cartoon called Da Boyz go to North Korea. I have no doubt it would be a hit.

Have you ever seen a more deliciously slappable face?
Have you ever seen a more deliciously slappable face?

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channelbottom
channelbottom
9 years ago

Can you imaging the fallout (no pun intended)? Eddie Rothman would go ballistic (no pun intended). He would march (literally) over the pacific, stomping with a thousand-yard death-stare over to NK and deliver one of those terrifying open-palm slaps to Kim’s wobbly cheek. No more would be said as he marched back across the water. No more would be heard from NK for several years.

Don Stine III
Don Stine III
9 years ago

who cares what da hui thinks

Strider's Gobble Neck
Strider's Gobble Neck
9 years ago

Trying to eliminate all world title competition, leaving our last dying hopes in Kolohe.

dickie toledo
dickie toledo
9 years ago

most Hawaiians are unable to read or write. So I welcome the idea.

longtom
longtom
9 years ago

solid hairline

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago
Reply to  longtom

He ain’t a professional receding at all.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago
Reply to  longtom

I heard he uses oil distilled from the sweat of farm labourers to maintain the sheen.

?uzzled
?uzzled
9 years ago

Mike Dickey is gay

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
9 years ago

You keep quiet about the NPR or hummus tears will crush you with the clenched fist of truth. Bloody beatnik.

Nice shorts by the way. Da Hui only does below-the-knee-feat-Metallica these days.

Bleedin' Brzezinski
Bleedin' Brzezinski
9 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

Erm, yeah, about that, I lost my Huma’s tears login credentials, and rather than try and resurrect the handle, I used the opportunity to immortalize Trump’s latest outrage with Mika B. I thought it was pretty obvious HT and BB were the same person, with the same poncy, defender-of-freedom-in-the-face-of-totalitarian-thought-police-style, so I never formally announced the name change.

Alas, I’m feeling pretty guilty now, as it seems not to be obvious, as I have had a couple of up votes from MC, KVF, Longtom, and others who may be less inclined to encourage my ideological bent.

But now I’m thinking a far better handle is “Clenched Fist of Truth”. Fuken hell, just writing that makes me feel like a hard man.

A hard man that can’t bake Madeleines for fuck.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago

Not sure if “Clenched Fist of Truth” is a better name for a band or sex tape?

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
9 years ago

You bad man.

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
9 years ago

Bleedin’ and Hummus have completely different voices! Can you have all of the handles?
Madeleines for Fuck is also a great handle.
*edit: Huma’s. damn autocorrrrrrrrect

While I’m here, what happened to Trogan fan? I’d always assumed trogan and humas were the same. Similar voice at least.

Bleedin' Brzezinski
Bleedin' Brzezinski
9 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

Any more handles, and I’d be schizo. But man, you are the poet laureate of handles. Madeleines for Fuck. Nice idea.

f u
f u
9 years ago

who is the little kid in da hui picture?

Litmus and Chill
Litmus and Chill
9 years ago
Reply to  f u

Jack Johnson


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