Chas Smith gets socked at Florida trade show.
Chas Smith gets socked at Florida trade show.

Surf journalist Chas Smith “has the most slappable face in surfing”

“I totally understand where Ashton Goggans is coming from…”

Charleston, SC, USA (traditional home of the Kiawah, Edisto, and Yamassee peoples) is a reverse boom town.

Meaning it’s going through now what Florida and California went through decades past: skyrocketing prices, land being flipped daily by dirt pimps, a Starbucks on every corner, microbreweries sprouting up like mushrooms, stag and hen nights, a top 10 shopping corridor on King Street, and all the tensions between locals (if you’re not 5 generations deep, you’re not a local), tourists, and Boomer Yankees moving in to retire that you’d expect. 

In short, it’s Disney World for rich white people.

The other thing Charleston has is one of the most gorgeous ecosystems on this sweet planet Earth: the intertidal marsh. The marshes here are some of the most biodense ecosystems given the pluff mud (what a perfume, especially at low tide), spartina reeds (their tannin as they decay makes the waters here a muddy brown and helps all the bacteria that form the vibrant trophic pyramid), oysters (millions of them filter feeding and cleaning the waters, and you can hear their shells open and close as the tide shifts), dolphins and turtles and egrets and fish and sharks and shrimp, and all the over-60 wannabe pirates playing pickleball and listening to Jimmy Buffet in their khakis and loafers and trucker caps while out on their boats you can shake a mint julep at.  

There’s also a surf scene.  

Hard to imagine this, as the waves suck. Dogs drinking out of a dog bowl generate higher waves with more power. Men aged over 50 suffering through colonoscopies every 5 years are getting more consistency than the weak shit here, outside of hurricane swells which are as dependable as Gamecock football tearing up the SEC. 

Despite this utter lack, there’s still a surf scene, with accomplished shapers, photogs and videographers, surf shops, surf brands, and a handful of short and longboarders who are regionally competitive and, if given some sponsorship opportunities to travel to real waves, would actually do some damage on the QS, men and women, both. 

It’s this scene I’ve been on the far periphery of going back to the 1990s when I moved here to finish out high school, and the vortex of Charleston that has sucked me back in off and on ever since, and have seen evolve over those years.  

Same shitty waves breaking the same shitty way, but somehow feeding a community of stoke.

And I ventured into this community Thursday night, as Cam and Kelly Richards were invited down from Myrtle Beach to talk shop with David Lee Scales for his Surf Splenor podcast.  And along for that ride, half of BG ownership, Mr. Charlie Smith.

What’s it like to stalk someone you don’t consider a hero, and who only exists in your mind as a BeachGrit provocateur but who, I must admit, gives 100% at work (10% on Monday, 25% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday, 5% on Friday, off on Saturday and Sunday…light a candle)?  

In shame I admit not only did I go to this event (all things being equal, Cam Richards has to be a legit top-10 surfer on the planet right now), but that I stuck around after and introduced myself to Charlie.  

Here’s what I learned:

  1. He’s tall. Should be running point guard on a men’s over-40 league pick-up team.  
  2. His hair. Half of his body movements are spent pulling the hair out of his eyes from this one little set of locks in the back of his head that hang down over his eyes.  But maybe it’s some literary affectation where he can tug at it while dropping in some reference to an author no one else except maybe Longtom has read.  Personally I wanted to take a razor to it and just ease his self-inflicted pain.
  3. His face–entirely slappable. I understand where Goggans was coming from.
  4. Sense of style–accomplished, in a living out of a suitcase way. Slip ons, button up shirt with top buttons open (waxed chest), but the cologne…my wife asked me if I’d been out with another woman upon my return home.  
  5. MC capabilities–very quiet, actually. Spent more time hoovering beers and dropping an occasional f-bomb, than anything else.  Voice is much more high-pitched than expected, too, given his height. And, surprisingly, Kelly and Cam took Chas and his few questions seriously, but that was probably their Southern hospitality coming through.
  6. Family–loves his wife and daughters. Came out often. A fierce and eager love.
  7. Surfers–The People. Not the pros or industry. The People. It came out that he also fiercely and eagerly loves this little community of anonymous misfits that have aggregated around him and DR like barnacles on a boat in Charleston Harbor. What’s crazy is that some in this community love Chas and DR and BeachGrit so much they will even fly in from New York City for a one-night live podcast event in Charleston, wearing a vintage BG hat (respect, BG brother).  

I’d personally not go that far (see #3, above), but I would suggest that if Chas is visiting your town for an event, to track him down. 

He’s outgoing, patient, and even, I daresay, kind. He’ll listen to what you’re saying, not lord over you that he’s probably twice as smart as you and has been to all the cool cities of the planet (and to Yemen), and will cheer on your surfing stories.  

In this world of AI pish, masturbatory surf bro-culture, and overcrowded lineups, it’s nice to still have a little grit. While his online persona is one thing, Chas’s real life presence is actually that of an open, respectful, and patient listener while sprinkling some of that grit into an industry that takes itself too seriously, an industry that does so at the expense of realizing most of us do this surfing thing because we just love being in the ocean, and being around people that feel the same. 

My guess is Chas does all of it because of that same love.

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Yago Dora wins Lexus Trestles Pro.
Yago Dora wins Lex Trestles Pro in first ten seconds of final, smashing Kanoa Igarashi's heart into a million pieces.

Yago Dora KO’s Kanoa Igarashi in one at Lexus Trestles Pro!

More than a surfing victory! A rebuke to surf fans who believe this is Jordy Smith's destiny year.

Surfing is lucky to have the Brazilian Yago Dora in its stable. Yago, who is twenty-nine years old and the current world number two presents as a mix between Craig Anderson and Noa Deane wrapped up with a Chippa Wilson-esque aptitude for x-rated frivolity above the lip.

A short time ago, Yago Dora, the son of former pro turned surf coach Leandro Lo, effectively won the final of the Lexus Trestles Pro within the first ten seconds with an almost perfect ride, one that scrawled out the template for the rest of the final, and smashed Kanoa Igarashi’s heart into a million pieces.

 

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In pretty three-to-five-foot waves reminiscent of Kelly Slater’s breakout win at the Body Glove Surf Bout III win in 1990, Yago Dora similarly delivered a game-changer, “writing his name all over the Lowers left,” said Joe Turpel. “He is turning in a surf movie part in this final.”

“He’s an artist,” said the former pro Jesse Mendes. 

Kanoa was praised for the speed he was able to generate but criticised for his inability to deliver spectators goose-bumped arms, although an old-school Kerrupt flip and shuv-it on one wave was applauded for “switching gears.” 

Yago, and women’s winner “Baddie” Lou Sakura Johnson, were both powered by Matt Biolos’ Lost surfboards, a fine choice given the Bear Jew’s thirty-year relationship with Lowers.

Yago Dora’s win is his second of the season and puts him within a dusting of points of world number one Jordy Smith.

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Comment Live, Lexus Trestles Pro Finals Day!

"What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage!"

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Selema Masekela, son of immigrants.
I also came to Southern California when I was 16 years of age, and I remember distinctly how comfortable kids were with calling the Mexican kids in my school beaners or wetbacks, and I remember when I had to literally take my forearm and put this dude up against the lockers and be like, don't say that shit around me.

Surfing’s Selema Masekela loses 1000 followers in 24 hours “for supporting hardworking, brown LA citizens.”

"People are being snatched out of schools and places of business literally at AR gunpoint in neighbourhoods not far from where I live."

If it doesn’t rain it pours and when it don’t tis dry,” goes the old couplet.

Ain’t that the case with the surf broadcaster, master storyteller and son of the South African jazz king and anti-apartheid activist Hugh Masekela, Carlsbad’s own Selema Masekela.

Selema Masekela, who is fifty-three, had a dry spell on BeachGrit for many years. I fell under his spell, you must remember, at Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch in 2017 when Selema, then just Sal, shared with me his chocolate flavoured protein bars with no limit stipulated should I want more than one.

Then, a brief flutter in the spotlight, after his relationship with 12 Years a Slave star Lupita Nyong’o was officially ended when Lupita posted, “It is necessary for me to share a personal truth and publicly dissociate myself from someone I can no longer trust.”

Yesterday, BeachGrit reported on Selema’s claim that surfing is roiled by White Supremacy.

“That’s one of the insidious things about White Supremacy as a construct,” Selema Masekela said on New Yorker Justin Jay’s podcast. “This idea that you can put people in boxes of what they are allowed to do so whiteness or White Supremacy holding up a barrier to where you’re allowed to go, who you’re allowed to be, at a certain point, the people who are being subjected to these rules, they start to believe it!”

And today, Selema delivered a powerful monologue to his fans after, he says, at least one thousand of his Instagram followers split his camp following his opposition to the Trump admin’s hardline stance on illegal immigrants.

 

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“I lost one thousand followers in the last 24 hours, for choosing to support hardworking citizens in Los Angeles, most of whom are brown, being snatched out of schools and places of business and off the streets, literally at gunpoint, AR gunpoint, in neighbourhoods not far from where I live,” he said.

“And I’m grateful. I’m grateful to those thousand plus who departed, to those of you who thought that because perhaps we both enjoy surfing, snowboarding, skateboarding, freestyle motocross, any of the things that you might have in common with me or that you might have looked to me for, as a voice, that when you hear my actual voice it makes you cringe and feel some sort of way.

“Blessings to all of you that have departed and to those of you who decide to stay. Listen, I don’t have a choice but to use my voice. I am the son of immigrants. My mother came here from Haiti. My grandmother was fleeing political unrest. My father came here from South Africa as a political exile, fleeing the repressive, racist, evil, apartheid government and was a political exile for 30 years and never stopped using his voice through his art and through his music and helped to raise enough awareness in the world, he and others, that apartheid ended in his lifetime.

“So I don’t have a choice. I also came to Southern California when I was 16 years of age, and I remember distinctly how comfortable kids were with calling the Mexican kids in my school beaners or wetbacks, and I remember when I had to literally take my forearm and put this dude up against the lockers and be like, don’t say that shit around me.

“And it was funny because those same kids that love to scream out La Migra at Mexican kids, they were the first ones to want to go to Roberto’s or Filiberto’s or Juanita’s for their favorite bean and cheese burrito.

“So yeah, we’re in this for the long game. And I’m going to continue to use my voice in the best way that I can. And if that offends you, well, y’all know where the door is.”

Among the comments was the scandal-prone adult surf learner website The Inertia, long known for speaking truth to power etc.

“Sadly, we’ve seen this 100X on our own page over the years. Whether we share op-Eds that are meant to start thoughtful discussions or we share blunt, matter of fact news, if people don’t like what they’re hearing we can typically predict ahead of time that something is going to lose us hundreds or even thousands of followers.”

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Soft and geeky Beach Boys
The soft and geeky Beach Boys, ol Brian Wilson far right.

Why surfers hated the “soft and chubby and fully geeked out” Beach Boys

“It was this whiny, cornball music, and we stated hissing and hooting, saying ‘What a rip-off!’

The only surprise surrounding the death of ol Brian Wilson yesterday was that he was still alive.

Politely described as “fragile”, Brian Wilson was tortured by a schizoaffective disorder, which included hallucinations and hearing voices, and which was not improved by how hard he hit LSD, pills and booze.

Amid all the praise yesterday, and justified ‘cause Wilson could write a tune, Big Sur my fav, not many outlets touched on how unpopular the Beach Boys were with actual surfers.

Which led me to dive into the Encyclopedia of Surfing for Warshaw’s take. He didn’t disappoint.

Surfers never embraced the Beach Boys, Jan and Dean, or any of the other one-hit-wonder vocal surf music groups. Surf shop managers politely accepted Beach Boys promo LPs from traveling Capital Records marketers, then sidearmed the records out the back door toward the dumpster. Bruce Brown, John Severson, Bud Browne—nobody used Jan and Dean songs on their surf movie soundtracks. Surf magazine editors aggressively ignored both groups, even though the music and image was perfectly aligned with the clean-cut, USSA-supported view of the sport everybody was pushing.

Surfers themselves had invented the Stomp, brought the Rendezvous back to life, and named Dick Dale’s new style of music. The Beach Boys and the rest, on the other hand—this was being foisted on them by outsiders, like the beach movies. Exasperated surfers didn’t know where to start with their complaints. Jan and Dean at least looked the part—tan, thin, blond, barefoot; T-shirts and white jeans—but the Beach Boys were soft and chubby and fully geeked out in their matching candy-stripe button-down shirts. Both groups were in magazines like Teen Talk and 16. Plus all that falsetto. And the ballads. Put a gun to his head, and Dick Dale still wouldn’t sing a ballad.

More than anything, surfers’ disregard for the Beach Boys and Jan and Dean came down to authenticity—or lack thereof.

“I was riding in a car with a friend when we first heard ‘Surfer Girl,’” Los Angeles surfer and 1964 world championship finalist Mike Doyle once recalled. “It was this whiny, cornball music, and we stated hissing and hooting, saying ‘What a rip-off!’ Years later I realized how good the Beach Boys’ songs actually are. But at the time, it was like they were pretending they’d made it down the stairs at Malibu and were part of the crew—except they couldn’t even surf, and everyone knew it.”

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