Who has better shark ratings... 24x gold medalist Michael Phelps or Mick Fanning?
A few nights ago, or maybe it was last night, the world’s greatest swimmer, Michael Phelps was supposed to race a great white shark to see which was faster. The program had been pumped for months. Phelps vs. Shark etc. Many people wondered how this would happen. Would Phelps swim in a cage maybe? Would there be some sort of fence?
The day finally came and the main event built up for over an hour until the very end when Michael Phelps ended up racing a computer generated shark.
Many people became very angry and put their anger on Twitter.
“Call me crazy but I thought they were gonna put Phelps up against a real shark not a simulation. I feel robbed.”
“Should’ve called it Michael Phelps vs a Computer Generated Simulation. Huge letdown.”
“Waited an hour for Michael Phelps to race a CGI shark. Discovery is receiving a strongly worded letter fur sure.”
“IT WAS A FAKE SHARK. Phelps raced a fake shark….and lost. I feel cheated.”
“#Spoiler #PhelpsVShark was essentially 58 minutes of fishing for sharks & 38 seconds of #Phelps in the water LOSING to a CGI #Shark.”
“Michael Phelps has been hyping up that he’s going to race a shark for months now. He did it tonight and it was a damn CGI shark #FakeNews”
“Phelps racing a fake shark is like when ur teacher says there’s gonna be a sub but shows up the next day”
Etc.
These go on forever and Discovery is very embarrassed but shouldn’t be. Not everything is the World Surf League and not everyone is Mick Fanning. Am I right or am I right?
You Can’t Script This™
It Takes a Shark to Make a Tour™
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and he used mermaid-like swimfins, I call cheating…
How do you think Michael’s pec’s match up against Ian Thorpe’s Chas??
I swam (swum? Swimmed?) in the ocean yesterday. I didn’t see any sharks, but shit neither did Phelps! Discovery never even gave me a passing glance…
A man with such obvious talent should be having bong pulling competitions. Fuck he’d smash some huge cones I reckon.
It takes a Tour to Shark a Mick?
He should have just jumped off the end of the north wall at Ballina and swam back to the beach.
This has nothing to do with the story but, fun fact, Vicodin sinks in coffee. I just found out,I couldn’t really think of anywhere else to go with the info.
Keep up the good work.
Your research has always been cutting edge
Well, after being pulled over and harassed for the color of my tint,I had to think quick, I know chas will find use in this info one day.
I like the way you dropped us in that story. Brilliant. Jonathan Richman and John Darnielle would be tipping their hats.
Thank you, I just didn’t think anyone on the southern Baptist Church thread would care.
There you go, upvotes!
????
you’re still here!
the grit it takes to race a fake shark. researchers say phelps is more likely to succeed by having gone thru this situation.
My IQ just dropped at least a point watching that. Imagine how many points Phelps lost smoking himself retarded and coming up with this lame concept.
The guy’s been submerged in pool chemicals for 30+ years. Weed is the least of his problems.
If this shit gets any dumber he’ll get Madisons Monster contract
I walked to work today, raced a bus. I lost. It wasn’t televised.
At least that was real
This paycheck should float his weed habit for a month… That was lame. #rollonephelps