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Would you like to catch this look from Sunny Garcia?
Would you like to catch this look from Sunny Garcia? | Photo: Steve Sherman

Sunny to The Inertia: “Fuck you guys!”

Venice-adjacent website puts Sunny Garcia in a photoshopped jail!

Sometimes haplessness is an endearing trait, don’t you think? Like when your can’t-get-anything-right-uncle crashes his mom’s minivan and loses his job selling Van Life magazine door to door. Or when he tells everyone that what surfing needs is a “definitive online community” with a straight face.

Or when he decides to join Tinder.

Oh its hilarious but also heart-warming. He just can’t get anything right!

And ain’t Venice-adjacent’s The Inertia just like this uncle? The very definition of “hapless” and in its own way so lovable.

Today’s episode is titled, “We decided to superimpose Sunny Garcia’s face into a shitty prison picture underneath the caption: ‘Pop quiz, hot shot: Which surfer tried to sell $500,000 worth of heroin to an undercover cop? Hint: NOT Sunny Garcia.’ on Facebook that linked to a story titled 5 Surfers Who’ve Gotten in Serious Trouble With the Law that included Sunny Garcia while somehow also making fun of WSL women’s commissioner Jessi-Miley-Dyer.”

There have been, of course, many surfers in history who have fallen afoul of the law. I have no idea what the five chosen by The Inertia (Sunny Garcia, Miki Dora, Chris Ward, Rick Rasmussen and Mitch Coleborn) have in common, how their various brushes with the police relate to each other or why they were picked but why does the hapless uncle do anything at all?

We will never know! He so crazy!

And what did Sunny Garcia have to say on Facebook?

Hey The Inertia like how you put my photo next to witch surfer got caught selling Heroin and just wanted to say Fuck you guys I’m sure you won’t like the talk we are going to have over this.

Who, do you think, at The Inertia office will answer the phone when Sunny calls? Do you think Zach Weisberg will or do you think he’ll pass the duty on to an intern or do you think there will be mandatory “NO ANSWERING PHONES ANYBODY! SERIOUSLY GUYS!” taped on the wall all week long?

Stay tuned for next week’s episode of your favorite program tentatively titled “We decided to try an alaia at Venice Beach and accidentally decapitated a small dog whose owner is suing us for negligence. NO ANSWERING PHONES ANYBODY! SERIOUSLY GUYS!”

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38 Comments
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Herbo

CS just loves to throw shit on the ventilator

Mapski

Thin Lizzy “Fighting” would be appropriate.

Helmet Rash

the interia just lost the last little bit of respect for not owning the article and completely pussying out

hunter biden pipe master

Inertia headline: “5 yoga positions to recover from a Sunny Garcia ass-whooping with”

ill_threadz

FUCK the Inertia and FUCK Beach Grit !!! #dontSurfInHawaii #CRACKS !!!!

Chas Smith

Don’t be mean.

ponokeali'i

its never a good idea to disrespect Hawaiians especially regarding our sport and behind the shield of “creative journalistic license”.

a good rule of thumb to use is never say anything about Sunny, or any other Hawaiian for that matter, that you wouldn’t say to their face. it’s not at all funny and could get very painful.

nyc surfing golden boy

i am zach weisberg. i am the mark zuckerberg of the surfing media world. sunny will bow before me and kiss my ring as do all my other surfing followers

Bleedin' Brzezinski

next level

Doobalachy

It seems the link no longer works and I can’t find the story, can you repost your copy chas?

longtom

indecent exposure .

Mapski

Those godless Canadians had it coming.

throwing disqus

Could you seriously organise to have a blood feud play out between sunny and the inertia. The battle royale should be both warring factions take turns throwing cupcakes at each other. Id pay to watch a live cast of that.

Professor Ski Lodge

witch.

Mark

say that to his face!

Eddie Haiku

Catch this look? He looks like he wants a cuddle, not throw a few!

?uzzled

Articles like this don’t make me think bad about Sunny, they only serve to reinforce the respect and stoke that I have for this titan of surfing. Sunny is not of privilege, he represents the hard scrabble roots that many of us come from. Hopefully Sunny will bust some fucking teeth out of those the Inertia pussies.

Snowbored

Id bet on Chris ward busting some fucking teeth out of those inertia pussies, especially the female ones…

Bleedin' Brzezinski

Maybe the wolf pak legal team got in touch.

Snowbored

I just have one question: did Sunny bend over for the soap?

Bleedin' Brzezinski

See, Mariano? This is why you shouldn’t try to stalk/doxx beach gritters. Anonymity lets us honestly express our thoughts about felons without fear of repercussion.

bitter guy

dang, its getting like that up in here?

ponokeali'i

I DARE you to say that to Sunny’s face !

party of common sense

How could some cock like Zack Weinberg be making fun of Sunny Garcia, he s 50 and still surfs better than all of those kooks that pretend to be surf journalist

nyc surfing golden boy

sunny is all bark and no bite. has a huge chip on his shoulder, does not scare me

Chas Smith

Go to The Inertia offices and answer their phone for them! Great relief I’m sure!

nyc surfing golden boy

i already talk to morons on the phone all day at my job so it wont be much of a stretch

Neal Kearney

If he doesn’t scare you why don’t you affix your real name to your Aloha Akbar avatar, instead of “…..”? Let’s see if you have any “bite” in ya!!

nyc surfing golden boy

chas smiths writing scares me

Ricoimmo

well we already know zach has no problem going mano-a-mano with his fiercest antagonists. did he or did he not ask chas to stop picking on him? i’m sure it’ll go down the same way when sunny visits town

Brutus

haha , so why don’t you post your real name and number for Sunny , if you are not scared of him are you scared that might beat the crap out of him?

Bleedin' Brzezinski

Connor McGregor, 1 Dublin St., Dublin, Ireland.

Brutus

whiteman picking on Hawaiians , got it!

Nick Carroll

It is pretty much guaranteed that he is not scared of you …… Fuck how many dots are there in your name anyway?

nyc surfing golden boy

i love you nick. your are my hero.

Nick Carroll

Six? Is it six dots? I really have to stop drinking.

Bubba Zanetti

Ahh the intoxication of anonymity. The Dutch courage of the comments section.

Bleedin' Brzezinski

The Dutch Cap protecting you from the consequences of your opinions.


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