Jordy Smith is set to win Trestles. Set to win Trestles big!
I read a wonderful piece on the World Surf League’s website this morning about Jordy Smith, the big South African, and his special connection with Trestles. Did you know that Smith, who clocks in at 6’3/190, has won the event two out of the last three times?
Amazing and you should certainly read the rest here.
I, for one, had forgotten but the big bru’s special relationship with that wave could easily solidify his grasp on the top slot and made it very difficult to derail his all kinds of husky momentum.
Wonderful. And it the World Surf League story the phrases “big South African” “big bru” and his height/weight were all included, which gave me slight pause (husky momentum this author’s own addition).
Oh of course I was kidding when I blamed the League of fat shaming Jordy with their web ad “194 lbs of boom” but it is impossible to read his name in any surf media without also seeing the words “big South African” attached.
Do you think Jordy likes it?
But more importantly, what if there was one phrase attached permanently to your name? What would it be?
I think mine would be “reed-like Chas Smith.” Or maybe “unfortunately trim Chas Smith.
But what about you? What’s yours? And be honest.
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I’m totally on board the Jordy wagon at the moment. As for my nickname, well, it’s “The Good Captain”. Creative? Not really, but better than “Bad Captain” I suppose. It’s hard to shake being a douche bag in the captain world so I take pride in being in the circle of trust.
Y’all reckon Jordy drops the mondo grumpers? the super dookers?
I’ll bet he’s serving mastadonic deposits.
Jordy “Huge Dumps” Smith
little biz partner Chas Smith
Kitty litter. C’mon man, everybody paws at the sand. Really?
How about “receding hairline Chas Smith”?
Could be mine too. I’m on that team.
“The attractively balding” etc
ps why are you guys so anti-J? Is it because his last name is….SMITH??
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
The story of Balaam’s Donkey
Space Monkey: Four on the Floor
Holy Cutback. Chas single-handedly moved the Yemen issue from the fringe bowels of the internet (here) to the mainstream….https://http://www.nytimes.com/interactive...
Chas piggy backed on Yemen and its cholera outbreak. America’s obsession with itself has overshadowed Yemen’s crisis. Atleast one national and several international news sources broke the story weeks ago.
Cholera is a very appropriate issue for fringe bowels journalism. Almost absurdly so.
I thought you were the jaunty mincer?
I’m just the garbage man/lemon next to the pie/point grinder.
He should be thankful the WSL describe him as “big” and not “fuck eyed, unfulfilled talent” like they oughta. He better attempt at least one air at Trestles or the phrase attached to my name will be “alleged murderer of the fuck eyed, unfulfilled talent Jordy Smith.” Boost bru, boost!!!
Shat-in-sock-whiteboy
VONR 63 upvotes..
Unreason begets likewise.
“I thought it would be bigger” Gymencosmastia
Chas “Chap Stick” Smith
Mine would be “Massive blowhard”.
Look, if my name was Noob-Noob, and I’m not saying it isn’t, it would
be: “all the bitches come around for Noob-Noob, his dick gets more
visits than youtube.”
I think of myself as “Dane-esque.” Sure. Let’s go with that.
That’s a nice way of describing fat. Might steal that one myself
Whooooooo said anything about fat?
“Callipygian”
I think Jordy probably prefers it to the hypnotic nipple epithet.
Mine is “Too (expletive) Tall” in every country I have ever visited.
Is it true what they say about the correlation between height and length? Because if it is, you can legitimately request a different sobriquet. Maybe something like “subway” (as in footlong)?
Oh, I think in that case I’d be “maybe above average but nothing to boast about yer fuckin’ giraffe”.
Some would simply say “fat” …