A podcast gift from Santa's big red bag!
Some mornings I wake up glum. It is cloudy, I am tried, spent, the surf is flat, there is no funny surf news, there are no professional surf contests, there will be nothing on television that evening and the covers got pulled off in the middle of the night and I spent the whole thing half asleep and cold.
Other mornings I wake up and Rory Parker has interviewed Zach Weisberg on his podcast Everything is Always Terrible.
Of course you know Rory Parker, the one time BeachGrit contributor who left in a blaze of very hurt feelings. And of course you know Zach Weisberg, the founder of Venice-adjacent’s favorite parkour website The Inertia.
Together?
Like Christmas!
The last time Rory Parker stopped by BeachGrit he explained “Why I quit.” A snippet?
In the beginning there were lots of kind words about being ‘partners’ and a ‘team,’ but when push came to shove they made it clear they’d always considered me an independent contractor.
I should’ve quit then, but I let Derek talk me into hanging around with a bunch of vague promises. Because I truly enjoyed writing for BG. It was fun.
Until it wasn’t anymore.
If I’m being totally honest, a few kind words would have been enough to keep me around. But that was too much to ask for.
Chas loves to play up the fact that he’s an unpleasant person. And he truly is. Rather than being a partner in the site I loved I found myself working, for free, for someone I can’t stand.
I had been begging for this sort of honesty since “Rory Parker” left the byline and wanted to further explore so quickly emailed him and said I would come onto his podcast and we could talk lots about. He asked, “Why would I do that?” To which I confusedly responded, “To get more listeners?”
His answer was, “I’m happy with the listeners that I have.”
Hmmmm and the very definition of an echo chamber. All fine and good but I still want Rory to have more listeners so let’s listen in on him and Zach!
I skipped around a bit, I’ll be honest, and heard some talk about racism, coffee, diabetes and wrestling. It was a conversation between two very like-minded men with slightly different approaches to life. Rory sounds upbeat. Zach sounds like he knows he accidentally created Venice-adjacent’s favorite parkour website and hates himself for it every day.
The only moment that gave me pause was when Rory discussed not wanting to be “friends” with professional surfers because when he covered the Pipe contest for BeachGrit he sat in the bleachers for hours and it was boring.
I may be unpleasant but would have gladly told him that no one sits in the bleachers at Pipe especially not professional surfers or anyone even remotely related to professional surfing for that matter. Fun means crashing the various houses one by one and drinking their beers.
But to each his own, I suppose, and listen here to the rest!
The main reason I hate Zach Weisberg is his first ever surf writer assignment for er or ing was going on a fucking bike ride with praise the Laird fucking Hamilton on fucking triathlete bikes. Aside from Chas, very few people can write an article where I wish to have my time spent reading back and I only wished him a quick death in “the game” but Christ almighty he invents the fucking Inertia and Rory, who I thought was above that shit cuz he rides hi performance longboards, goes on to write for the Inertia and babbles with that astute fucking babbler as well. Who’d a thought. Next thing imma hear is Zach Weisberg shits apples or is changing his name to Zack. This guy represents a lot that is wrong with surfing.
Well I want my valtrex back at least.
“it’s a funny name”- Burt Reynolds
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I sing that theme song before every paddle out . Rider, Rocky , Rubble always save the day!!!??
Rorey vs Chaz MMA bout? Sign the paper.
i pass
What’s your cat’s name?
what’s the over/under on bong hits rory did during the intv? I heard about 8
Not going to listen but does Rory cover the aborted Pipe coverage for the Grit last year?
I’d love to hear the story of how that went down.
You want a plane ticket you sneaky dog
I would just as soon lick a cats ass than to throw any listen toward that waste of air and space. Nothing pleased me more than the day his stories quit showing up on the grit.
agreed…. i like Rory. but that was tough….. when my kids Nick jr. shows are enough to pull me away, something’s wrong…
Do they watch that ‘Adventure Time’ thing? For some reason I find that show immensely unsettling. I think it’s the long arms. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Haha!!! Yeah…. It scares the shit out of me also. …
All of the current cartoons are like a bizarre acid trip. Ever seen Gumball? I’m a caregiver and watch Cartoon Network all the time and I’m convinced every one there is frying balls producing their shows. Sure is entertaining!
Hello!?!……McFly!……Hello!?!…McFly!?!….. might I bring to your attention, Sean Volland and Robert Kelly Slater
Don’t summon the volland, all that happens is he goes thru the medicine cabinet drinks all my beer and passes out, every time.
Ehhhhh but let’s get reallllll honest here. Who doesn’t LOVE a good old fashioned circle jerk!? Dibs on being the skier!
Dibs on the cookie!!!
Sure but ain’t that must see TV?
Thats your game and sounds to me like he doesn’t want to play your game. Can’t blame him.. More interesting would be his wife’s side of the BG story interviewing you!
Perfect!
What ever happened to the first time he did a podcast with you? Did he just delete the file then say it didn’t record? Was he lying when he said he was upset it didn’t tape and he genuinely enjoyed the conversation with you?
David doesn’t fondle. Barely caresses
Nah, I definitely hear slurping.
Are you lost J.P. Currie?
Nah, mate. But everyone certainly knows where to find you. Just you keep trying though.
Rory is lame. Where is the story about raimana towing dan bilzerian onto a 3-foot wave in Tahiti? If thats not beachgrit news, I don’t know what is.
I need vid!
“I just started drinking coffee and it was crazy! Coffee is crazy!”
Who the fuck says shit like that! Zach is such a fucking dork!
I started doing coke and it was crazy! Cocaine is crazy!!
Who the fuck gets that excited about coffee
or even US coke? now if you’re down south where its cheaper than ganja..
I’m in Australia, so it’s basically laundry powder
same
that sucks .. move to america 1200 miles to Cartagena and marching powder freedom!!!!!!
Those cheeky smugglers MUST be able to jury-rig a sub to cross the Pacific with some primo shit… can’t be THAT hard. Damn slackers.
True. Maybe Rory is in Australia to,hence the excitement for coffee which admittedly is 3 times stronger than our coke
Blowkane is the new Marby Light
Well that’s because I put acid in the inertias water supply.
Oh you misunderstand! Rory not wanting to grow his listenership beyond what he has right now smacked of echo.
You risk becoming what you loathe. Like all of us I guess.
Wait… what do I loathe?
Not what. Who. Rory!
Rory was pretty good on our podcast – I was hungover so the interview was nothing special but I must admit I’d have him on again as a guest….
have you felt pressure to remove any rory statues or plaques?
I have only heard cries to build more!