John John Florence falls out of the WSL lead. Who is to blame?
Didn’t just last year John John Florence seem absolutely unbeatable? He had just won his first world title, earlier than many had predicted, by dominating all comers in any condition. He was master of the ledgy left, master of the piddly beach break, master of the full-bodied right, master of the air, master of the barrel, master of the open face, master of high intensity brawls and master of low intensity sleepers.
John John won his first world title and certainly a second would follow. Who could possibly stand in his way? Gabriel Medina?
Ha!
Jordy Smith?
Double ha!
Matt Wilkinson?
More ha ha ha has than exists in every single Silicon Valley episode to date! (Do you watch? You simply must!)
And then John John went and hired Ross Williams away from the World Surf League’s booth to be his coach. A smart move. Ross was always one of the best, delivering heat analysis on the fly that made 3/4 sense. He would definitely guide John John through the perils of a sophomore slump. He would provide just enough oomph and, like, ummm strategic advice.
And the year started fabulously. A 3rd at Snapper and a 1st at Mags and a 3rd at Bells. Oh the year was going to be a laugher and John John was going to have the title wrapped before we even got to re-fall in love with Rosie.
But then a 13th in Rio and a 13th in Fiji and a 5th at J-Bay waves custom made for John John’s turns and airs. Suddenly the yellow jersey was gone. But no problem right? Tahiti was next.
Teahupoo!
A wave built for his bulbous rear!
A wave invented for his thicker ankles!
Still. Pressure. He needed strategy in case the forecast was not 100% stellar. He needed his coach to be studied up, in a boat, throwing hand signs for where to sit, when to paddle, how to impress the judges.
But Ross Williams was not in a Teahupoo boat. He was staying instead at a luxury resort in the Maldives and surfing a Rob Machado shaped single fin, himself, against Shane Dorian, CJ Hobgood, Maya Gabeira, Rob Machado and Ismail Miglal in the most decadent competition on the planet.
The Four Seasons Maldives Surfing Champions Trophy.
Ross said:
This is the first time I have ever had Rob shape me boards, he shaped me two twin fins and a single fin. I surf a bit on twin fins but I haven’t surfed a lot of single fins. I learned on a Ken Bradshaw single when I was 8 and haven’t really had one since, I’ve only mucked around on them when hanging at Jack’s (Jack Johnson) house on the North Shore. I’ve surfed the single fin a few times now and it feels really good, it turns well and feels really smooth. I think it’s a great little board.
While John John got another 5th in Tahiti and lost the yellow jersey to Jordy “double ha” Smith.
Ross didn’t win either.
And do you think Ross William’s stock is higher or lower right now than Steve Bannon’s?
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Brother out in round 2!
I can’t figure out which version would be more fun to see. John John Fletcher or “JohnaTon Marley”
yeah I don’t understand why Jordy wears the yellow when those are the numbers that actually matter?
Umm this is a misleading picture, sadly. The two deducts don’t matter until there’s only one event left.
How many more 13th place finishes before we see John John Florence morph into John John Fletcher with a fabulous appetite for tattoos and 8balls
If you’re a betting man put some money on Seabass he’s paying $81 (Australian TAB)!
Happy to be proven wrong, Kolohe will do okay but will be lucky to make quarters. Seabass to win, big call! I’m calling Jules to win two in a row.
Brother ain’t got a chance at Trestles!
Does JJF have cankles? Please let him have cankles!
Aint no cankles on the Dream Tour, son.
Deep State
Jordy won Trestles last year when Finals Day was waist high and it completely sucked.
Ah a classic battle between a fact based approach vs unmitigated nonsense approach.
Fake news!
Hahahah just made my day
Waist high Trestles isn’t big and perfect? WTF, Do you mean that the WSL commentators have been bullshitting us?
Silicon Valley is fantasitc
If you are white and not communist!
I believe Simpo said it best on that tournotes; “Ross has the easiest job in the game”.
Genuinely curious… how much Kolohe used to pay Snips?
Whats Joel Tudor up to these days?
Ross’ ‘Ranked
1. Bob Ross
2. Betsy
3. Rick
4. Perot
5. Ross from Friends
6. Ross Williams
Ross Knight?
You’re out of the band.
3.5 Diana
Dya have to google the apostrophe plascement for that? Even after I google I still don’t understand 😞
It should be Ross’s
Ah u fkn commie
It is an apostrophe not a comma.
Spoken like a true commanist.
boom tish. very good, my dear sir.
Diehard ‘the Inertia’ fans shop at Ross where they ‘Dress for Less’ because yoga is so goddamn expensive.
Lululemons men’s ain’t cheap pal!
I prefer Prana
Single Fin?: Rossta
“Hey John John, I’m a bit beat from all these surfing holidays, do you mind if I take a surfing holiday?”
JJ won last year sans coach. Jules doesn’t have one.
Just sayin’.
Doesn’t the Venerable Bede count?
Bede Durbidge. Corrected Johnny’s approach to mid range heats, which set up his world title. This approach has gone adrift recently. JJF looks to me like he is surfing heats one of only two ways, either full bore/inspired or at a sort of 70-80% two-wave-theory pace. It’s like his heat learning curve has temporarily stalled. He’s not an obsessive like Kelly, he may need someone to keep kick starting his interest in learning in this area. I don’t think any pro surfer does this stuff on his/her own btw. Julian may not have a “coach” but man he has absorbed a LOT from a lot of people, not all of them in surfing.
Yeah, I did forget about Bede for a bit there. JJF just look completely interested unless it is 6′ plus, J Bay being an exception to that rule. He’s probably hoping to be in the mix and ready to fire at Pipe. Jules might even be trying to take in too much from too many. He might benefit from a singular voice in the ear, despite my uninformed ramblings.
Guess it just comes down to having two good opportunities per heat.
they are roughly eye-width apart
I don’t blame him, if there was ever a contest to miss and enjoy a first class trip to the Maldives, it’s Chopes or Pipe, and this event lined up with the former. Losing to Jordy at Teahupoo in a one-on-one heat was an anomaly; an outcome that I feel safe saying will never occur again.
nobody combines all technical and power surfing better than jordy. #bestvideoparts on earth, imo
nah, Dane or JJF on that Kustom airstrike and his Japan part in that one Kai Nev vid you still can’t find on youtube six years hence. or Dusty in Lost Atlas.
those aren’t my words, just quoting kelly moments after jjf won world title.
haaaaah, i forgot about that. my response is for Chief Metatarsal then.
ITunes
Do hash tags work on here?