When will the superlative deluge stop?
The world has demanded a third Laird Hamilton documentary and what the hell is wrong with us? Laird and Riding Giants were apparently not enough to fill our insatiable cravings. We needed Take Every Wave. A third bio-doc about Laird Hamilton truly and earnestly titled Take Every Wave.
Take Every Wave.
We begged for it.
The film is directed Robert Kennedy’s daughter. She, of course, a legend from a legendarily liberal family but somehow she has become swept up in the Trumpification of language.
Hyperbole.
A curse!
And come on. Are you not tired of everything being the biggest, greatest, grandest, estest? I am. I am exhausted by the never ending stream of superlatives that infect every bit of our media. Why can’t things just be ok? Why can’t they quietly be what they are? The superlative storm has rendered our speech meaningless. If everything is the greatest than nothing is.
Rory Kennedy.
Laird Hamilton.
They should both know better. Especially Rory Kennedy since she is a Kennedy.
Fucking hyperbole.
And would you like to read some hyperbolic statements from the Take Every Wave 1:30 trailer? Too bad.
Intensity no one has ever seen. Hawaii’s biggest swell in years. It’s the largest ever recorded. We heard it was undoable. It was just asking to die. Legendary surfer Laird Hamilton has pioneered the sport of riding huge waves. He was fearless. We all thought he was crazy. Laird would do these things that nobody had ever seen. He’s as radical as they come. Visionary. Laird completely redefined what it meant to be a surfer.
Yeah. Not one word of that is true. But if Laird Hamilton could fuck himself then we’d be on to something. Then we’d have a story.
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SUPing a foiling dirt bike
Seriously?
Chaz should not knock Rory Kennedy for being from a famous family since his mom is Cher.
Vomit
Me: “Chas talking shit about Laird again.”
My gf: “Chas? The Ellen guy?”
Near the end of last winter, I saw what appeared to be a seal, surfing a wave; as my vision focused, I saw that it was laird, body surfing. Everytime I see him in the water, he’s doing something mental. Although he’s a bit of a nut, you can’t deny he’s also a legend.
We’re all part of the tribe… youfuckingnerds
“Hey sorry mister!”
The article posted just before this one was literally called “Yemen: The World’s GREATEST Surf Town.”
Is writing that what made you tired of the bestest stuff?
Laird should check his damn ego. Last time I checked Gmac was the same age as laird but was still patrolling lineups from jaws to nazare to mavs on the biggest days, wrangling beasts on 11 foot guns. Meanwhile laird is burning everyone at Hanalei and claiming he is still a bulldog. Laird:toy poodle on a standup Gmac: bulldog on a gun l
but what does your wife think of Laird? Would he be a good client? Slight attraction?
Telling his SUP Barney army to “Take Every Wave” is a giant “Fuck You!” to every surfer on the planet.
Hey, Bicko…did a famous philosopher come up with ” If everything is the greatest then nothing is” first, or is Chas up for a Nobel?
I found this from an American business writer Pat Lencioni “If everything is important , then nothing is” .
Oh well, there goes the trip to Stockholm.
It’s 8 degrees and raining again , and 25 degrees and sunny in South West France . Perhaps we can give him the Prix Goncourt seeing as the poor bugger refuses the ugg boot
Rory “have you ever seen a shark?”
Laird “do you even menstruate bro?”
Laird is the closest thing to a cartoon superhero surfing has. That’s if superheroes sat around taking about themselves in the third person all day instead of fighting crime.
I know you meant “talking”, but “taking” works so much better in terms of Laird literally fucking himself. And in the third person no less!
My head just exploded.
I cant wait for the fourth movie in this trilogy
He’s pretty into Yoga, good chance he is fully capable of fucking himself. He’d be the greatest at fucking himself, tremendous, trust me.
Visionary? Laird is just tall enough to see most mortals’ nipple alignment.
The tom cruise of surfing
Laird bless.
What’s next Chaz, telling us Santa is not real or Chuck Norris is really a cross dresser? You are a buzz killing, hater.
I only care if I’m the haterest.
Can you guys interview Dave Chappelle and bring back the “Player Hater’s Ball?”
I still think “go” should be in that title. Lazy journalism
But that’s not what I’m positing. I’m positing that Laird can literally fuck himself (theoretically).
I totally get it now. No follow up,makes sense man.
Strapped In or Strapped On?
Strapped for cash?
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the peerless wonder of surf writing, Chas “The Marvel of Yellow Jounalism” Smith, and the greatest, most amazing, stupendously insightful, grand motherfucking article!…
Thank you. I am humbled by your never before seen insight into the boundless world of surf journalism.
You guys whacking it to a thesaurus again? I want in,but you know, only got my GED
A fellow GED alumni!
Yup if we had a reunion I’m sure we’d just look like the group of guys from South park yelling about how the educated “took our jerbs” lmao
or , WTF with,” Laird can fuck himself” , sensational stuff , but I wanted to read how he could fuck himself , was there a penis enlargement , or lengthening , anal writing , or..at least , How to Fuck ya self ?