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Uncovered: Love letters to Hawaii!

How much do you miss our ex-overlord WSL CEO Paul Speaker?

(Recent and uncovered correspondence from the World Surf League’s ex-CEO Paul Speaker!)

 

From the desk of Paul Speaker
Former CEO of the World Surf League

To: Hawaiian locals
c/o Ted’s Bakery, North Shore, Oahu, Hawaii

Aloha friends and honi ko’u ‘elemu to you all or as we mainlanders say, a very warm and sincere greetings.

Well, it is that time of year again, the Vans Triple Crown of Professional Surfing on Oahu’s North Shore and boy I just couldn’t be more excited. From the opening “hooter” of Hale’iwa to the final “bomb” at the Banzai Pipeline, the “seven-mile miracle” is the place for all true surfers to be and the place all surf enthusiasts dream about. This is our okole puka, our crowning achievement, and billions around the globe are watching thanks to you, the kanapapiki. The heart, soul and history of this our beloved sport. Us the Hawai’ian people.

These are exciting days to be sure and I am very humbled to have brought trillions of surf fans into the World Surf League fold. As some of you may have heard, however, I stepped down as Chief Executive Officer late last year. Oh it was an excruciating decision that took many thoughts and prayers from my family, the surf community and me but we all felt that professional surfing has been left in the best possible place with quadrillion fans waiting to “root” their favorite surfer.

I write today to let you know of my intentions of purchasing a house near Sunset Beach. My time in and around the “sport of kings” taught me that there is no better place, no wahine ho’okamakama, than your sacred land and my family and I will be honored to settle our heu lalo with you.

As it happens, I have heard from various groups through the “coconut wireless” that we are dissatisfied with the number of wildcards in the Pipeline Pro presented by Billabong and Honoring Andy Irons. Allow me to help. Since I will soon be a local it is my profound honor to surf in the opening rounds for our native island riding the traditional muli pala kukae. It is the very least I can do for all the mahalo you have shown me.

I look forward to “throwing shakas” with you all soon and until then, waiu oluheluhe or as we mainlanders say, live long and prosper.

Aloha,

“Braddah” P.S.

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19 Comments
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Otto

Pidgeon broke da mout’. Grinds fo’ real bruddah.

Sonny Joyce

Healing to your arm!

LongRichard

Pretty sure he’ll have a Defend Hawaii T Shirt on soon! Can you tell him where to buy one Chas?

Chas Smith

Please!

Nick Carroll

We should have a competition!!

Chas Smith

Let’s!

Otto

“Paul Speaker’s Grave Going Truths – How Chas Smith’s Resume Inspired the WSL Ambassador of Stoke and Leisure Stunt”

Nick Carroll

“Paul Speaker Addresses The Brazilian Nation Following Adriano’s World Championship”

Nick Carroll

“Paul Speaker’s Bedside Notes Regarding Samsung, 2016”

Nick Carroll

“Paul Speaker Plays Devil’s Advocate Prior To The WSL’s Purchase Of The KSWC”

Audit In Progress

“Paul Speaker Stands In Front Of A Mirror Practicing his Pronunciation Of ‘Teahupo’o’ Before His Appearance On Fox Business Channel”

PacificNorthPest

droll this one

Chazz Michael Michaels

Speaker’s Secret Shame: “The Day I Asked Julian Wilson For A Massage”.

Bleach'd Git

“Il nome della rosa”: a historical murder mystery set in the WSL’s Italian monastery.

Eddie Haiku

Kanaiaupuni Paul! That means bottom turn in the local dialect.

Otto

Paul has reportedly decreed by the overlordly power vested in him that he is a transracial who identifies as Hawai’ian. In celebration of his excellency, he has scheduled a traditional Speaker’ian of Hawai’ian ceremony which will include low fat Poi, BBQ’d pidgeon and free indigenous poka polka Haolewaiian dance lessons. Everyone is invited.

Karl Von Fanningstadt

“Don’t worry, I’m local(ish) beginning intermediate…”
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Sonny Joyce

Paul & the Commish writing off the dark square decal. P.K drops a 23 second skit Keiron bails..

Otto

Speaking of writing, Paul Speaker took to sky-writing in the clear blue skies above the Seven-Mile Miracle to announce his arrival on Oahu. https://uploads.disquscdn.c… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…


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