Forget that weird #vanlife!
My very first car was a three-on-the-tree 1960 Ford Falcon in Grabber blue. It was a fine car, though I had to learn the intricacies of clutch play while rolling backward down hills very quickly. My favorite car was either a 1972 MG Midget that would run out of gas lots because its gauges didn’t work but it was so little that I could easily push it OR a 1993 white Ford Bronco that may well have been O.J. Simpson’s. It caught fire in the Surfing magazine parking lot one blustery day and almost burned southern California to the ground.
But what about you? What is your favorite car? What car do you drive now? Do you dream of upgrading? What about to a custom surf wagon?
The car website Jalopnik posted this masterpiece a few days ago, which happens to be for sale in Hawaii, and made very much fun. Let’s read?
Wood paneled surf wagons from the late-40s and early-50s are undoubtedly cool. Mercury Sable station wagons are not cool. “But what if you combined them” you ask to the frightened man sitting next to you on the bus. He quickly looks away.
Some mastermind in Hawaii has an answer to that question on the form of an ill-advised $17,500 Craigslist purchase. That’s right, you can now buy your very own “50 TIN WOODIE SURF WOODY CUSTOM WAGON.” That’s two different spellings of “woody” for the price of one!
This… surf wagon(?) started life as a “NEWER MERC WAGON” and has been transformed into what looks to be a Ford from 1950 if you got hit in the head with a slow-pitch softball. The seller does not specify what wagon it came from but be assured that it “DRIVES SMOOTH AND CORRECT,,.” The 3.8-liter V6 appears to be out of a Mercury Sable wagon which ended production in 1995.
The owner of this nightmare version of a 1950s surf wagon states that it’s a great investment and that it won “LOT OF TROPHIES ON THE MAINLAND.” The ad also states that it has all the modern options. I don’t know what that means in this vehicle but I doubt it has lane-assist or radar-guided cruise control.
It might be a service to society to drive this wagon back into the ocean from whence it came.
Well? You in?
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2018 Range Rover Autobiography black on black on black. Call her the Underground Railroad. Jiu-Jitsu sticker, Monster Energy Sticker, emo techno beats on blast, surf racks always on to let the bros and the birds know that year I surf, rims and tires always shining like I’m from Scottsdale, AZ. Cardiff Life.
But what about NZ’s national car, the venerable Subaru Outback? Goes anywhere, comfy, roomy, and generally reliable.
I have a new one. 01.
Slightly less room in the back due to the enhanced Euro styling.
I feel invincible in it cruising the highway at 98 km/hr.
Are you Team Camry?
20ft RV. Priceless when I wake up in front of the spot.
On the day my dad gave me my first “woodie”, I cried myself to sleep.
Come on…
I never came!
My fav was a 5th (at least) hand Toyota Corolla that seemed to held together by its own shit-brown paint and the static from the plastic interior. I left it unlocked on the NS many times without any hassle. Wallet / keys untouched under seat.
I have the perfect surf vehicle. It’s a 2003 Dodge Caravan with 230,000 miles and all seats taken out. #minivanlife
I believe the PC term is #littlevanlife. We all know how sensitive those dwarf vans can get.
I’m 5’9 (aka Slater Tall) and am completely content with #littlevanlife! Thanks for keeping me up to date with what the kids are calling me.
I was a total fuckwit for running my Holden WB 253 V8 Ute into the ground, but I had plenty of fun doing it, at one stage a dope seed actually sprouted from within the passenger side woolen seat cover.
Commo station wagon.
Picked it up for a grand from a hot lil nurse in Byron.
Aircon so cold I d buy my cartons hot and chill em on the 10min drive home.
Was a tidy buy now the floors are knee deep in tins I ve lost 3 beugs and a quarter in there somehow and the roof lining droops onto my head like an old womans tits.
I ve put it on gumtree for $800 if anyones keen.
Ha! I rolled a VL wagon and the amount of shit I found once it was shaken up and left on it’s roof was incredible.
VL s were classic boge beach carpark lap machines mates dad bought him one for his first car at 17.
His folks went away for the weekend before he was legally allowed to drive it and sure enough we got lit and smashed it thru a full streets worth of letter boxs before it ended up on a curb with two wheels folded up under the chassis.
Called a mates older brother and towed the cunt down the beach and set it alight before the cops even got a sniff of it haha
The old switcherooney! Keys firmly sent out to the rip I imagine.
Even better. Old mate was an apprentice pool finisher, they’d be at the bottom of a flash pool somewhere between the Goldy and Mackay probs.
I had a vn wagon shitty gold. I used a stapler to staple the roof back up. You might get another 200$ if the roof looks nice.
Van are awesome! NOT to preen your image as a soulful neo-hippie bro from a Patagonia advertisement, or god forbid actually sleep in. But if you’re a short-fused baby who throws frustrated freak outs at the inconvenience of taking a wheel off a bike or nuancing a surfboard into a reclined front seat, you can’t beat with a fucking stick just flapping open a couple of barn doors, carelessly throwing all manner of large objects into all that cubic space, slam slam, drive away. I kick my dogs 85% less because a van copes with all of my oversized shit for me.
Plus the neighbors are nicer now that they can’t be 100% certain I’m not a serial killer
85% less! Gold!
Gold indeed. Before the van, my endless chain of worldly possessions gave me fits managing it all, led to existential angst, empty despair and anger. I also got a bigger house, and that helped a lot too. #buddhism
I have 3 surf wagons that I rotate through: suburban, sprinter van, and Hummer (h1) but I usually just walk to the end of the street or take my golf cart.
Very on-brand for you.
Golf carts are a beach neighborhood status symbol around here. Nothing says more than look at me and my family going to the beach. Well maybe a H1 with a surfboard on top..
True. At least I don’t own a Yeti cooler and a Benelli shotgun, both of which are ultra chic in my area.
Friend of mine lost finger from a Benelli misfire. Yet to loose a finger with my Yeti.
(👏👏👏👏👏👏) Golf clap.
Jeep Grand Wagoneer. Four wheel drive and power everything. And at 6000 pounds you merge with confidence.
’84, mid wheel base, (not a troopy, not a swb), if you want to put boards on the roof, you have to use soft racks because there are no gutter rails at the back and I can’t be arsed putting a cargo rack up there. No a/c, cruise control, radar assisted or otherwise.
Radio works but the cassette tape doesn’t. No cd. No aux. No point locking it, as there are plenty of other entry options, (although the one time I locked the keys in it, everything was shut. The RACQ guy said that these were one of the hardest cars to break into). Max speed is about 110km/h downhill with a tail wind. Fuel consumption is even less than what you expect of a brick shaped, very heavy thing. Repairs are generally cheap, although tyres are small truck size, so could feed a family for a year if you didn’t need them. (The tyres, not the family).
Any journeys longer than hour will necessitate an equivalent amount of deep tissue massage and/or traction.
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my Uncle had the Bundera same shape basically – was immaculate when he sold it plastic on the doors still!! wish he had kept it
Yeah, they’re a bit flashier than Algernon. Was looking at the front seat in one at a wreckers. Asked the bloke how much for the seat, he said “nah, I’m selling that one whole”. OK, how much for the ‘whole’ thing? “$4500”. The engine didn’t even run. It lasted about a week…
I had a beautiful ‘69 mercedes 270. Loved that car, although I felt a bit like Rommel the desert rat when checking the surf
Had Holden Hg wagon – absolute piece of shit. Then proceeded to buy black sandman holden v8 – lasted 6 hrs as my mum said I was disowned managed to sell to the other interested party the same day!!
Then while at uni drove a Honda civic 1976 roundback that cost me 15 to fill with front seat down could fit 3 boards and would drive up coast sitting on 110 -115 was awesome car
Troopy. End of discussion.
And if you say Kombi you deserve a brick to the face
Or Cruiser flat tray. Depends how much your dog stinks.
Tray back cruiser is my all time favourite car
I dunno but I like that image of frightening a man on a bus.
Nick just announced 20% of GoPro’s staff are being gifted YouGoes.
On my third Volvo 240 wagon. Had one well before Dane. Current 93 wagon is the last year they were made, Swedish built, safe, crazy reliable bought it for $2500 years ago and now my 17 year old is helming the wheel. Can’t go wrong!