What's not to love?
And the rumors keep flying, fast and furious, from Jan Juc, Australia. Home to the historically significant Bells Beach Classic presented in association with Rip Curl and the Pyongyang Labor Group*. Yesterday, it was revealed right here that the contest would likely run two days after the official first day. And while those extra two days may not mean much to you, just think of the family from Albion Park all packed into the Holden and ready to go. This insider knowledge means the difference between a pleasant time and jail time (for stealing street signs due boredom).
Well buckle up because I’ve got more. A new, very top secret source. The World Surf League may be planning to run the overlapping heat structure during rounds 2 and 3. The source tells me that water safety at the event usually runs three skis and has one as a backup. Apparently they are scrambling for four more skis right this minute.
Are you local? Do you have one? Now’s the time to fleece!
And it certainly does seem like this 2018 season is experimental, doesn’t it? No Hawaii. Two tank events. Overlapping heats at Bells. Etc.
I am actually a big fan of the overlapping heat structure and don’t know why the WSL doesn’t run it for every event especially if/when there is swell. The more surfing the better is something I always say and overlapping heats gives us… more. I’m more curious to know if anyone doesn’t like it? And if so why not? The shortening of an event is good. More surfing is good. Getting though Michel Bourez vs. Michael Rodrigues without really having to watch Michel Bourz vs. Michael Rodrigues is good.
So what’s bad?
*The Pyongyang Labor Group offers cost-effective solutions in an interconnected world. The North Korean slaves are hand-picked for their efficiency and skill with malnourished fingers the perfect size to guide drawstrings though boardshorts. Rip Curl approved!
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What are overlapping heats?
Last paragraph is as filthy and beautiful as blood diamonds
Aah I get it now. Chas writes shit about Mick Fanning. Mick gets offended and calls Chas a !#$%!#$ Jew. Chas gets offended and cries to MSM. Rip Curl pull advertising. Mick issues grovelling apology. Chas calls Mick a hunchback and slags off Rip Curl at any chance. Is this what being a “Bright, hyper-ironic surf journalist, author, and bon vivant” entails or are you just bitter AF?
No, it’s because Rip Curl actually got busted for some clothes being made in slave labor camps in North Korea. Shit is fucked up.
tempting
This “source” is an itch I cant bear anymore. Given that it is “very top secrete”, is your insider the one and only WSL CEO? Are you and Sophie sitting in cafes/parking lots smoking ciggies leaking information for envelopes of cash?
Close. Meeting in women’s sections of middle-high end department stores trying on gender neutral loafers for tickets to NY fashion week.
Overlapping man on man at Bells or overlapping man on man in some seedy motel room? Tough call.
does it have to be in a motel? why not do the man-on-man along the great ocean road dunes? it’s all natural, so show it in a natural environment.
This obviously begs the question…power surfer? Or power bottom?
Gives new meaning to doing ‘man turns’
i just hope they have plenty of lube.
Plenty of lubrication and plenty of communication.
Joe Turpel’s voice is like verbal lubricant, loosening the tension when someone ‘links a major maneuver’ in the man on man.
Do you mean tube?…
Most definitely mean lube, such as KY, but if u want to use a tube. Hey, what happens in the privacy of one’s home between consenting adults is fine by me.
I want to see Strider and Rosie reporting from Wiggs tinnie while he and his missus fish for Kingies, all the while smashing VBs and dodging rogue sets!!! Because we told going to be swell right??
Tomorrow: one of the CT seeds is transgender! Saturday: cute puppies to replace half of commentary panel!!
Oooh….I LOVE puppies!
Don’t talk shit about M Rod. Guy is exciting and unpredictable.
Lil’ Kim was Beijing yesterday and he knows his days in power are numbers so he wants to see shit get done before he’s exiled to Trenton, NJ.
Overlapping heats are interesting with only 3 judges and as such all 3 scores counting for each wave. Worked great for JJ at Pipe in round 3 .EE needs a 4.67 and gets 4.8 4.8 and ouch 4.2 . Comes in at a 4.6 and hello world title 2 JJ in one of those « you’ve really got to beat the champ to beat the champ » moments possibly made famous by Pottz commentating a Final won by Kelly over Phil McDonald at Trestles all those years ago .
Perhaps you can script ‘this’..
Well deserving champ. Just seems strange to do away with the 5 man judging system, where the highest score and lowest score are discarded,for the final event of the year . Surely there are 4 more WSL judges available to make up two teams of 5 especially in Hawaii after the 2 QS 10000 events .
Rev up the ski Wiggs, you’re out there!
Bungalow rental + ski rental + contraband = $$$!
They should also do overlapping commentators for every heat. A 4 channel audio psychobabble mashup of Turp, Ronnie, The Condor and 89 World Champ Martin Potter.
They should overlap the commentary with white noise.
White privelege?
Chas keeps saying that there’s no Hawaii this year, even though there is. I’m confused – is he misinformed, or just on a troll roll?
Upvote for “troll roll”
Confused and high
They should do this in every event where conditions allow! Thankfully they scrapped the non loser round 3!
Round 4 is non-loser-ish. (Unless you’re being sarcastic in which case I missed it and you want all non loser rounds eliminated which I’m not in agreement with)
Sorry, yes I meant round 4, not 3, but this year the third places surfer in each heat of round 4 is out of the competition!
So number 3 in 4 is OUT! 🙂
Round 4 for the women