Days after the supposed "double-overhead" swell hits!
This morning, when the sun comes up over the sleepy town of Torquay, Australia the official window for the Bells Beach Classic, presented in association with Rip Curl and Kim Jong Un will be open. Professional surfing is back! Did you miss its absence? Julian Wilson won the season’s kickoff event just up the Gold Coast less than two weeks ago but it feels like a short lifetime ago. It’s a funny thing about professional surfing. It seems like it’s always here but also, and at the same time, never here. Some event always starting soon but no event ever running now.
I suppose this has to do with surfing’s unique playing field. Until all competition is moved into pools then we will be stuck in this limbo and the World Surf League will be there jerking our chain.
Take the Bells Beach Classic, presented in Association with Rip Curl and Kim Yo-jong. The waiting period begins today (Australia time) and the League says good swell on the way for tomorrow (also Australia time), posting a bold Surfline prediction on their landing page.
From Surfline Lead Forecast Kevin Wallis: A series of swells are expected, starting March 29 — the second day of the event window — including waves up to double-overhead.
But BeachGrit’s man on the ground says this is a bald-faced lie. That the event isn’t likely to start until Friday. Now, this is, theoretically just fine for those organizing the event. Friday is Good Friday and a fine time for the opening day of a surf competition. Bells, if you recall, is a ticketed event and all that money pouring into Rip Curl’s coffers will be very welcome in the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea. Production orders of slave-stitched Rip Curl boardshorts can be doubled.
But for the stay-at-home fan, these days with a surf professional surf competition without professional surfing are tedious. Troubling even. Anticipation every single morning finally blunted by the World Surf League’s Live with Kieren Perrow show. Him standing their, wet hair’d, saying, “Ahhhh yeah. We got a little bit too much south in it so we’re waiting for the tide to drop which it might do in a couple hours here…” etc.
Day after day after day of Kieren Perrow.
The World Surf League overlords rejoicing over web traffic spikes as the masses, buoyed by false hope, click for Kieren.
Well, it’s not starting until Friday, says our man on the ground, so tamp down your expectations. There will be no escape from your mundanity until this weekend. None whatsoever.
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Mattysez,
You do know that we are gonna be watchin’ The Australian leg of the tour, right?
Makes sense to share some Australian music,
as I did by bustin’ out some old school ’60’s with The EasyBeats!
Heck,
do some research, 1 of the brothers of the Boyz who started AC/DC is in that old ’60’s band. Listen to it a few times, it gets in your head, go surf with ‘Friday on My Mind’ ,
as I have and hit that lip, f^^^in’ hard, bro!
Me,
I’m just another old school American ‘Seppo” err ‘A Wanker’ as Occy
used to call us back in the day when he, IIRC, had a dildo in his jacket,
hahahha…
UMGAWA!!!
More Aussie Music!
The Hoodoo Gurus:
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
There are no such things as North Korean Pro, only Pro-Am. Get your facts right.
Whichever way he stands, or sits, his arms are extended way the fuck out there’s like he’s walking a tightrope or something.
Great photo of KP!
but do you agree the game itself used to be better? maybe you’re a lot younger than me. but back when running backs were the big stars (dorsett, payton, emmittt smith, marcus allen) the game went faster, it felt more exciting, there were more personalities. now its pass pass pass, every play gets reviewed, everyone’s basically anonymous except for one or two white quarterbacks and each game takes 4 1/2 hours. boring.
Well, it is easter and to be honest I dont mind. Let the swell take its time. I will be roasting a lamb on a spit for sunday, so that gives me two days of surfing and then sunday, I can sit back drink beer, watching the lamb rotate and periodically looking at the comp. It’s Bell’s and who knows there just might be the 50 year storm. https://www.youtube.com/wat…
have not tested! it appeared at my house for free. if only surfboards did the same…
The scoop of the day!
The North Korean Pro, in memory of MP has always started on Good Friday! Good grief!
I just wish the cunts would stick to a constant time zone, maybe GMT? Isn’t that the international standard?
It’s gotten to the point where I have a world clock on my phone for every stop…. I don’t want someone to think that I actually care that fucking much
If your man on the ground is not Wiggs being a mexican local, then your doing yourselves a great disservice!!! What is his call on start date swell wise??
the interesting aspect is the anonymity of this “man on the ground”. why does he have no name? Is Chas feeling sad that this is Fannings last comp in Oz and he is at Bells?
If the WSL really is in danger of folding up shop at the end of the year, I would pony up a few bucks to pay for the webcast. Until then, none chance.
Is that a Dane Reynolds painting behind him?
Saw a funny thing this am after an ad for Laird’s Superfood broadcasted through my speakers. Turns out, they flipped the photo and made Laird appear as a goofyfoot on all the packages! How does something like this happen? When Laird lends his name for a fee, and nothing else.
cause the target market has no fucking idea how he stands?
Laird sits
You’re right! But he’s regular foot in the logo. I have some samples of that stuff sitting here. Perhaps I should do a product review!
Friday, huh?
Well then, bring it on!
Friday on My Mind!
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
It looks like a well aged kolohe?
How has no one ever noticed this?!
conspiracy!
“It”?? are you saying Kieran is a
A- Robot
B- Lizard man
C- Transgender
D- Other
Being PC dude… But “B” is possible.
I was hoping you would say – D. Then we could have get Mulder & Scully in to investigate who is this man called Kieran.
All of the above. He’s actually a dead ringer to a methed out tweaker that lives in the town I grew up in. The resemblance is uncanny
I wonder if the comp gets better viewership when it runs during the week because office drones like myself can watch/listen to the whole thing in a window. Captive audience. Weekend you have to compete with shit that is actually fun.
I have argued this MANY times. During a work day I find surf comps a spectacular distraction…even welcoming the inanity of the Boys in the Booth™ and quickly hitting alt-tab as soon as the lovely Rosie begins asking pointless questions of our heat winners and Kelly Slater.
The NFL’s success is, in part, owed to its disdain of the fan in the stands. What else could explain making people sit outside in Green Bay on a Saturday night in January when the temperature is -5F?
But we all know that keeping people’s attention to a web cast for eight hours is nearly impossible.
Very interesting point…..
If you require any notes or free character assessments for your article on the Bells comp I’m available. Contact me at [email protected]
Wiggs I’m here at Bells, so show your fucking face. PS: This contest will start when I say it’ll start and not a minute earlier.
Tomorrow, Nick you Cunt. I gotta work today. Let’s have a dart and discuss our differences.
the NFLs success is owed almost entirely to gambling. the quasi-legal form known as “fantasy” football, and then the regular sports books. remove that from the equation and it becomes less popular than hockey.
totally with you re: watching surf contests at work. best!
Yes! You’re absolutely correct…gambling and fantasy are a huge part of their success.
“What else could explain making people sit outside in Green Bay on a Saturday night in January when the temperature is -5F?” – have you ever been Green Bay? not much happens on a saturday night for those folks
Cheese on the brain ?
Ha! I’ve been to Appleton a dozen times and just flew out of Green Bay two weeks ago so I know exactly what you’re talking about.
But they had a Super Bowl outside in New York and the Patriots regularly play night games in January so it’s not just Wisconsin.
My office disabled videos 🙁
There’s no fucking way you work in an office.
Mompreneurship. its a thing now. don’t ever tell them or their tax preparer that second bedroom isn’t an “office”
We should all be very afraid if Wigs works for the Tax department.
Racist cunt.
The devil playing the race card. Where’s your pride lord of the underworld?
The dark prince is half Somalian half goat in case you were wondering.
C,mon out with it.
YOU were the Nigerian prince email scammer !
Now turned rental property magnate.
Are you calling me a skinny?
I’m unsure of the term, “skinny”
Fatty, might be more like what I’m imagining 🙂
Not obese, but umm, roundish
vpn, my brother.
Dude,
it’s sometimes funny to read your insults regarding cheap overseas labor.
I mean, aren’t you the dudes who do not pay the writers or pay for editorial usage when you run a photo to headline your newest article? Heck, i seem to remember that you posted a pic awhile back of you doing a soft~cutback from waaaay out on the shoulder, with The Photogs watermark still on it? Did ya pay the gal for her time, equipment, etc.? Doubt it. Cheap, Cheap, Cheap(?)
What lens did you use to take the dramatic photo of him waaaay out on the shoulder?
Wasn’t me that took his soft~cutback photo,
but IIRC, it was some chic photog that probably likes to get paid, anything, anything, anything for her art or her work! Don’t you?
I seem to recall the story CS wrote was a couple of years ago, his image was up top, front +center, here is kooky Chas, waaaay out on The Shoulder, tryin’ to cut it back, and the photogs watermark is seen across the image. Feel free to dig it up + repost it, ok?
This was, I’a think,
back when Rory still wrote here, before apparently bailing, for lack of any kinda paycheck. But hey, let’s do it, cheap, cheap, cheap…
Hi. Just to set the record straight here, Derek and I are the only ones who don’t get paid. Derek I and that girl who took a photo of me surfing.
And me! Don’t forget me.
Nick too! But he already rich.
Still waiting on the reason the Sophie Hellyer story was pulled… Very unlike BG.
Also, your e-mail is giving bouncebacks saying your mailfolder is full.
who is sophie hellyeah?
Pom surfer who twisted off about sexism in surfing. She even came to the comments section and cried.
What bastards! Emailing you now.
Can you let us all know Chas ?
I presume a threatening email from a law firm in pongolia – (wild stab in dark.)
I’m genuinely interested. I’m sure we all are.
I mean comments from filthy trolls ahem, like myself are one thing.
Articles that cast fud, aspersions and downright lies are another and could have serious implications. I guess only ol Rupert and his crew can get away with that – you know, serious journalism ….
Should we start a hash tag movement?
#And me! Don’t forget me
Go pay that girl! In US Dollars!
unless someone can compose a photo to give the illusion that chas rips, she don’t get paid!!
I see, so is Chas the Kim kardashian of surf journalists and Ashton is Caitlin/Bruce Jenner?
Perez Hilton is his angle surely. I think it’s even in his eos bio.
I wish!
If Chas were a kardashian he’d be kris, the mom/manager.
Ashton would be Paris Hilton.
(Don’t forget- Bruce used to be an Olympic champion. And a star on CHiPS. Can’t see he/she calling the cops over some nipple twisting)
That wasn’t surfing Chas.
Poor Derek cant even afford shoes…
And which Stab staffer’s girlfriend are you again?
Some staffers’ g/f?
Pfffft. F^^^in’ kook, hahaha.
……………………………………
Beachgrit would love to go from Cheap, cheap, cheap to Expensive, expensive, expensive… Do you have a pathway to the cash that we could follow? very open to ideas and donations even, from potential sugar Daddies or anyone thats always wanted a writer as a “friend”
Bunch of guys on instagram do!
They’re probably fit and good looking though…
Comes with the* territory I suppose.
I don’t mind attaching a Go-pro to my forehead and throwing down savage fully sick double armed shaka’s all year long if means @Nick Carroll (Disqus):disqus gets a cheque from Beachgrit.
You mean Nik Karol surely?
Patreon
You could transform beachgrit into a religion . The best way to get money for nothing
(avoid paying tax)and your choirboys for free . Amen 🙏🏽. Just a couple of miracles and before you know it Bobs (Hawke’)your Aunty or cash cow.
Amen and hell yeah!
https://www.bing.com/videos…
Hallelujah ,raise your hands up in the air and don’t forget the high blood pressure thrills and spills of speaking in tongues as the Holy Spirit goes MMA on the demons in your soul .
Yep thinking doing that too ( i live in a “born again” area!!) need 10 maybe followers and can yep skip tax probably write my house off as church etc
A collegue once invited me to one of those crazy evangelists churches and out of respect after a nice day of surfing I went along . Fucking hilarious . They had a guy from the states who was there to sell and bless his book titled “ How Jesus can solve your economic problems “ . I am still rolling on the ground laughing in disbelief 30 years later .
sell an AirBNB “experience”.
hang out with derek in bondi coffee shops!
go shoe shopping with chas in dubai!
go to a surf contest and watch longtom write about it in the pub afterwards.
I could stalk people in real life instead of online!
“Go shoe shopping with Chas”! Ha!
I remember reading an article a long time ago about how somebody said that Donovan Frankenreiter was horrible to travel with because he always bought clothes at thrift stores everywhere he went, so he always had a shit ton of luggage and suitcases for all his “vintage” clothes. This makes me wonder what it would be like to travel with Chas? A mountain of suitcases everywhere he goes? It might be like being with Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City.
Chas could sell his virginity to a Russian Oligarch, seems to be the way for a pretty young thing to get ahead these days. That’s ahead Wigs, not a head…
I thought Chas was keeping that for prison?
It’s gonna sting!
Ooohhh I know – sell your soul to to pimple face Zuck !
Betcha ol Ziff was working on that for awhile.
You guys need to schmooze the big fish!
And failing that – there’s always lotto …
jeez , you make her sound like Robert Mapplethorpe with those watermarks