Leading action sport drink gets political!
Branding and marketing are both funny exercises, don’t you think? For every iconic Nike “Just Do It” or Apple “Think Different” there is a soap commercial featuring a black woman washing with Dove until she becomes perfectly white…
…or McDonald’s featuring a boy wanting sex with a double cheeseburger.
Oh I completely understand. It is a rough business always trying to pry into the subconscious and affect purchasing decisions but Monster Energy drink has outdone them all with its latest Monster Energy Assault.
Remember, we live in the day and age of gun violence and unwanted sexual aggression. “Assault” might have been a… not great decision in the first place but the Monster marketing department doubled down by adding a short novel to the can. Would you like to read? Well duh!
At Monster we don’t get too hung up on politics. We’re not for “the War”, against “the War” or any war for that matter. We put the “camo” pattern on our new Monster Assault can because we think it looks cool. Plus it helps fire us up to fight the big multi-national companies who dominate the beverage business. We’ll leave the politics to the politicians and just keep doing what we do best — make the meanest energy drinks on the planet! Declare war on the ordinary! Grab a Monster Assault and VIVA LA REVOLUTION!
Ok first I thought Monster was against any war so why are they declaring one on “the ordinary” and “big multi-national companies who dominate the beverage business”? Second, Monster Energy is distributed by Coca-Cola. Third, what the hell is “the War”? Why is “the” lowercase and “War” capitalized?
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war against hypocrisy. Lost since a while.
“Coca-Cola owns 16.7% of the Monster Beverage Corporation, which it
purchased in 2015 for approximately $2.15 billion. In addition to the
equity stake, both companies have entered into a strategic partnership
related to business transfers and expanded global distribution.
Coca-Cola transferred ownership of all of its worldwide energy
businesses including NOS, Full Throttle and nine smaller brands to
Monster. Monster transferred all of its non-energy drink businesses to
Coca-Cola, including Hansen’s natural sodas, Peace Tea, Hubert’s
Lemonade, and Hansen’s juice products” (investopedia)
don’t get me started on “micro/craft” beer
I wanna hear , let her rip!!
…and there’s a tad of dissonance when a company called “Monster” tries to identify as a corporate underdog.
So we can assume Chaz was drinking Monster Assault + Vodka. What would the name of that drink be? Arrhythmia on the rocks?
Absolute. – Mexico surf doc ThouTube
Never sipped one of the genre. – Maybe Red Bull if it was a chewing tabacco i mean Red Man
Their methics are questionable to say the least
You can admire others and still recognise their flaws. My advice is never meet your heroes and don’t drink their shit beers, Matty.
‘Nah honestly, it’s ale!’ -Taj Burrow
Well shit, I was gonna go down a meet Chas at Boardroom show too.
How do energy drink sponsored athletes sleep knowing that they are flogging shitty caffeine filled sugar water to kids? On nice, expensive mattresses I’m sure.
I buy Monster in bulk. Then I dry it out in my Inland Empire secret lab. Then I mix it with cocoa paste and place it under a heat lamp. Then I package it and sell it to middle school kids. Then I move to Laguna Beach and hang with Michael Thompson and score Orange County 8’s at Javier’s.
holy fuck, best i’ve ever read
Orange County 8 – Hard faced, divorced blonde with dancers legs? That’s been my experience. Not complaining mind you…
Divorced, bleached hair, C-Section scar, lower back tattoo, smells of Parliament Lights, drives used BMW, lives in Ladera Ranch, sells workout supplements on the side, makes duck lips face in social media photos, dabbles in stimulants….
That’s what you can call a business plan!
Michael can get OC 8’s? Not to shabby. Guess shaun gets the 9’s.
To me, it seems they nailed it, for their perceived audience/users, that actually reads the can. It also reminds me that a lot of humans are stupid and will believe anything they’re told.
I just want to know when Darwin catches up with that tattooed clown above who is assaulting my senses?
An assault on basic logic, intelligence and the ability to gain employment all in in one!
I really wished it was misspelled. That would be perfecto.
No ragets
Poor cunt is obviously mentally ill, whoever did the tattoo should be sent to prison!
I think prison is the only place you can get one.
Agreed!
Monster Energy gives me diarrhea.
A dedicated user goes past brown undies territory straight to prolapsed arse pipe town
Hahahaaa .
The fucktard apocalypse is what it seems.
Big pharma coconut water, fucking posers. I ONLY eat at wahoos. Srf2liv
Ever notice how no one intelligent or remotely well off consumes energy drinks?
Also, I just wanted to be the first to comment
Ever notice how no one intelligent or remotely fond of the taste of beer consumes Balter? It tastes like fruit punch spiked by Parko’s prolapsed rosebud. Mick also gets paid to drink Red Bull. Your theory is confirmed!
Why they didnt name it ‘Batler’ is beyond me.
When they go broke we can buy the company for $50 and rename it.
Holy shit I literally tried my first one tonight, why I don’t know. Novelty? maybe to ensure Mick would not go without since he retired, and yep fruit punch- on tap. I feel dmber, dubber, dumreer – dumber for sure!!!
Although I was loath to try it, the Balter I had was way better than the Stone and Wood Pacific Ale.
Still, fucking stupid name.
Both are shit, Ando. Have a Carlton.
I just drink Purps. Stuff will make you bald and kinda funny.
apart from the Moto-x guys, I don’t think anyone who rides for the energy drinks actually consumes it,
except for the 2000mg red bull syrup you can get in indo, you gotta try that just see how much it fucks you up.
Yeah get the syrup and about 10 cold and flu tablets in ya. Fucken great.