"Fuck bottled water!" say eco-warrior surf fans.
Hell hath no fury like a surf fan whose environmental conscience has been pricked.
Yesterday, the surfer-who-retired-too-early, Taj Burrow, along with Jack Freestone and Taylor Knox, posted an innocuous enough giveaway on his Instagram feed offering a dozen bottles of his company Villager’s “Electrolyte Enhanced PH Water.”
Now unless you’re really fucking stupid, you know that bottled water, and especially “enhanced water” is bullshit. A tax on the dumb.
Who else pays three bucks, or five, for a bottle of magic water that costs five cents to make? (Water out of the tap, which makes up most of bottled waters is one cent a litre or a cent-and-a-bit for a quart.)
As was reported by Men’s Health in a story called, “Sorry, but alkaline water isn’t actually good for you,”
Enter a new crop of “enhanced waters” that claim to offer more health benefits and hydrate you more than plain old H2O. These electrolyte-enhanced, vitamin-boosted super waters might sound great on the surface, but when you dig a little deeper, the science gets a bit murky.
According to the experts, most enhanced H2O just doesn’t live up to the hype. “You’re better off saving your money and sticking to tap water,” says Alissa Rumsey R.D., C.S.C.S., an expert in fueling athletic performance.
But selling it don’t make you a bad guy. A smart capitalist, yes.
Anyway, the three well-liked surfers threw the post up and…oowee… out came the eco-surfer warriors swinging. From some of Taj’s 320,000 followers.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BiLAlInBVez/?hl=en&taken-by=tajamos
tommy_nails Sad to see you guys pushing such an environmentally harmful product.
cutbackwal Shit, more plastic bottles 👎👎👎
futureselff Love your work taj but can’t believe so many pro surfers are involved in the single use plastic bottled water business … what the?
futureselff Just a heads up to everyone that bottled water (glass or plastic ) is 1000 times more expensive than water out of a tap… the catch is that half the bottled water being sold actually comes from the tap 🤦♂️
spencerrundo Really? A surfer pushing plastic products? Shame.
deerjames Boooo
shannon66s Bad idea
neillmcwill I’m all good. Got a tap
surfarcade ALOT OF PLASTIC
c_0llemanz A life living from surfing, and you go and indorse this product, plastic wrapped in f@&King plastic, way to go @tajamos
m4rkm4c Might be healthy for humans but not the environment @villagergoods. Biodegradable packaging a must!
danielrobertjames1 Fuck bottled water.
mrpaulwyatt Just had a great week surfing the Maldives.. so many plastic bottles there now all over the beach and ocean 🌊😕
The heat was a little too much for Freestone. His post was quickly disappeared.
Taylor Knox’s fans, meanwhile, were, to a person, uniformly pleased by the contest.
An age thing?
https://www.instagram.com/p/BiKSRIPnwfr/?hl=en&taken-by=taylor_knox
Of course, this Villager giveaway ain’t the worst marketing fail of all-time.
i read a recent article, which stated that paper towels are doing more damage than those plastics, then there is the sunscreen for those who are genetically challenged dermatologically due to a lack of melanin. From my non-scientific google desktop investigation, the sharks are attacking humans in order to reduce the amount of sunscreen being washed onto the reef systems throughout the world. In the end, there is an unfortunate number of keyboard warriors who are too quick to attack a few retired surfers who are just attempting to make a buck, but missed the boat on opening up a brewery.
Hahaha, such a kook move. And Jack did NOT retire too early, TAJ about right and Knoz too late.
Careful or TB will get his fuckhead posse to hassle you out.
“Hey Potz, isn’t it funny when a brand starts and has this whole ideological ethos of green sustainable anti energy drink and is endorsed by guys who make movie about plastic in the ocean and then they do this, because in the end every one is fucking full of shit and only cares about money, green, cash, dolla dolla bills? Which made me think of a great joke, wanna hear it”?
“Sure do, Joe,” Says Potz
Ok
“A young boy and his grandfather went fishing one afternoon, after a couple of hours of fishing, the grandfather opened a can of beer, the grandson noticed and asked, “Grandpa, can I have a sip of your beer?” His grandfather looked at him and said, “Grandson, Is your penis long enough to touch your ass?” The grandson replied, “No!”
“Then you’re not old enough.”, said the grandfather.
A couple of more hours went by, and the grandfather lit a cigarette. Again the grandson noticed and asked, “Grandpa, can I have a cigarette”? The grandfather replied, “Is your penis long enough to touch your asshole?” Again the grandson replied, “No!”
“Well you’re not big enough to smoke yet.”, said the grandfather.
About an hour had passed and it began to get late, so the grandfather decided to pack it up and head for home. On their way home they stopped at a store, grandpa bought two lottery tickets and gave his grandson one. Grandpa scratched his off, but didn’t win anything, The grandson scratched his off and won $10,000. Grandpa was all happy and surprised that his grandson had won and he asked, “Are you going to give some of that money to grandpa?” The boy looked at him and replied, “Grandpa, is your penis big enough to touch your ass?” Grandpa looked at him for a moment, then replied, “YES!”
“Good, then go fuck yourself!”, said the grandson.
Almost everything we do as modern humans is bad for Mother Earth but water bottles are just over the top F-U’s to the ocean. And it doesn’t surprise me that old fart Taylor or the two seemingly “jock” idiots Taj and Jack would be so dumb as to try to market disposable plastic water bottles. They’ve exposed themselves as f-ing clueless ignoramuses but I bet they’re fun to hangout with.
Maybe it’s tax time in Australia? And poor old Taylor may had trouble with real estates or something… Those guys needed money. What amazes me is the fact that somebody seeing the instagram of Burrow or Knox would obey! And that a brand could think that it was a good idea…
Mother Earth? You one stupid millennial. Am I right or am I right?
You don’t need to be a genius to see the huge trash piles floating off Big Island or to google “micro plastic effects on sea life,” or to see plastic in the belly of a fish you caught. You get em?
I don’t think there is such thing as “Taylor Knox fans”. His close family, maybe? A couple of debtors?
As the bitchy crab said, he deleted the unfavourable commentary, the only one. Could be his neighbor or an ex…
I am a Taylor fan since Momentum 2!
The water sucks though. Just get a filter on the tap. Single use plastic has got to go
So you don’t owe him money?
I don’t discuss that, but this movie is 25 years old or something, you’re not a young fan ready to do what this guy is telling you to do on instagram, are you? And neither will most of those guys knowing the very existence or Taylor Knox. At least, I hope so…
Lol
Knox is great but not as great as single use plastic bottles…but it’s close….I love ’em both.
Alkaline water is horseshit. At least the coconut stuff has some flavor.
Are TK supporters (I.E upper middle class souther californian 40 year olds much more stupid than Australians who have called bullshit on their heroes?? Or just uneducated? Or is it apathy?
As has recently been pointed out to me, here and via IG DM, Mr Knox deleted unfavourable commentary.
Winner pays postage and taxes.
“World’s stingiest giveaway backfires” should have been the headline!
So TB & Jack get toasted but Mr T Knox gets nil, none, zilch negatory comments … not a chance! Methinks (nay, knows!) the old fox is busy deleting those pesky Insty commenters
I’m so naive, I thought all his fans were over-forties who couldn’t give a fuck about the state of the world.
Oh Desmond, snookered again! But TK’s a fair guy, he accepted my Insty comp entry. I’ve tagged a few pals (Al Gore, various eco-warrior celebs etc) so I’m in with a chance for the H2O!
The over 40 crowd has been around long enough to know that in the scheme of things plastic bottles don’t register.
Second place wins two cases. And some air
But such a generous giveaway!!! … 12 whole bottles … of water!!!
12 bongs though.
Very useful! I was introduced to coners about 15 years ago in **** by some Aussie pals. MacGyver game right there
I saw a bong made out of a banana a few years back and thought I’d seen it all but with every new year I continue to be impressed by the ingenuity of mankind.
That’s some positive thinking !
12 mini gravities, bring back the full gravity bong things fucking almost killed potz in the 90’s
It’s like Purps but better! Instead of half a pack of coolaide mix they put in just a pinch.
Maybe if I was Somalian I’d be excited about a fucken 12 pack of bottled water for a minute. But then I’d probably go back to more exciting stuff like raping my 9 wives.
Wait… your not Somalian?!
Who fucken knows mate.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Villager……………teeheheheheheheheh
It’s where they wash up!
Why are so many retired pro surfers flogging beverages to the great unwashed? Surely there are bigger financial rewards in selling drugs or Bitcoin?
Or shark repellents?
Coz they’re basically muppets, mate.
Had smoke blown up their arses their whole lives.
I wonder what what the soul surfers of past would think of these “tag three friends and enter to win some useless piece of crap” instagram surfers?
Not that I was a soul surfer, just a normal cunt who started surfing in the early 70s
I think just the same as you – it’s all bullshit.
These pricks will sign their name to anything on the off chance it’ll bring them some cash – so long as they don’t have to work.
“Work ? Fuck that, I’m way too special.”
Has Kirra Surf still got that pic of Freestone up on their billboard or has it been replaced with their latest fin chucker?
How’s those baby buggys and sub buggys selling Matt ?
Tube Pig, anyone ? Anywhere ?
EOL, I would have thought.
It’s all Geek to me.
Sadly or not, I’d say a lot of them would have been happy to be able to earn money so easily.
It’s not Burrow or Knox, it’s how stupid people could be!
I can’t imagine someone older than 12 seeing the message and saying “oh, I want to get into that”!
I don’t know any of these pro surfers, but beside telling me what kind of board to choose or airline to avoid, I’m not sure I’d need any advice from them.
could be a good time to be a share holder of bottled water,
rumour has it Gabby is refusing to surf the founders up unless kelly fills the pool with bottled water. he claims there is a risk that the current water may contain some form of aquatic life and is therefore potentially hazardous to the athletes.
All the bottled water in the world ain’t gonna save the tub from a good sized chubby runner.
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