Just like a real sport!
Remember the last time the Eddie ran? The one John John won? Jetskis roaring up the beach, closeout sets that brought the apocalypse etc? If you live in the US, you might’ve watched it live on CBS instead of crouching around your phone or computer.
Two years ago, CBS and the WSL signed a deal where the broadcaster would provide 40 hours of coverage, mostly after-the-fact two-hour episodes although the Eddie was too good to miss.
One day. Thirty foot waves. That’s a sport you can sell to dumb-asses on their synthetic fibre couches, jerking off into their Mac and Cheese boxes between rounds, heats, innings.
In a similar vein, CBS Sports Network will be live broadcasting The Founders Cup, which begins this Saturday, May 5 (early Sunday on the other side of the dateline) and running the entire weekend. CBS’ coverage will begin at 11am with the Sunday coverage to be announced.
Now, whether you thrill to the idea of pools or see ’em as a portent of End Times, the fact the WSL can get a little live coverage happening has less to do with it being in a pool but with a contest that starts and finishes at a fixed time.
As I wrote here, if you want to improve the WSL you gotta hit it hard and hit it fast. Reduce tour numbers. Finish an event in two days, max. The tour, as I do like to say, is a good-looking woman with poor dress sense and a permanent tension in her mouth.
Which makes The Founders Cup historic and not just because it’s being held in the intimidating witchcraft of Slater-Fincham’s man-made perfection. For the first time in surf history, a mainstream broadcaster is gifted a studio, start and finish times, guaranteed waves and a role call of the best surfers in the world.
Now, let’s extrapolate that a little.
What if non-pool contests were one or two-day events at eight-foot Cloudbreak or Teahupoo?
Wouldn’t that be a sport you’d watch?
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The Billabong Challenge at Jbay is good example of what a “rebel” tour event should look like…hard to make it fair to anyone trying to get into it but really damn good to watch!
wait. hold on. i thought surfing was the new golf. now you’re telling me golf is the new surfing?
I hope everyone realises that if this bombs, the wsl will come to a screeching halt. All their eggs are in the same basket hoping they can turn it in a snowboarding half pipe. But a half pipe is fun to watch people slam into unforgiving ice. Falling into water not so much. Maybe they need to go the whole takeshis castle thing and have people throwing cream pies at them and random backwash. Or competitors get to blast them with fire hoses and water bombs. Would be more interesting than what amounts to a gymnastics routine. I’m calling bust
if you’ve got a full-on sports channel package on your cable subscription or equivalent you probably get it. NBC has NBCSN – which shows the premier league and tour de france, etc. CBS and Fox have all-sports channels too, ABC owns ESPN so it rolls with that. Not sure what airs on CBS SN – maybe motocross and stuff like that
What is CBS Sports Network?
https://www.sbnation.com/co…
if you don’t like televisions and stuff you can just come here and i will tell you all about it! and it’ll even be fun, maybe!
Hopefully they bring Charlie Rose back to make inappropriate comments about all the girls
you wouldn’t need to look far to find someone to do it free.
“a sport you can sell to dumb-asses on their synthetic fibre couches, jerking off into their Mac and Cheese boxes between rounds, heats, innings.”
do you think the wsl used that in their pitch to CBS to secure the deal
I have a feeling CBS is going to embarrass the WSL with broadcast quality, for obvious reasons. The WSL could inadvertently be setting themselves up for a monumental backfire. On another note, wonder why Sunday is TBD. Sort of says to me, “If the ratings are low Sat, we will interupt this in lue of a better option”.
Sunday arvo tractor pull from Wisconsin?
well, the golf tourney this week is a total novelty team format so I bet we only see the pool if it rains out or the Saturday numbers blow out the golf numbers
I can assure you on a Sat during full on spring weather I absolutely won’t be sitting there watching the broadcast. I have already had my fill of tub footage.
Are points going to be distributed to the limited field? If not wouldn’t this be considered an exhibition instead?
Wave pools, wave pools and wave pools. Can we get an article on fashion again please. It’s been a while.
The primary purveyors and aficionados of fashion and wave pools are practically one and the same. After the contest expect the next article on BG to be a surf destination tell-all featuring the soft sands and hot nights from that magical island of Ibiza.
Well, if you want our “sport” holding hands with the Kansas mac n’ cheese post wank DNA crew, it’s here!!!!!!…. welcome to the tribe, Topeka!!!!!!
Hopefully just enough time to place some bets,drain a can and dump a load in a mac and cheese box
Just mac, you provide your own cheese
I thought about 5 minutes, but that would mean about 10 waves an hour with the aired commercials.
about the same number as a regular ct event then?
Well duh, just for starters, don’t you think that Dirk Ziff and his ‘billions’ might have had a little something to do with getting a spot on CBS?
OK Derek, please, enlighten us on how this works (seriously), is CBS paying the Wsl to show it on their network, and if so, how much, or a guess how much.? Or did Dirk Ziff sweeten the pot for CBS?
There was a TV commercial about it today during the PGA tournament in New Orleans broadcast! Did you hear me?!? A frickin’ TV commercial about a surf contest at a certain time on a date certain! I think it’s being broadcast live! Unbelievable!
“On their 30 foot synthetic fibre couches, jerking off into their Mac and Cheese boxes. That’s a sport you can sell to dumb-asses.
WATCH IT LIVE ON CBS!!!”
Fixed it for ya.
The real question remains unanswered – will it be the fab 4 on the mics ?
Just the A team only like it’s a final. Joey Turpel alongside ’89 World Champ Martin Potter. Rosy will be in the pool and they may throw down to Strider who will have his tits out in the hot tub.
You’re on fire! What year was Pottz world champ again though?
Other way round – Rosy for the tub. Crowd favourite
There’s literally no part of me that wants to watch this
Well this is great, I opened this article at the very moment I was taking a bite from a bowl of macaroni and cheese.
You and I both know a sculpted physique like yours doesn’t happen by accident. Did you drench your meal in some kind of instant whey protein?
Fuck no, I’m on a break. Just surfing. About to ride a board worth reviewing, in fact!
THAT I would like to read…..
If a cash reward is offered, will you swing it hither?
Sure! why the hell not. I want to surf it a bit more first though.
more like 5 eggs or at least some “meat” – I laughed and almost choked on my leftover BBQ steak and salad here at work!!
Laughing at the prospect of all Americans looking for every empty macaroni box to shoot a load into!! Is this a thing? Am I missing some vague pop culture reference here?
I hope you kept the box.
Perfect timing, target audience reached.