Call-to-Arms: “Free-dumb isn’t free!”

Don't let the surf fascists win!

Today it is the day we celebrate freedom in the United States of America. The day we shoot fireworks into the eye of tyranny and eat lard-ass food. Jose can you see by the donzerly light etc. But today not all is well for today the forces of surf fascism have moved, thinking that maybe nobody would notice. Thinking that maybe the lard-ass food and lukewarm beer would shield its bald-faced authoritarianism.

Well, bummer.

For today, on the Fourth of July, Instagram deleted my account @reportsfromhell, sending a small note that read “Your account has been disabled.”

You’d be forgiven for never visiting @reportsfromhell. It only featured very dumb videos and BeachGrit stories but it had grown to 188,000 hungry souls who feasted upon benign surf jokes. Poking at Herr Paul Speaker etc. Giggling about wipeouts and backward fins and all those goofy -isms that make surfers “surfers.” Etc.

At first, I assumed the account’s disappearance was a mistake and tried to find someone at the Instagram Help Desk before calling in bigger guns who informed me that a group of “appropriate Instagram professionals” would be “reviewing” and “getting back to me.”

That is when the truth sank in. Or the possible truth. Follow with me here. BeachGrit has been having many laughs at the recent and botched Facebook/World Surf League rollout. So many laughs, in fact, that the World Surf League took the very rare step to explain what happened, on its own website, and it seems it was written directly for you and against Longtom. It is very much worth a read and I’ll be making fun of it again tomorrow but where were we?

Oh yes, the truth. So BeachGrit was having many laughs and I was posting stories about those laughs on my Instagram account. Now, Instagram is owned by Facebook and I had just been sent some messages via Instagram by WSL higher-ups about my general conduct and…

voila. @reportsfromhell disappeared leaving 188,000 very sad souls in its wake.

Poof.

Gone.

Instagram could be vaguely angry at the content, I suppose, but it was no worse than the myriad other accounts featuring all manner of nasty. The arbitrarily enforced rules are certainly… troublesome, to say the least, and I am going to be chasing this story as doggedly as I am chasing WSL corruption but in the meantime do not fret dear People™ for I am your voice and we will neither be shaken nor stirred by the forces of evil because we believe that surf is best taken with a heaping side plate of laughs. We know that “professionalism” and “surfing” will never make good bedfellows because “cocaine” is already tucked in tight next to her lover. (buy here!)

You can follow now at @surfjournalist

And I’m coming for you, surf fascists. Coming for all of you.

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Frank Zhu
Frank Zhu
8 years ago

I enjoyed watching JBay and appreciate that it’s free. Prefer the previous setup.

I once heard people say surfers are true rebels. Will people be labelled as such if they complain about FB streaming? So if we do rebel are we rebelling against the establishment FB and WSL or the prevailing commercialisation environment we are in? Maybe both. Here lies the fundamental irony. A passion based on freedom in every sense of the word is corporatised at the highest and most international level by a private company. As long as WSL being a for profit company commercialisation will always come first. A radical idea is to turn it into a non profit but private organisation. Run it purely for the benefit of athletes and members. Decisions are to be made by both the board and the surfers representatives. A democracy. Is that a too outlandish idea? Maybe we will never find out.

Maybe there can be a hybrid form. Owners of wave pools act as simple asset owners. But they don’t own or control top surfers. WSL becomes not for profit and works in partnerships with other players for the advancement of the sport in a wholistic way including money making.

It is possible that such an organisation may be less business savvy. But given the millions of surfers I am sure there is a way for this organisation to do well and thrive.

Sorry for the rant. Just pointing out what I see as a fundamental disconnect between the top brass and the base. Even in Roman Empire times people got to elect the senate. This FB issue has allowed surfers to come forward to tell the top brass what they really think. A gladiator show run by a money making machine has its limits and it better adapt.

Lorlac
Lorlac
8 years ago

And meanwhile, the WSL flood our feed with 50 surf posts a day. Foiling, dogs surfing, Rasta, fucking whatever they can get their hands on.

Corey Webster
Corey Webster
8 years ago

WTF, you guys making fun of that horrible roll out by Facebook got your account deleted? Jeeze, the live feed it was so bad I finally just gave up. I wasted an entire night trying everything to get that crap to play for more than a minute. What a joke, the wsl and Facebook coming after people who were bothered by that? Pathetic.

Why me not them?
Why me not them?
8 years ago

“and I had just been sent some messages via Instagram by WSL higher-ups about my general conduct and…”

Oh I want one so badly it hurts!

surfmom
surfmom
8 years ago

Watered-down water, m8

surfmom
surfmom
8 years ago

bRah you must’ve missed the WSL’s Orwellian attempt to clear-up the viewership ‘confusion’ for us mouth breathing plebs.. and I quote:

“There has been much conversation about the concurrent viewership number displayed in the top-left corner of our live broadcast.. ..In short, what you’re seeing is a much lower number of people viewing than actually are.”

Oh thank you great WSL overlord, we eagerly await your next dictation!

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

Mebe peeps just hangin’ out for the heat highlights.
Mo betta, cuz work / sleep da kine.

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago
channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

Oh, speaking of petulant whims, why are the image uploads turned off now?
Negs? Any word?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago

Work …… Consume………Be Silent……..Die.
“The poverty of abundance” continues .

Walter Pepekay
Walter Pepekay
8 years ago

Great book!

Frontwards Fin Frank
Frontwards Fin Frank
8 years ago

Chas I see you more as surfing’s radical Imam rather than a Che..

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
8 years ago

Surely the naked dude hitting the ping pong ball with his penis, albeit funny, did not have a thing to do with the deletion.

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
8 years ago
Reply to  Captain Clark

Wher? Want to see! So funny!

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
8 years ago
Reply to  DrunkenAngel

It was on his story several times. I laughed out loud.

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
8 years ago
Reply to  DrunkenAngel
Walter Pepekay
Walter Pepekay
8 years ago
Reply to  Captain Clark

A beaver man for sure, or a guy very good at ping pong!

Keith Grace
Keith Grace
8 years ago

Fascism is everywhere.

surfmom
surfmom
8 years ago

They’re getting absolutely skewered in every comment section. Corpo facists don’t give a fuck about surfers and never have. Sophie and the others wash their hands of the blood every day when they leave the office and check the bank statement. Must be painful looking at yourself in the mirror if you’re even remotely close to being considered a ‘surfer’ and work with the WSL.

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago

Just when I was thinking facebook and The ‘SL had done the right thing. Son of a bitches.

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

If it was a ‘public space’ I suppose you’d have a right to say what you like.
Unfortunately all of the internet is basically a collection privately-owned ‘rooms’ where the owners can enforce their petulant whims at any given moment.

Look on the bright side. You’ve got your own fiefdom right here. The more people can spread the word of the free speech flying here, the more people will come to participate in your vision.

Can you publish the email you got? Would be very curious to see their eliptical reasoning.

wincy
wincy
8 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

What is public space? What is free space? I think about this a lot. The physical, the virtual.

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago
Reply to  wincy

if there was such a thing as a virtual public square, owned by the government(s) for the free an unfettered access of all… well, can you imagine the informational abuse it might suffer very quickly? Quite a dystopian setup. Who’s watching? Who’s quashing and erasing? Etc.

wincy
wincy
8 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

And freedom? What is it to be free? Are we ever? Are we, as Sartre says, free by being conscious? Is that what he says?

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago
Reply to  wincy

As Uncle Albert would say; “it’s all relative, babe.”

Return of the Samsung Board
Return of the Samsung Board
8 years ago

If you’re gone is getsendy still around?

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
8 years ago

Getsendy gonna come to my rescue!

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
8 years ago

An English lady is getting one over an American male on the god damn 4th of July, it ain’t right! It ain’t right at all!

Hippy
Hippy
8 years ago

Maybe the WSL should work with you to improve THEIR audience levels?

No, the war against surfers continues as that mythic unicorn of peripheral interest leaves the core audience abandoned.

surfmom
surfmom
8 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

WSL broadcast viewership is probably not too far above beachgrit traffic. Does that mean we’ll soon see Sophie make a public appeal for a bar tending job whilst banging out a book entitled ‘CEO + SURFING: A Goldschmit Story’? One can only hope.

Tom
Tom
8 years ago

If they cant fucking hack criticism why be in the game!!!! I kid you not every single post I have made to WSL has never gone up because they cant handle criticism.
They are so over protective of a brand that doesn’t fully exist – surely they must realise that discussion be it good or bad creates more eyeballs and more discussion. Fucking clueless as well as wankers!!


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