The competitive fire can still burn!
Kelly Slater’s announced retirement plans, just weeks ago, sent shockwaves though the entire world. Oh sure avid “Kelly Watchers” realized that, likely, the 11x world champ heard Parko’s announcement then his tongue just started moving all by itself. Before he knew it the spotlight was back his though the price for fixated attention was the specter of retirement after the 2019 season.
Now, avid “Kelly Watchers” know that retirement is something the champ likes to mention from time to time but doesn’t take very seriously. He has been surfing, professionally, for three whole generations and at least seems to need the competition.
But might he get his competitive fix from somewhere else? Florida Today hinted possibly yes in a long piece titled Can Pro Surfing, Brevard Stand to Lose Kelly Slater?
“Brevard” refers to the county Cocoa Beach calls home and Cocoa Beach is only famous for Kelly Slater so it is a very good question. I would imagine that Brevard county will disappear entirely, swallowed up by the swamp, the last remaining residents eaten by crocodiles. Pro surfing will also disappear entirely but for reasons that have to do more with Facebook than Kelly’s disappearance.
Anyhow, Kelly’s new competitive fix. Florida Today reports:
What would his retirement mean for the world tour, and what’s in store for Slater’s future?
After all, he’s modeled on catwalks, been linked to Hollywood celebrities, appeared on a TV series (“Baywatch”), recorded a CD (with “The Surfers”), and even appears in a current popular beer commercial.
His “retirement” portfolio is certainly diversified.
He has produced an eco-friendly fashion label (“Outerknown”), launched a new drink brand (“Purps”), and the Kelly Slater Wave Company has created an artificial wave pool in Lemoore, Calif., (and another one coming next year at the Palm Beach Park of Commerce along the Beeline Highway in northwestern Palm Beach County) that could be the sport’s future.
And there’s always golf, where his 2-handicap and countless rounds from Pebble Beach to St. Andrews could help him qualify for the Senior PGA Tour when he turns 50.
Did you catch that? In four short years Kelly Slater can be playing senior golf professionally. Traveling the world like he once did. Spotlight still flickering. Still fluttering.
And do you like golf? Are you good? I’ve only ever played for laughs but do enjoy that there is much discussion of handicap in the game.
How do I upvote this 100 times
You realize a 2 handicap is nowhere near pro level, even for seniors. Every golfer I know says KS is a joke
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
A surfers subconscious attraction to sand and water is surely not conducive to golf.
Why did Kelly Slater become Catholic before playing Augusta National?
It was the only way Kelly could get past the nun on 12 and reach Amen Corner.
LITTLE GOAT WILL TAKE LAIRDS* ADVICE AND TAKE EVERY HOLE ON LAIRDS** WHIZZY GOLF BOARD.
* apostrophes are for lesser mortals.
**nope, still no good. Buy more creamer instead.
Take Every Hole, the LAIDs Hamilton Story
air swing golf guy is the worst.
Also, did you know that confirmed power couple, Laird and Tara enjoy golf?
Do you think “Being linked to Hollywood Celebrities” is on his Resume?
Slater’s look alike …. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
So cal you hit the nail on the head! After looking at the photo I asked myself why is Kelly impersonating a constipated Popeye ?
Who would his caddy be? Mason Ho?
He’ll be know for surfing and having a lam chain of Smelly Skater Pools. The golf habit says everything about the guy…Want B.
Good riddens.
For some reason Kelly and the PGA Senior Tour gave me flashbacks of Stanley Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut and Kelly is playing the role of Tom Cruise, on the outside just dying to get in ?
You lost me at PGA…
That Necro thing – is it a letter to the Almighty or a cry of exasperation?
Golfers are only sllllllighty above surfers and NASCAR drivers with their fashion. So Kelly with fit right in.
Where do professional bass fishermen fit into this matrix?
that would be a very good model for the WSL to emulate, seriously.
For real: take dudes to a 10-km stretch of coastline and have them hunt the best waves in the zone with a filmer over a single swell event. Do a “weigh-in” clip reveal event where best clip wins. Like Innersection on a 3-day window. How do they broadcast pro bass these days? Long time since I’ve seen it.
BRB gotta ask Todd Kline
Note that the PGA Tour does NOT allow shorts to be worn during a tournament. Expect a new line of Outknown Golf Pants made from recycled Florida stripper thongs any day now.
You win man. No one topping that comment. I bow to you.
Oh no… talk about taking the dead, bloated, and still bloodied carcass of the surf industry and kicking it once more in its crushed rib cage to send those green flies scurrying into the air… integrating Kelly Slater and Outerknown with the American bourgeoisie country club class. So now Biff, Kip, and Brett will be able to get their despicable pink whale gear – and their third Wave Storms of the summer after snapping the first 2 in the last windswell – while passing by the 50% off Outerknown shirts I. in the back corner which which will now all be available at the Golf “pro shop”.
It’s over Johnny…
I’d signed up for Kelly Watchers, assuming it’s some sort of wonderful weight loss program where in order to eat anything unhealthy (like milk, yeah, Kelly hates milk), you need to first watch videos of Kelly playing guitar or talking about his short game on back 9 yesterday.
If he does go out to the green pastures of the golf circuit, I only hope he does it with his feet planted on one of lairds golf board so they finally get the credibility they deserve.
The handicap in golf is funny. Imagine if they did that with surfing! Think of all the douchebags claiming they’re a 3, even though they usually surf the equivalent of shooting in the mid-80s (like Ke11z in golf). Meanwhile, you’ll have Chas sporting his 22 handicrap with pride…
If it means I can park in handicap car parks then count me in.