Jerky mid-face turns? Four-stage cutbacks?
I was a bad surfer for many years and then I died. I think that will be my epitaph. If a book was written it would be called Journal of a Pointless Life.
Still, I persist. And I persist with a manner of surfing that, although tweaked here and there, a few weeks spent doing throwaway airs, a month on backside on-the-face reverses that are more cutbacks into a long, slow slide, remains largely the same, year after year, wave after wave.
My signature is to hesitate on the take off, examine the nose of my board briefly, stay in the push-up position for a second or two, eventually take off, race to the shoulder, do a hands-in-the-air cut-down followed by a pump-pump-pump, a jerky sorta mid-face turn, race, race, race, to horizontal closeout and look to the beach for any sign of delight on faces of spectators.
What’s your signature? And what defines your signature? Are you tall and gangly (Chas) or a little pert one with round thin shoulders (me)?
Is your signature self-conscious and your volume too hot: standing upright, jerky arms, or is your signature a great self-control, as if you’re bored with the whole thing and you want to go to bed?
Late drop to 540 Scorpion on a moving ramp.
Adrenaline regularly elevates my signature performances of reef scrubbing. The trick is to grab the seaweed on the as you bounce of the slab and come up howling like mad instead of gasping for air. I’d say that’s my biggest contribution to my local.
Well this was therapeutic!
The Brazilian Flapjack
Google it
2 broken ribs and a pneumothorax on a knee high beach break, and then whinging for 6 months
We’ve got more or less the same style, Derek, at least at the beginning.
I also eventually take off.
I gave up long ago looking for any sight of delight on faces of spectators.
Mine is a cocked arm style that’s reminiscent of an enthusiastic 1940’s music hall rendition of I’m a little teapot. I sometimes combine this with an upright style that suggests I was born without the use of my knees.
Hope to see you on PlaySchool very soon .
Ha! What’s that through the window Big Ted? I believe its a lone goofy foot flailing forlornly on the intermediate plateau of doom.
Urrgh… At the moment my signature move is a tumble turn. And swimming under/over all the pensioners doing that weird starfish backstroke.
How fucked is that starfish backstroke pensioner move! just appalling. no style at all.
No style, no substance. That’s the elderly these days for ya.
So similar.
But i skip the fast food, because in a cutting regime to get ready for Indo
I use the “goldy locks” approach.
its usually a bit small and a bit crowded.
on bigger days I have an old footballing injury that seems to flair up.
on those rare days when everything is in the “goldy locks zone”, I have a “family thing I can’t get out of”.
I have a few, and its a gamble which theme I follow each surf. Keeps things interesting. “Cool! It’s ‘over the falls on wave of the day with all eyes on me’ day” or “Great! I haven’t had ‘leggy around both feet every wave’ for weeks!”
Backhand float to ankle or knee injury to physio. And then to psych for counselling. Get angry. Smash something. Repeat.
Key bumps in the parking lot and heckling groms has become my signature move at Seaside.
If I happen to be in Oceanside my go-to move has become asking people who ask me for money if they can break a hundred. I don’t have a lot of friends….
For me its driving around checking spots until its blown then find the nearest liquor store.
Super tight radius, full-body power flat snaps, not straight up enough and not high enough on the lip. It feels amazing, like I’m totally slaying it, but looks like I was going to do regular surfing then had a violent seizure.
I suspect if I videoed myself having sex it would be about the same dynamic.
My signature is snaking everyone and burning kids. When I get older it will be standing in the car park telling everyone in earshot how I used to rip
One of my best is
Assume that because I have surfed a while I don’t have to paddle much any more “as I know waves!!” – hence fucking good at the “late take-off thus blowing of wave, because too far behind the section specialist” and the “over the falls specialist”
Of course I blame the waves and scowl like it was everyone and the waves fault bar mine!
Damn, we must be twins.
imagine us going blow for blow “late take off” – be good kookslams footage!!! hows those ribs?
I’m similar to your description above, except that I’m such a kook, instead of scowling I laugh and smile while shaking my head about it all, thus even further reinforcing the core kook image.
My ribs suck. Can’t cycle, I now take the bus. Fucked my ankle two nights ago stepping off bus in dark, onto rough ground. Now in Velcro-boot for a few weeks til that heals too.
How’s THAT for a fucking kook move? Jebus wept.
Jebus wept! I specialize in bog rails. Thinking about starting a surf school teaching people this “move”.
I can see the sign :
Doug Rail’s Non Traditional Surf Lessons on SALE
Jeez channel you’re a mess, pull yourself together Man!
Having spent all week looking at instagram clips of pros, get over-excited and throw my full 80kg at the first section to even hint at standing up for me. Completion rate of 3%. Fuck you Griff for making it look that easy.
just be happy you have a “completion rate”.
I only paddle out on big days so i only have to go straight and turn slightly. can’t do anything else.
Most self-aware analysis of one’s own surfing I’ve ever read. Bravo.