"It would be strange to crown an Olympic champion in the ocean one Games and then in the pool in another."
Of course, Stephanie Gilmore is the most pleasing of all surfers to watch at Surf Ranch. The six-time world champion was raised among the girlish sand-bottom points of Coolangatta and while stodgy men (Joel) and uninterested men (John John) struggle with the pool’s reductive precision, Stephanie’s delicate gestures reveal a nobility impossible to imitate.
Just prior to the women’s event at Jeffrey’s Bay, Stephanie enjoyed a week-long “Olympics readiness” training camp at Surf Ranch courtesy of the government-funded body Surfing Australia. This was questioned by the shaping great Maurice Cole who wondered, very loudly, why the Australians were practising in a pool when the Games will be held in Chiba’s crummy little beachies.
But, perhaps Stephanie knows something you and I, the shielded, protected public, don’t. Yesterday, she told The Daily Telegraph,
“If we knew it would be in an ocean where the waves were consistent and there was a perfect reef break then for sure I’d be down for it… But there are so many counties where the waves aren’t there, who might not even have an ocean. I think it would be good to be consistent from the very beginning. It would be strange to crown an Olympic champion in the ocean one Games and then in the pool in another. I think they need to start it in a wave pool and keep it going. It would be terrible if you worked for four years and then there was no surf.”
She ain’t wrong.
Can you imagine the gloom and the resentment if the gold medals were awarded to some child for exaggerated turns in two-foot bouillabaisse?
Interestingly, Stephanie also said the Ranch had been excellent training for J-Bay.
“It was pretty perfect preparation for here actually. The waves are pretty similar.”
Read the entire story here. (Spoiler: the meat’s already been picked off the bone.)
Steph is all sole
Faark i thought Kelly and Ed Ved were tight..??
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Well of course she would. Because drawing the same repetitive lines seems to bode well on a repetitive wave.
Ouch, but yes.
“Interestingly, Stephanie also said the Ranch had been excellent training for J-Bay.”
Obvs, Look how good Kelly went.
he is bored with it already and spends most of his time in Lemoore playing on the tractor or at the shopping centre food court educating the locals on goji berries and the shape of the earth.
Worked for Wade though ,with a 3rd at Ballito and a 2nd at J Bay ?
Kelly (45? years old) lost to Jordy who is pretty much the best there is at Jbay, but lets just forget about that and blame Steph and the ranch. Yes I love KS, I have his Komunity grip pinned on my wall
46 bald and closer to 50 than he is to 30 .
So she’s pretty much saying she wants olympic surfing to fail. Every country might not have ocean waves but every country also can’t afford to fly there entire surf team out to Kelly’s surf ranch for practice. Can you imagine the Iranian surf team convincing the Ayatollah to fund their trip to Kelly’s surf pool cause I sure as hell can’t.
What are the conditions of entry for surf in the olympics? Would be class if any country could enter. Imagine a heat with Fanning vs Mahmoud bin Assad bin Fayed how funny/shit would that be.
As with skiing sports and occasionally swimming, I’d imagine the international field would be filled with Americans with great(-great) grandparents from other countries naturalizing as citizens of Poland, Cyprus, and Botswana to represent “their” nations.
Could be gold, silver and bronse for lithuania via the gudas bros!
There’s lots of dudes of international grandparentage at some beaches that I frequent. I’d bet that most of Eastern Europe, much of the Middle East, and lots of no-surf island countries could field a team with guys who were born in California.
I know a third-generation Bulgarian kid who holds the passport and absolutely shreds by layman’s standards. Who’s going to hold him out of trying to get in for BG? Not any local talent, I’d imagine.
Bulgarians are no joke, salted or unsalted….
Kick em out of maga with every1 else who is immigrant. Goddamn immigrants!
I’m told that all minors who paddle out on the peak that I’m surfing in the pre-dawn grey will be separated from their parents.
Make Gray Great Again!
I’m really keen on the Gabby vs Eric the Electric Eel match-up.
Mecca could become the Mecca of wave pools and you would have no trouble convincing the faithful to come ?Inshallah .( If god wishes it to be so ) .
Might just lead to the Greatest Blood Feud ever. With actual blood spilled. The Sunni claim Surf Mecca. The Iranian Shia lose their shiatt and begin a proxy war at the KSWC Surf Ranch Mecca. Chas would war correspondent the hell out of it too. Which would be great fun.
Could it be worse than what happened with those Crazy Christians at the future site of the Waco wave pool ?
Yes. It’s like what Kelly said early on about his wave. Kelly can always scale it up.
I know Kelly said “you can always scale it back…”. What I heard was you, me, us CAN scale it back, while Kelly gets busy scaling up. He’s crafty with his words, almost which crafty. Which works well on Instagram. You know, like which accounts to follow? He’s weird. Enigmatic ego riding which shitty board this contest weird. Which shitty craft.
“Olympics readiness”????
Isn’t Japan 2 years from now? Isn’t Steph competing on the WSL? Is the pro tour not a good warm up for the Olympics? What is she “working’ on during these training sessions that wouldn’t be better accomplished 18 months from now?
Let’s call it what it is/was…. frivolous spending by Surfing Australia.
Call me simple,but if you ask for a government subvention and they give it to you then you should spend it and then ask for more before they change their mind and start investing in Curling Australia and building ice rinks for people to scrub clean with brushes . Do you think Piping Hot was going to send Wade or Buell send Keely Andrew for 3 days at the pool ? What was good for Steph was great for those with a much tighter budget .
bit of floor scrubbing practice wouldn’t go astray at my place.
I can see Mr P W Kerr at the head of Curling Australia ,keeping the house clean ( with the help of a few scrubbers ) .
Surfers are turning into a bunch of jaded cry babies.
Speak for yourself, I’ve been a jaded crybaby for years, decades even. All these newjacks can’t even fathom the depth, history, and nuance of what being a jaded crybaby’s really all about.
Can you elaborate on that, the finer points maybe.
Being a jaded crybaby isn’t a sport, it’s an art form, a lifestyle, a form of expression. That’s why Hollywood hasn’t been able to make a movie faithful to the jaded crybaby culture, because they just don’t get it, maaaaannnnnn.
Dora!
Just put in a tank filled with organic Michelob and you can only surf one left one right after first downing 2 schooies!!
And the wearing of flippers is obligatory!
Since I detest the Olympic farce, I’m happy for them to use a pool.
She makes a good point about repetition and if you want that half-pipe you need a Nocean.
Since I’m not in training for the ‘lympics, I’ll take my kooky lumps in the local beachies, thanks.
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I love you, you sexy robot muthafuka
After all those ignored attempts at asking what happened to the image button, you still persisted with the inquiry, and were rewarded with the spoils of victory!
Wtf imqges! Wooooooooo babeeeeeee