You can't script this!
I have received a very unexpected outpouring of
affection from that little open letter to
owner of professional surfing Dirk Ziff. Notes and message from
every corner of the globe. Grumpy surfers unburying grumpy hearts
and sharing what they love about surfing and what is missing from
this current World Surf League iteration.
It has reignited my passions and feel we The People are
coalescing around a set of values we’ve always shared just rarely
verbalized. That the “hater” opinion is not only negative and
nit-picky, as is likely the belief in Santa Monica. That we can
either force the WSL to actually and truly engage or hasten its
demise.
But then I get sad thinking, “What would Dirk and Natasha Ziff
do if they could no longer stomp around blindly in our
playground?”
This morning the answer jumped off the newspaper and straight
into my fired imagination.
Sandcastle building!
And read a little
snippet with me if you would?
Brian Denny and his two sons couldn’t contain their shock
Sunday.
The trio had just been announced as the group winner of the
of the International Surf Festival’s sand castle design contest for
their creation of a giant 10-tentacled octopus.
Along with 200 competitors, teams and individuals gathered
near the Manhattan Beach Pier. around 7:30 a.m. for the 58th
edition of the sand castle contest. It was all part of the annual
5-day International Surf Festival, which concluded on
Sunday.
Contest participants were given just under two hours to
build whatever their heart’s desire as spectators watched from the
pier above trying to make out who was building what.
Denny, a Redondo Beach resident, often made sand castles
while frequenting the beach as a kid, he said.
Sunday’s contest was the first for him and his sons Pierson,
11, and Lincoln, 9.
The family jumped for joy and could hardly contain themselves
at the realization of beating out their fellow
competitors.
“After the mermaid got fifth place, that mermaid had really
great texture and detail and I thought ‘There’s no way ours is as
good as that,'” Brian Denny said, adding that they came into the
event with a plan.
The elder Denny moved the sand while Lincoln worked on the
face, using seaweed for hair and sea shells for teeth, and Pierson
created the tentacles. Aside from first place, the Denny’s were
medals and a $50 gift to a local restaurant which they plan to use
for dinner Sunday.
Do you see it?
Sandcastle building, like surfing, is a pointless, juvenile
pastime with no inherent value or benefit to mankind other than
providing small bursts of pure joy. The Ziffs, in the service of
prosperity, could smash that joy to smithereens with a few already
tried and true adjustments.
Here’s how!
Hold the sandcastle building contest over a ten
day window with five days being dedicated to the competition.
Kieren Perrow can be the commissioner and build a little test
sandcastle every day to see if the conditions are right.
Always make sure people know it is a “sport”
and sandcastle builders are “athletes.”
Have the judging criteria favor tried and true
design over anything progressive and new. Sturdy walls. Moats.
Pointy little towers. If successful, professional sandcastle
builders will each build a version of the same exact thing.
Hire Turpel and Pottz to call the action.
Give the girls shittier sand far away from
everyone.
Penalize individuality and/or genuine opinion
so the professional sandcastle builders all say, “Yeah, the sand
was good. The competition was rad. Yew…” at the end of the day.
Include Kelly Slater.
Start the few years by holding the sandcastle
building competitions in beautiful Tahiti, Maldives, Rio etc. but
then shift most focus to Kelly Slater’s Sandcastle Ranch in Tulare,
California.
Stream live on Facebook.
Tell potential advertisers that because lots of
people build sandcastles, the World Sandcastle Building League has
potential to be the biggest sport in the entire world especially
among people who have never built a sandcastle themselves.
Actually believe it.
Michelob Ultra Gold brewed with Organic
Grains.
What am I missing?