Sept. 06 - 09 will be the monster weekend of your young life!
And so yesterday I was texting with a very wonderful surf photographer friend about surf news and surf gossip and surf jokes and, of course, our conversation bent toward Surf Ranch and the upcoming Surf Ranch Pro in Lemoore, California. Apparently ticket sales are not as… robust as expected. Quite shocking considering a one-day, non-VIP ticket is the most expensive entertainment from Disneyland’s gate all the way up Vancouver B.C.’s famed Opera, Caviar and Cristal nights. Equally shocking considering that Surf Ranch is in Lemoore, California where the only thing exceeding the ticket price will be the temperature.
The very wonderful surf photographer, anyhow, texted “Even Paul Speaker would know that you don’t fuck with NFL Opening Weekend.
At first I didn’t understand. There is no way the Surf Ranch Pro scheduled itself during the National Football League’s opening weekend. Absolutely no way.
I tossed and turned all night, having the strangest dreams of NFL quarterback Drew Brees messing about in the Surf Ranch, throwing Kelly Slater passes and things before waking in a fevered sweat.
Absolutely no way.
First, I clicked on to my still operational WSL app, made my way to men’s events and saw Sept. 06 – 09. Next, I Googled “NFL Opening day weekend ’18 – ’19 and saw Sept. 06 (Falcons at Eagles) – Sept. 09 (every other game).
Whoa.
And which fantastic sporting weekend are you more looking forward to? Which will get higher numbers? Most importantly, will any professional surfers take a knee during the playing of the national anthem at Surf Ranch?
So weird how they both fall on the exact same dates but, I suppose, you can’t corral nature.
The largest collection of surf companies in North America, with the associated owners, sales guys, marketing guys, team managers, and their friends of friends, and surf groupies, (male and female), all potential ticket buyers and consumers of Michelob Ultra Organic Golden Grains, are going to be OUT OF TOWN during the WSL Komp…
at the Surf Expo trade show, which is Thurs, Friday, Saturday of the Komp….
Quik, Bong, RVCA, Rip Curl, O’Neill, Hurley, Volcom, etc, committed to being at Surf Expo months ago, and Surf Expo was scheduled two YEARS ago for these dates.
Tahiti ends Aug 21st , France starts October 3rd… FIFTY ONE DAYS between these two stops to hold a contest at the Ranch…which does NOT need a waiting period…and they schedule conflict it with the biggest weekend in American sports, and the largest surf trade show in America as well. Its super frustrating that the WSL does not seem to be looking at the industry calendar too.
‘you cant script this’
nice chat – on the money
Nobody measures waves from the back in Hawaii – you’re obviously misinformed.
Wave height in the islands is measured through a complicated algorithm requiring up to eleven different considerations. For example, this data may include things like, buoy readings, who saw it, who you’re talking to at the time, the tone of your skin and the thickness and authenticity of your fake-pidgin accent.
I understand it’s far too complicated for most malahini to grasp, so I recommend adopting the universal scale – head-high, double overhead etc and you can’t go wrong.
The only things measured from the back are the abundant, thong-clad female posteriors sprinkled generously across the golden sand beaches.
retarded i think are socal people that float together in a pool of sewage with 100 people, ca’mon my brother lets be real socal waves are 99% of times super shitty and surfline 6 foot equals 2 foot anywhere else in the world in hawaii actually your HB or trestles high tide 6-8 they call it flat. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Absolutely. Why the hell not !
Now I’ve read KVF’s rap – that’ll fly. Contemporary and edgy as hell.
Write a Layne Beachley character in and of course an Angelo internet citizen – now there’s a smoking scene.
Dirk Ziffler at his finest…billionaires paying millionaires to surf in a community that doesn’t care and can’t afford tickets…the height of tone deaf…
you mean the actual swell size?
Prophecy fulfilled! The WSL takes its rightful place along side the NFL!
Hoping for a south swell with a plan to take advantage of cobblestone point breaks sans surf industry regulars and pros clogging up the line-up, as they all will be milling about a fake wave drinking light beer. Maybe the line-up will be down on the count of Brazos surfing in Adidas soccer shorts, too.
The New Surf World Order or NSWO is claimed to be an emerging clandestine totalitarian group of wealthy surfing elite ‘bros’, industry bagmen, marketing execs and funboard surfing groupies with medical grow-ops.
The common theme in conspiracy theories about a New World Surfing Order is that a secretive surf industry power elite with a globalist agenda is conspiring to eventually rule the surfing world through an authoritarian world government—The WSL and associated brands and charities. These will eventually rule all sovereign surfing nation-states (think tabletops parking lot becoming a privately held open market for free range chicken, flojos sandals and non GMO Marijuana edibles.)
The all-encompassing propaganda whose ideology hails the establishment of the New Surfing World Order as the culmination of surfings progress. Many influential surfing and contemporary figures (think Tom Delonge, Richard Branson and Heavy Metal Jimmy) have therefore been purported to be part of a cabal that operates through many front organizations to orchestrate significant political and financial events, ranging from causing systemic crises with the WSL to pushing through controversial policies in terms of what is considered kooky or not (think: Tom Curren Skimboarding). At both national and international levels, as steps in an ongoing plot to achieve world domination, sponsored by outerknown & wavestorm.
OK, I think I can get with this.
NWO…is a fact…part of the global agenda programmed in the schools by the United Nations and read Agenda 21… shit not.
Don’t feed the beast….buy local… home grown surf gear only!
Back to the Bushman
I like to take a knee.
Turkeys aint the only thing that gobbles and gets stuffed.
Shit! Wrong weird U.S. day.
Ahhhhh fuck it. Any day is a good day for this. I can even do it while watching pigskins fly across a pool.
I am so confused right now.
It’s simple, theyll just change the date.
effing Jocks
football is a child’s game for tribal minded throwbacks
It’s a crypto-facist metaphor for nuclear war.
RDJ said so himself.
Any relation to RCJ?
One plays the role of Iron Man and the other one is Iron Man ?
or unscripted human drama?
yes, it is for drama queens too
Transgender?
no just people that thrive on drama
Daddy? What was the WSL??
Someday, Chas will write an article about what the WSL was. People from outside of surfing will read and think it’s a parody on how to run a business …. There will be a sitcom made. It’ll be huge.
Billionaire and wife, crazy CEO and mad influencer Marketing Officer, wacky commentators, a goat, warring surfboard manufacturers, a host of surfers each with their own mad traits and watchful internet citizens all with a voice. It’s all there.
Chas and Derek hopefully get rights to the screenplay.
There’s your end game right there, Chas. And the kicker, you won’t have to embellish a thing or make any of it up, just tell it like it was. A true comedy.
(Laughtrack)
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Dallas v The Beverly HillBillies or Game of Thrones goes surfing ?
kieren perrow can be played by matt damon
NFL just hosted it’s opening game…. Hall of Fame Game that PRECEDES the Pre Season.
The meaningless game played by athletes that won’t make the opening day roster was viewed by 6.77 million homes. That qualifies as the tenth highest rated programming of the summer in the US.
The surf ranch thingy can’t capture actual surfers interest, it doesn’t matter when or what they schedule it “against”.
what about the ISA SUP games, surely someone would Watch Kelly?
Whoa, this picture above actually occurred? You truly can’t make this up.
The surfers’ “union” should lobby for a surfer’s score challenge rule subject to replay. Say each surfer gets 2 challenges in the event that can be used at any time. The replay video goes to an individual judge that has unquestioned respect from everyone. Offsite so Kelly can’t get in his ear. Its like 3 minutes between waves so time is there to accomplish. Challenged score automatically overturned. Offsite Challenge Judge score will be final, even if result is lower score than original score.
WSL Lemoore Landlover Surf League Pro will be another deflate gate. Deflated ticket sales and more WSL Expectile Dysfunction.
They choose the NFL opening week end to schedule a WSL comp? That’s basically going after the dreams of Caroline Marks and Griffin Colapinto. I’m afraid that if I choose to watch NFL instead of WSL, I’ll undermine the hopes of every kid who lives with salt in their hair, dreaming of being a world champion one day. Shit, all of this thanks to the WSL.
Perfect Walter, you out passive aggressived those son of a bitches!
Breaking News: NFL puts Opening Day back a week !
WSL owner, Dirk Ziff thanked NFL CEO, Roger Goodell for his understanding.
Roger, “When I thought of Griff and Caroline and the salty haired groms, I had a moment. Who are we ? Is this right ? We care. We can move, why not ?”
WSL Media release: “When two major sports clash on certain days there are always going to be issues. We are both working hard behind the scenes to ensure that viewers won’t be in conflict in the future.”
More to come.