You can't script this!
I have received a very unexpected outpouring of affection from that little open letter to owner of professional surfing Dirk Ziff. Notes and message from every corner of the globe. Grumpy surfers unburying grumpy hearts and sharing what they love about surfing and what is missing from this current World Surf League iteration.
It has reignited my passions and feel we The People are coalescing around a set of values we’ve always shared just rarely verbalized. That the “hater” opinion is not only negative and nit-picky, as is likely the belief in Santa Monica. That we can either force the WSL to actually and truly engage or hasten its demise.
But then I get sad thinking, “What would Dirk and Natasha Ziff do if they could no longer stomp around blindly in our playground?”
This morning the answer jumped off the newspaper and straight into my fired imagination.
And read a little snippet with me if you would?
Brian Denny and his two sons couldn’t contain their shock Sunday.
The trio had just been announced as the group winner of the of the International Surf Festival’s sand castle design contest for their creation of a giant 10-tentacled octopus.
Along with 200 competitors, teams and individuals gathered near the Manhattan Beach Pier. around 7:30 a.m. for the 58th edition of the sand castle contest. It was all part of the annual 5-day International Surf Festival, which concluded on Sunday.
Contest participants were given just under two hours to build whatever their heart’s desire as spectators watched from the pier above trying to make out who was building what.
Denny, a Redondo Beach resident, often made sand castles while frequenting the beach as a kid, he said.
Sunday’s contest was the first for him and his sons Pierson, 11, and Lincoln, 9.
The family jumped for joy and could hardly contain themselves at the realization of beating out their fellow competitors.
“After the mermaid got fifth place, that mermaid had really great texture and detail and I thought ‘There’s no way ours is as good as that,'” Brian Denny said, adding that they came into the event with a plan.
The elder Denny moved the sand while Lincoln worked on the face, using seaweed for hair and sea shells for teeth, and Pierson created the tentacles. Aside from first place, the Denny’s were medals and a $50 gift to a local restaurant which they plan to use for dinner Sunday.
Do you see it?
Sandcastle building, like surfing, is a pointless, juvenile pastime with no inherent value or benefit to mankind other than providing small bursts of pure joy. The Ziffs, in the service of prosperity, could smash that joy to smithereens with a few already tried and true adjustments.
Hold the sandcastle building contest over a ten day window with five days being dedicated to the competition. Kieren Perrow can be the commissioner and build a little test sandcastle every day to see if the conditions are right.
Always make sure people know it is a “sport” and sandcastle builders are “athletes.”
Have the judging criteria favor tried and true design over anything progressive and new. Sturdy walls. Moats. Pointy little towers. If successful, professional sandcastle builders will each build a version of the same exact thing.
Hire Turpel and Pottz to call the action.
Give the girls shittier sand far away from everyone.
Penalize individuality and/or genuine opinion so the professional sandcastle builders all say, “Yeah, the sand was good. The competition was rad. Yew…” at the end of the day.
Include Kelly Slater.
Start the few years by holding the sandcastle building competitions in beautiful Tahiti, Maldives, Rio etc. but then shift most focus to Kelly Slater’s Sandcastle Ranch in Tulare, California.
Stream live on Facebook.
Tell potential advertisers that because lots of people build sandcastles, the World Sandcastle Building League has potential to be the biggest sport in the entire world especially among people who have never built a sandcastle themselves.
Actually believe it.
Michelob Ultra Gold brewed with Organic Grains.
What am I missing?