For the world's best a nightmare of sitting with dreams evaporating into long lulls without meaning and or end.
Round two completed in listless head-high surf. A dream day for a puffy middled recreational surfer to dodge the tube on some fluffy runners without witnesses. Ultimate fun.
For the world’s best a nightmare of sitting with dreams evaporating into long lulls without meaning and seemingly without end. I imagine Ziff, if he were watching, would find it vexatious (“Waiting for the ocean to deliver exciting conditions has been an obvious issue”) and confusing.
But what to do?
To borrow a favourite phrase of Carribean writer VS Naipaul (who died yesterday), “The world is what it is”.
Now that Sophie has gone from red-hot to lukewarm on the wave system as the ultimate answer squaring that circle whilst maintaining the fantasy that Pro Surfing can take its rightful place among the great and elite competitive sports will take some wrangling, billionaire or not behind the wheel.
You wonder whether he has fully thought through the risk in dismantling the architecture of a Tour that has weathered ownership changes, name changes, convulsions in format and location and yet has remained stable in its core mission: to produce a credible World Champion delivered through a year long tour. Once it lies in pieces on the floor all the kings horses and men won’t be able to put it back together. It seems like the last CEO to properly understand and enhance that was ten-year CEO Wayne Bartholomew.
Innovation brings risk. Ziff is quite right there.
I speak as someone who has innovated, flown into the sun scattering my own dime like chicken feed into the cosmos and taken a cold bath, losing everything.
But you wonder whether he has fully thought through the risk in dismantling the architecture of a Tour that has weathered ownership changes, name changes, convulsions in format and location and yet has remained stable in its core mission: to produce a credible World Champion delivered through a year long tour.
Once it lies in pieces on the floor all the kings horses and men won’t be able to put it back together. It seems like the last CEO to properly understand and enhance that was ten-year CEO Wayne Bartholomew.
Owen Wright threaded some user friendly but technical tubes to take down Joan Duru in heat six.
Ian Gouveia had broken a losing streak in the heat prior to best Griffin Colapinto.
Michael February sat out a lull for the back ten minutes of his heat with Connor Coffin needing a low two. He fumbled and bumbled his way to get the score with surfing that would not win a heat in the Junior Division of the local boardriders. The ecstacy of Rosie Hodge in her description of the buzzer beater was Homeric in its intensity. Later, Rosie asked Connor if he was looking forwards to Surf Ranch.
“Haven’t thought about it,” Coffin deadpanned in reply.
With Sophie’s walk back yesterday from the Surf Ranch and the impossible-to-imagine-eighteen-months-ago scenario of a blowback against Kelly’s pool it calls into question the strategic wisdom of the Founders Cup. Meant as a dry run and teaser for the main Surf Ranch CT Event it has had the unintended consequence of bleeding away interest so skilfully accumulated during the marketing campaign preceding it. Glimpses of the pool maintained our vampiric interest but like Shakespeare’s description of sexual desire in Antony and Cleopatra too much of the wavepool is like the other women who “cloy the appetites they feed”.
While watching the next heat a shocking thought came to me: Keanu Asing could win this contest if it’s held in head-high lefts. No one makes a head-high left look bigger and more dramatic than the diminutive Oahuan. It’s shameful and cynical to admit that scenario crushed my spirit.
What about our dreams Mr Ziff, do they count in your world view? Rodriguez delivered me from my personal torment to take the heat.
Of all the athletes on the World Tour it’s Matty Wilko I feel for most. Not just because he resides locally and I surf with him a fair bit, not just because of the hard scrabble life in a van upbringing with his old man. Not even because fate brought us together and I caddied for him in Tahiti in a clutch heat when he was on the cusp of getting axed in the mid-year cut (he survived). In a WSL world devoted the bland it feels like he has given up the most. Scrape away character and what remains is the diamond hard calculus of winning and losing, and Wilko is losing. After losing this heat against Japan’s Huntington Beach Kanoa Igarashi – is Huntington on Honshu or Kyushu?– he’s cooked. Like the guy who stole the plane in Seattle when they got him on the radio: “I’m OK, Just a broken guy”.
I went back through the heat analyser and watched, assiduously, every Matt Wilkinson wave in 2018 thus far. The same level of rippage as previous. Some truly staggering judging calls against him, particularly v M. February at Snapper. Incomprehensible.
This is the ball of confusion Mr Ziff. The fog of war that Pro Surfing will be eternally mired in. It is incomprehensible, even to the lifelong fan. To the casual observer, no matter how in thrall to the thrill, how much wide-eyed positivity they display when shown the video images, they will never understand.
One athlete in the history of pro surfing was understandable to the non surfing public, Mr Robert Slater, and he ironically, is the one leading you down the path away from the goal you seek, and from which there will be no return. The World is what it is and when the spectacle is gone from pro surfing it will be much diminished.
Did you notice that Billabong has dropped out of sponsoring Tahiti? I suspect Sophie made the trip to Tahiti to duchess officials and assure them that without the backing of Billabong the WSL is in for the long haul. Another Pipeline debacle on her watch would not be a good look for 2019. One thing I do know about Teahupoo is that the yearly contest is a vital part of the local economy.
Mendes squeaked past Zietz and Yago Dora went high to defeat Tomas Hermes in the last heat of the day.
It was, as Jeremy Flores described it, “still a beautiful day”.
Tahiti Pro Remaining Round 2 Results:
Heat 4: Mikey Wright (AUS) 10.83 def. Miguel Pupo (BRA) 8.33
Heat 5: Ian Gouveia (BRA) 12.27 def. Griffin Colapinto (USA) 11.06
Heat 6: Owen Wright (AUS) 14.27 def. Joan Duru (FRA) 6.00
Heat 7: Michael February (ZAF) 7.67 def. Conner Coffin (USA) 7.60
Heat 8: Michael Rodrigues (BRA) 12.90 def. Keanu Asing (HAW) 11.37
Heat 9: Kanoa Igarashi (JPN) 12.17 def. Matt Wilkinson (AUS) 10.37
Heat 10: Jeremy Flores (FRA) 9.90 def. Patrick Gudauskas (USA) 9.70
Heat 11: Jesse Mendes (BRA) 10.03 def. Sebastian Zietz (HAW) 9.70
Heat 12: Yago Dora (BRA) 14.57 def. Tomas Hermes (BRA) 7.83
Tahiti Pro Round 3 Matchups:
Heat 1: Jordy Smith (ZAF) vs. Michael February (ZAF)
Heat 2: Michael Rodrigues (BRA) vs. Ezekiel Lau (HAW)
Heat 3: Wade Carmichael (AUS) vs. Jesse Mendes (BRA)
Heat 4: Owen Wright (AUS) vs. Joel Parkinson (AUS)
Heat 5: Adriano De Souza (BRA) vs. Kanoa Igarashi (JPN)
Heat 6: Filipe Toledo (BRA) vs. Tikanui Smith (PYF)
Heat 7: Gabriel Medina (BRA) vs. Wiggolly Dantas (BRA)
Heat 8: Kolohe Andino (USA) vs. Frederico Morais (PRT)
Heat 9: Mikey Wright (AUS) vs. Yago Dora (BRA)
Heat 10: Michel Bourez (PYF) vs. Connor O’Leary (AUS)
Heat 11: Adrian Buchan (AUS) vs. Jeremy Flores (FRA)
Heat 12: Italo Ferreira (BRA) vs. Ian Gouveia (BRA)
Bravo for the article. Every contest runned in poor conditions is boring to watch
+ benefits the lesser talented (safe) surfers.
I have wondered lately if the WSL felt they may have rushed the surf ranch contract after seeing the Waco footage. surely the Waco would be an easier product to sell. crowd closer to the action, short, sweet and plentiful waves. surely no shortage of punters who would flock to it. if you get bored take a booze tube for a spin. do non surfers really understand the intricacies of tube riding? surely seeing someone throw some spray and launch a 540 revert (thanks Chris) is easier to appreciate for the target audience the WSL is dreaming of capturing.
keep a half dozen select venues in prime waves for grumpy old salts to watch, lower the broadcast budget (drop a few commentators and have 2 stable ex pros joined by current competitors). reduce the field to 24. less quantity. more quality.
I’m starting to feel kind of sorry for the WSL. It’s obvious from Dirk’s message and from the facebook hand wringing that they are actually reading sites like this (which makes an audience of a few thousand?). What they need to do at this point in time is talk to those that are putting up the money (and it aint us) and tell them how they are going to get the ship back on an even keel. And by that I mean the surf companies and the regional governments who write the checks, and give them some sort of reassurance that it’s not all going to collapse in a screaming heap come 1st of January. I am no surf company cheerleader but they are the ones that put up the money (well, half of it these days). What are they getting in return?
I worry that it is going to fail and Dirk will walk away thinking what a bunch of ungrateful bastards these surfers are.
And we’ll be left with something like the old world championships with historic events like Bells and Pipe hanging on and all the others falling by the wayside. Hell, maybe it will end up like the majors in Golf and Tennis.
Unfortunately for the pro surfers I think the future is a tour with much lower prize money like it was before the two-tier tour. The wave pool might end up being a specialty event all on its own and get its own TV rights. At least they’ll be able to schedule it in advance.
Good point, could end up like bodyboarding did, didn’t the bottom totally fall out of their tour? We all bitch and moan, but would there be a beach grit parasite without the WSL host?
WSL should hit up Cigarette and Betting websites to fund their tour, of course I have no idea, but while the EU and maybe America have banned cigarette sponsorship, surely Fiji and some other “exotic” locations may have lax laws about such things, especially if it brings money into the local economy!
LWSS, I am pretty sure those assurances have been given manifold and backed up with contracts etc.
I too have some sympathy for the WSL, and wonder if they yet fully realise what they’ve been underwriting for the past five and a half years. Pro surfing’s DNA is fascinating, it’s part sport, part adventure, and part basically what Malcolm McLaren once called “The Great Rock-n-Roll Swindle”. It’s always relied on tricking somebody out of some money at some level. But my sympathy’s just a little bit lessened after that speech thing.
Dunno LongTom…. wasn’t Wayne the CEO who delivered the sport to it’s sponsors? He certainly did not “free” the sport… mixed bag my man.
But nothing is more true than the Ziff org being incapable of building a new tour off the broken pieces of the old. They’re not creative enough, don’t understand the nuances enough to even grasp the only actual audience they hold. They’re make up artists trying to push an actress onstage who never intended to perform for a bigger screen than her dilapidated old theatre. Social media and “partnering” can not put Humpty Dumpty back to together again.
So I say here and now, hire the Hippy to be the new king of the WSL. I’ll sell my two business’ now (you’re all welcomed) and implement the plan I typed for a blog 10 years ago. The premise is simple.
Plan the tour like you would a surf trip.
But you’d have to have done that you’re entire life to think like that. You’d have to be a surfer who waits for sets. You’d have to be a surfer that grasps how special everything is when it comes together.
Kelly’s pool is like a batting cage, super fun, but you can’t film a sport from a practice facility.
Ziff’s analyst just updated his projections for 2019’s WSL Profit & Loss sheet in terms him and Kelly can understand. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
There is more they could do. Sometime a few years back they started scoring wave size so much more weighty, now surfers sit for their 2 set waves and safety surf them. Previous to that it was outcry about scoring high risk single maneuvers with 10’s, so to be honest, it seems the last thing Sophie should listen to is any of us.
Why would she ? We’re the demographic of grumpy locals that WSL dont give a fuck about. If the Wsl is successful and more people surf and breaks get more crowded why should they care so long as they can run contests and make money.
Thats the way of a Waterman.
I said it in reference to Andrew insinuating that the fallout from the Founders Cup made Sophie change direction on pools
All good.
I have been known to misinterpret things and head off on a rant.
One of my many failings.
Why bother wasting the time misinterpreting things. Just head off on a rant anyway, like me!
who is Andrew?
Prince Andrew, brother to the Prince of Wales and the Royal Wave Pool of Snowdonia ?
You?.. I think! Haha.
“The Way of the Waterman” ….by Ziify and the WSL
“The Way of the Wavestorm”…
If only Ziff the waterman could wave a storm Tahiti’s way ?
They gotta just have 10 spots on tour in world class waves with longer event windows so they can just chase swells.
then cut the number of competitors to say 20/24.
Then make it a $100 subscription to watch it.
Nothing worse than watching 3ft Tahiti.
Plus we want a world champ that has to surf well in big barrels.
There is still Pipe, and anyone getting their asterisks ready for Toledo’s championship is misguided, the tour tests multiple conditions, and if you are good enough across the board you are deemed the best surfer in the world, it’s fair enough, if you don’t think it has any legitimacy then there is no point in watching it! Edit: Sorry I didn’t read your comment, I’m stuck outside Zara while the girlfriend is spending all my money, I’m in no mans land! Agree with the longer swell windows and the better waves, and I would pay a subscription, but would the other 1199 WSL fans pay it?
we’ve been having that on a steady rate lately, gabs, ads, jjf…
Yeah we’ve been spoilt. I’m more concerned about the evernts and having such short windows. I’d rather have a better product and pay for it.
thats why a go to the brothel…
Soon it’ll be the Walmart Pro Tour.
There’s more juice to be squeezed from the story of that guy who stole a plane in Seattle. There’s video showing the guy doing loops in a plane he’s never flown. In fact, he doesn’t have a license. It has got the investigators puzzled as to where he gathered not just pilot, but stunt pilot skills. As it turns out, he liked playing video games. So, when Kelly and the WSL release “Kelly Slater WSL Pro Surf Rancher” on X-Box, it stands to reason some dope, or nerd, or non-surfer can log game time on X-Box and appear at Surf Ranch busting 540 loops having learned that cowshit on a video game. The future is bright. Blindingly, stingingly and stunningly so.
Right on point! But don’t forget: in the end, the guy will crash on a remote island. It’s not the fall that kills you…
Good analogy. As for aww shucks everyman fuckface who stole the plane, commit suicide on your own time. It ain’t a movie; real people trying to get on with their real lives live in those houses underneath the fucking massive jetliner you are not remotely qualified to operate. People live on the island you crashed into and set aflame. People have to live with the once beautiful old forest you scarred and charred. Taxpayers will pay millions wiping up your joyride.
Next time do us all a favor and go for autoerotic asphyxiation to the ultimate happy ending
That’s a bit Inxsive and leaves me gasping for Breath ?
Clever words and smooth fast talking
Shove it Brother, just keep walking.
*What did Kolohe say to vex him so?
I don’t know Pie. I will have to think about that one . Wondering if anyone saw the reference to Tim Winton’s Breath which also broached the subject ?
Spot on mate
Hah, I love you Longtom. Fn nailed it .
Chas: Oops! you did it again! You’ve taken down another CT surfer. Griffin’s graveyard spiral is now official…!!!
If I want to get Barreled I’ll just get Kelly to hold my hand while surfing the Ranch
Truth is the WSL is a league nearly 998 people actually care about. And I’m one of them. I also like car crashes.
I used to watch Thomas the Tank Engine for the crashes
Ooooooohhhhh the indignity
Here I am giving Longtom upvotes because I feel bad that he has to watch the event. You mean people enjoy this shit?
Wilko sure as shit didnt !
The post heat interview was rough.
He held it together tho.
apart from his voice breaking a few times, yes.
No tears.
Nothing, just nothing going his way.
Rough patch for him.
If you can call a million dollar property in Byron a rough patch
Has he ? Well, good on him.
We’ve all seen millionaires piss it all up against the wall – 5 years later, broke and back working their day jobs for fukall. Matt strikes me as one of the few on the ct I’d like to have a few beers with. Came from nothing and only there through ability. Good luck to him.
New Head Judge ? Not to mention the loss of Fiji ,holding the Rio Pro at that draining backwash barrel , dodgy Snapper,Uluwatu and now Tahiti being super friendly to backside surfing , has definitely made it a tough year for goofies on tour .
He really looked lost didn’t he
the Billabong thing happened very quietly didn’t it. interesting the wossle is happy to support “chope-oh” and not cloudbreak..
Who knows, lorne ?
The OK pullout from Fiji and WSL involvement was never really explained.
Some noise about local government officials iirc. But that was about it.
Wait until WSL release next years schedule, I spose.
oh don’ t you know, that next years Schedule is the same as this years?
I await with baited breath, Brutus.
Much will be revealed.
oh we know now that France and Portugal are the same time next year , so why not Pipe?
Kelly was into Tavarua when they had exclusive right to the wave, feels special connection to the people. Government let other people into the wave, maybe that’s part of wsl and Kelly strong arming Fiji gov to give exclusive wave rights back to Tavarua?
Billabong withdrew from the naming rights of this event way back in 2017. See, at the beginning of the exciting New Era back in 2014, the naming rights people who’d been in possession of an event for a decade or more got a serious discount on their first year’s naming rights fee, like 40% off or more in some cases. (At least one sponsor, Oakley, bailed on their Bali event when they weren’t afforded the same luxury cut, since they hadn’t been around long enough.) This fee was then set to increase slowly over several years, until on the fifth year, it was up past where it was originally set at a bit over a mill. It just got too rich for BB which was in the midst of a scary year of being on the anvil awaiting purchase by Boardriders Inc. So this event had no 2018 naming rights sponsor from the outset. It was thus announced on the WSL schedule for 2018, which was released in November 2017.
appreciate the insight.
i can’t help but be curious what actual benefit the surf companies get from running these events. if Quiksilver stopped sponsoring the Quik Pro Gold Coast (or more likely France) would your casual surf fan be less inclined to buy Quiksilver?
I think the co’s perspective on this has changed a lot over the years. Rip Curl’s DNA for instance is fully lodged in the development of pro surfing from day dot for both the company and the sport. Quik has beena bit schizophrenic on it, especially as the company grew, some of the crew were super in favour of the pro thing and others were less so, thinking that they could kinda farm out the contest running side of things to others, and just focus on staying cool and having the best team. Billabong’s DNA was less enmeshed than Rippy’s but became way more so in the 1980s as Gordon M focused on the idea that pro surfing could broaden the market for their gear and also strengthen the sport’s cultural base. When they all got hectically rich in the late 1990s plus, they had the bucks to do whatever they want, and were very sure of themselves as far as semi owning the culture and not letting anyone take it off ‘em. In any case the pro tour has been a massive way of showcasing their teams and gear and all that across the whole surfing world over many years. Talk to some big guns today and they will say it wasn’t as important as it seemed at the time though — that what really sold all that surf gear was palm trees and tropical water, not competitive surfing at all.