Chippa Wilson
Nobody hucks like Chip.

Essential viewing: Chris “Chippa” Wilson in “Jeepers! Does this thing go backwards?”

The best film release of 2018!

Has it really been ten years since little Chris Wilson, barely out of his teens, appeared on my boxy laptop screen? I remember the moment well for Chris, who was nicknamed Chippa after the ’60s TV show My Three Sons (kid in the show was cute-as-a-button Chip Douglas),was a competitor in a talent contest my magazine was running and it was if he atomised every other surfer with the one clip.

“This is like seeing Dane Reynolds for the first time,” I said aloud.

Of course he won the contest, which was called Little Weeds, by the most stupid margin and has gone on to make a career as a pro surfer.

Last week, Chip released an eleven-minute film called Video Number Four and it’s as if we’re seeing the now thirty one year old for the very first time again. The surfing contained within is scarcely believable. Chip takes you in a choke-hold and and refuses to acknowledge your tapping hand. It is graphic and thorny and, let’s be honest here, the best surf film release of the year.

Or am I missing something?

Watch! No, really. Watch. 

(Five years ago, I interviewed Chip on all manner of topics. Read below.)

BeachGrit: What do you do for kicks?

Chip: I’ve been working on a new motorbike at home, an old 1977 Kawasaki 100 road bike. It’s black and green with army green tank and fenders. It’s a good little bike, super rare. My friend at Byron at Thrills, Ryan, he Instagrammed a photo of it and I jumped on it. Hustled it down a bit and got it. I’ve also got this project in Cali where I’m chasing a 400 Honda and a big Ford van, somewhere you can toss your moto in the back and just cruise. That’s the dream.

Motos are great for kicks. And they kick back. It’s addicting! I’m getting my license this weekend. I’ve been riding but I don’t wanna lose my license before I get it. And, yeah, it’s dangerous and you can kill yourself. That’s a setback. I’m going to be dressing to crash, f’sure.

What do you love and what do you hate about where you live? Everything is so… easy. Just so green. It ain’t too overbuilt yet. I’ve lived there since I was one so it’s home. What do I hate? I hate it when there’s no surf and the surf’s shitty. But, pumping today, and yesterday, so all good in the hood.

Tell me all about your frontside 540, your new trick… My goal is to nail it by the end of the year.

Is it an air reverse kinda flat spin or an alley oop spin? Air reverse flat spin. It’s not inverted so it looks more crazy. From there it’s only one more tweak to a 720, two full revs… A 720 is gnarly, a 540 is weird enough. That last 180 is fucking trippy. You’re doing a 180 when you shouldn’t. Although the more you practise the more normal it becomes. Every time I’ve gotten close it’s been a pretty big wave, with a lot of speed, and a good wind. You need power and push to buck…

Were you bullied as a kid or did you bully? When I was super young, like at primary school, I had a strong lisp and I got bullied. But then, that’s what kids do. They’d copy what I was saying and tease me. Same old shit. Poor little Chippa, eh?

He’s doing alright now. Ha! I ended up fixing the lisp myself.

Did you ever bullyNo way. I wasn’t into that. But, yeah, all kids do it to a certain extent.

What’s the meanest thing you’ve done to somebody? Shaved eyebrows when the boys have been passed out. Dumb shit. But nothing real mean. I kinda sound like a pussy. I’ve been in a fight or two. Maybe a punch in the head is the meanest thing I’ve done.

How does a situation in your life escalate to conflict? I only fight when I really have to, me getting punched in the head or sticking up for myself. I’ve only really been in two fights and the last one I blacked out, full of rage, and won. I was in Bali and some dude smashed his beer into my fish bowl drink. I got up and punched on. I remember I was on top of him on the ground. All the bouncers came and I got up and walked out of there.

Do girls ever send you explicit letters with accompanying photos? I feel like you’ve gotta be in the game to get that stuff from crazy creeps. I’ve got a gal so I deleted my Facebook.

How about our new pal Snapchat? …that why I haven’t got it. That’s where it’s going to happen.

What about those tattoo gals? You’re a pinup for self art. My friend Ben Grillo, he’s a real good tattoo artist from California, he made a few tattoos on my knuckles and he put the portraits on Instagram and he tagged me on the photos. I had 20 completely tattooed gals hitting me up, liking all my photos. Super weird.

What do you think about yourself?  Mellow. Tatted up. Shy. Put me on a stage with am microphone and I’d choke up and walk off.

Do you care what people think of you? Everyone does. If they have a strong opinion, it’d be good if they told you. If they got it wrong, I do kinda care.

What is your favourite season? Right now. Autumn in Australia. I like cold nights and cold mornings. I dig winter too so from here until a little after August. Nice offshore winds in the morning, full suits, coffee, it’s insane. I can’t stand summer here. It’s way too hot. In winter you can always find a place to get warm. In summer you’re completely fucked.

What’s been your most memorable experience ever? Getting my first house and moving out of home. I went thirds with my older brother and a good mate and we all moved in together. I always had so much respect for my mum and dad’s house and it was always in the back of my head if I brought people back. In our house, it was a free for all. You come home and you can make a mess, have fun, party, drink all night and turn the music up loud.

What do you do when you feel sad or depressed? Lately, it’s been the crazy fucked up shit going on in the world. That’s sad and that’s depressing. I was in America when that Boston stuff happened. And on the way over on the plane there was a lady sitting in front of me with a Boston Marathon t-shirt and a tiny little kid. She was flying over to do it. As soon as I saw the news, I thought about her and that little kid. That type of weird shit gets me sad.

What’s your favourite time of the day? Morning. I like to see what it brings. Some days I get up and I have no motivation to do anything. But some days are good and you get up and surf and you’re super productive.

What’s your bad quality? I get lazy on the internet and having to write back to people. If I don’t do it when I have to, It’s going to take a while.

If there is one thing you’d die for, what is it? I’d die for a coffee right now. I’m sitting across from Gloria Jeans and it smells that good.

Who has had the most influence in your life? I’m always looking up to people who are ahead of me. I’ve always looked up to Craig Anderson. I could see how good he was. He was king and he’s still killing it. It’s insane. My old man’s been good. He’s a carpenter and he’s still working so goddamned hard.

Do you solve many problems in the car? No, but I make a few phone calls which can solve things.
On a scale of one to 10, rate me as an interviewer… I’m going to toss you a nine. You actually talk back and not talk like you’re reading off a teleprompter. I get some where it feels like I’m talking to a computer.

Blood Feud: Joel Tudor vs. Noa Deane in creative battle royale!

sad times :(

What would surfing be without Joel Tudor? I’ll tell you what. A bland smögåsbord featuring tasteless post-heat interviews and “surfing makes you stoked” platitudes. Joel brings the spice and today he is pouring it all over one of my very favorite surfers Noa Deane.

I’ve never met Noa, personally, but have always appreciated his attitude. He seems not to care what you think, what I think, what anyone thinks. He drinks beer, gets pudgy, rips, slims down and starts again. A true rock n roll lifestyle and those are ever diminishing in our surfing. Do you remember when Rabbit Bartholomew acted exactly like Mick Jagger? I don’t either.

In any case, Joel Tudor is angry with Noa Deane this morning for artistic appropriation and, quite possibly cultural appropriation too. Let’s examine ourselves. I’ll be the impartial judge, presenting the evidence coldly and without emotion. You be the jury, delivering the verdict in the comments below.


So Joel posted this on Instagram today:

Sad to see the lack of creativity in our industry- first logo is a native moon …second is @delhiero from 1990 – the third is our label @doublesltd stared earlier this year …number 4 is blatant bite of our logo done by @ilovetables today – always knew people were watching my shit …just didn’t know it was this bad – sad times 🙁

By “native moon” I’m assuming Joel means a Native American rendering, quite possibly of a moon, and a quick Google search corroborates. The second that he references (delhiero) is actually Del the Funky Homosapien. Do you remember him from the early to middle 1990s? Absolutely fantastic. If I’m not mistaken he has done some work with the Gorillaz recently though let’s not get distracted here.

The third (doublesltd) appears to be a new and very popular brand in which Joel must be involved. Everything in the store is sold out. Fail to buy here!

And the last is of course Noa Deane’s though I don’t know from where as I can’t find it.

Now, instructions for the jury. There is a veritable Rubik’s Cube of possible charges. The first is cultural appropriation for all of them, a very very very serious crime in today’s climate, where Del the Funky Homosapien, Joel Tudor and Noa Deane get locked up in a Native American prison for life without the possibility of parole. Another is artistic theft of Del the Funky Homosapien by Joel Tudor. Yet another is artistic theft of Joel Tudor by Noa Deane. And a final is some sort of alien time travel artistic theft of Noa Deane by the Native Americans.

The jury here, on BeachGrit, decides both guilt and the penalty. Most upvotes wins.

From the we-didn’t-get-the-exclusive department: Occy’s wavepool opens for testing!

“It’s so big! It’s so deep! It doesn’t look real!” says 1999 world champion Occ.

Right now, like right now, a sturdy contingent of WQS-level Australian pro surfers are swinging their stakes in the Occy and Barton Lynch-endorsed wave pool called Surf Lakes.

The pool had its first official test run yesterday, with Occy and his son Jay riding the opening wave at Occy’s Peak; Barton Lynch rode the A-Frame and got a small barrel on the left.

Other surfers arriving to test the pool include Mitch Crews, Flick Palmateer, Conner O’Leary, Laura Enever, the fantastic super kid Dakoda Walters from Angourie and, possibly, Joel Parkinson and Dean Morrison later today.

Surf Lakes is a a full-sized demonstration model located midway between the Queensland towns of Yeppoon and Rockhampton and uses a giant plunger to create waves, unlike the sled-foil combo of the Slater pool and Wavegarden and the air pressure game of American Wave Machines.

“We had our first waves yesterday but we’re not at 100 percent capacity yet. We at around forty percent,” says media director and former Tracks magazine editor Wayne Dart, who says the first waves were two, maybe three foot. “We’re analysing all the numbers, making sure we can get it to full size and not break it, essentially. But, this afternoon, there’ll be waves that are overhead. From an engineering perspective, all the numbers are matching. We’re confident it will handle full-tilt.”

I say to Dart that it sounds a little Apollo mission-esqe, pushing the technology into the unknown, risking catastrophic breakdowns, and so forth.

“Walk around the actual structure and it actually feels like a rocket launcher,” he says.

Dart says the technology, the jumbo plunger, has exceeded expectations.

It’s surreal. You look at the footage and it looks like an artist’s impression. You’ve got trees and mountains in the background and this crystal clear green wave breaking down the line.”

“Mate, it was unbelievable. The thing is mind-blowing. Everything about it. The technology and just the sheer beauty of the backdrop and surrounds. It’s surreal. You look at the footage and it looks like an artist’s impression. You’ve got trees and mountains in the background and this crystal clear green wave breaking down the line.”

Is it a noisy son of a bitch?

“The movement of the plunger is dead silent but there’s engine noise from the generators. In a full commercial model you can configure it so there’s no noise at all. And if you use renewable energy, it’d be silent.”

Has it got a filter or do you not fear the brain-gobbling amoeba?

“We’re chlorinating the water, with pool guys testing it every day so it meets regulations.”

There are four waves in the pool: the A-Frame, Occy’s Peak, a beachbreak-style wave and “further around, a wave that stands up on this ledge and rifles down the line. We’ll get to that one today.”

Footage gets loosed on Monday.

Hoo-ee etc.

(Watch a short film from earlier this year as the pool neared completion.)

Breaking: Sea level rise is wiping Hawaii off the face of the earth!

How much longer will Oahu's North Shore be around?

In a widely expected but also completely unexpected turn of events, sea level rise and increased hurricane strength has disappeared a small island belonging to the Hawaiian chain. And let us turn to Honolulu’s Civil Beat (one of the best resources around) for more:

Hurricane Walaka, one of the most powerful Pacific storms ever recorded, has erased an ecologically important remote northwestern island from the Hawaiian archipelago.

Using satellite imagery, federal scientists confirmed Monday that East Island, a critical habitat for endangered Hawaiian monk seals and green sea turtles, was almost entirely washed away earlier this month.

“I had a holy shit moment, thinking ‘Oh my God, it’s gone,’” said Chip Fletcher, a University of Hawaii climate scientist. “It’s one more chink in the wall of the network of ecosystem diversity on this planet that is being dismantled.”

I am no scientist nor am I an alarmist nor am I an ecologist but I do have a fever (still) so feel permitted to weigh in here.

Do you think that World Surf League CEO had this information available, that sea-level rise was going to knock out Hawaii, when she flew to Honolulu with bullish demands? Insisting that the WSL season should begin on the North Shore and not end there? Do you think she was worried about the North Shore being entirely vanished by the time the WSL rolled in to town in December?

Many things to ponder.


Watch: Kelly Slater on The Joe Rogan Experience!

Come learn everything you ever wanted to know!

This should have been up the second it dropped but I came down with a raging fever last night, a historic fever that’s still burning through my body. It is difficult to see the computer screen right now because sweat is pouring into my eyes but there are no excuses. Kelly Slater has a broken foot and made it onto The Joe Rogan Experience. I have a fever and should have posted the video of him on The Joe Rogan Experience sooner and I am sorry.

Is it malaria? Maybe. Ain’t it strange how travel plants exotic diseases deep into the travelers bones where viruses and bacterias and etc. lie semi-dormant before pouncing? Between the sexually transmitted variety and the tropical travel variety I’d reckon surfers have more exotic diseases than any other first-ish world population group. Definitely more than golfers. I don’t even know, in fact, if any exotic diseases besides the common cold and tuberculosis are hearty enough to live in Scotland. J.P. Currie? Can you weigh in here?

Damn it. Sweat.

Here, anyhow, is Kelly and Joe, Joe and Kelly and, real quick, do you think Kelly regretted wearing a white t-shirt to the taping? Joe and Kelly could/should/maybe are twinsies.