Born in the ghetto, learned to swim and surf at 18, six-figure contract with Quiksilver, best-selling author and, soon, movie star?
Nazaré, Portugal, last Sunday. Biblical crowd lining the cliffs, several dozen adoring online fans watching the live FB broadcast. The WSL, responding to a boisterous forecast that promised a very good chance of the very biggest waves ever ridden in the world, ever, broadcast the tow-surfing sessions.
The commentary featured a variety of big wave legends in the booth between go outs, most notably Makuakai Rothman and Garrett McNamara, who were actually very good value, didn’t you think?
Alas, Huey had to go and fuck us all over.
“Biggest hoax in surfing history,” said one disgruntled spectator.
He had a point. The swell was way too west to do the nuclear teepee thing, and thus, about the half the size. Nevertheless, some of the gnarliest shred-lords in the universe were on the rope and giving it a good crack.
About lunchtime, a lone, bald paddler appeared stroking his way in towards the first peak from around the point.
“Who dat guy?” said G-Mac.
“Wooaah,” said Makua. “Paddling?”
“What he riding?” wondered G-Mac. “Look like a 9’6” or something.”
Turns out, in a sea of jet exhaust, one brave Frenchman decided it was in fact more much more of a paddle day. He went for one, kinda got sucked over, tried to duckdive(!) some whitewaters before ending up on the sand. The camera duly zoomed in on our new hero on the beach, blowing a bit but defiant, a five-year-old Paris St Germain football jersey over the top of a Decathlon wetsuit.
(Go to 1.34:09 on the live stream)
“That’s so irresponsible,” said someone holding a walkie talkie (which, btw in French, is talkie walkie).
“He’s jeopardising the safety protocol,” grumbled another.
“He doesn’t even have his own ski.”
“He’s not even on the right equipment.’. Etc, etc.
Someone else, who wasn’t part of the big wave safety scene, perhaps summed it up better.
“If that cunt doesn’t get a root tonight….”
Turns out our man is Karim Braire, who appeared on TF1’s (France’s national broadcaster) prime time 7 à 8 show last year with an incredible backstory.
The v.o. went something like:
“He grew up in the ghettos of Orléans. At 18, unable to swim and hundreds of km’s from the ocean, he chanced upon a surf magazine and decided to become a surfer. He signed a six-figure contract with Quiksilver, and now he’s one of the best surfers in the world.”
With such a compelling rags-to-rad story, the media appearances kept on coming. Several other TV channels in France gave him airtime. His biography, ‘Zarma Sunset’ received rave reviews and got optioned for a film by top French actor/producer Dany Boon.
That’s when the trouble started.
Turns out, rather than use footage of himself surfing for the TV shows, Karim had used clips of Justine Dupont surfing instead.
“A guy using shots of a girl to show ‘his exploits’, that’s a first!” said Justine on Twitter.
“Never seen a trace of a Quiksilver contract in his name,” said Quik’s Miky Picon via a French surf website.
But with the French pro surf scene writhing in condemnation, was Karim put off?
Apparently not.
He stuck to surfing, training, waiting for the biggest tow day forecast in surfing history to relaunch himself into the spotlight, undergunned and underjetski’d.
Having made the long walk back up the cliffs to the fort, Karim was understandably keen for a bit of live webcast time. If you watch back the stream, you can see him dying to get in on an interview roaming reporter Shannon Reporting (no relation to Hanalei Reponty) was doing with an Irish fireman.
(Around 2.00:51)
The interview wasn’t forthcoming. “It’s too small today, much too small for tow,” he told me. “I paddle.”
Is Karim Braire the most fascinating surfer alive today? I couldn’t help but think so.
Because as the old cliché goes, there’s plenty of arguing with the guy in the tube.
But there’s no arguing with the guy calling the entire big-wave fraternity pussies by paddling big Naz in a hundred dollar Decathlon wetsuit (booties €12.99).
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If no surfer has ever heard of the guy, there’s a reason. It turns out he’s incarcerated for torture, rape and physical abuse on his wife and kids, while awaiting judgement. Another attention seeking psychopath according to this french news article from Dec 15th, 2025: https://www.20minutes.fr/justice/4191526-20251215-karim-braire-fausse-gloire-surf-jugee-viols-tortures
This guy’s story is a ripoff of Sterling Spenser’s movie Gold which is a masterpiece.
and you replying means you want to join?
If you’ll have me
But I’ll have to ask my mum
Awkward!
They paying him big bucks so he can kill time riding guns while waiting for his Sup licence to come through… maybe?
A new character
From Sacha Baron Cohen
Surfing has made it
Just watched the WSL feed around that 1.34 mark you suggested and would say 40 foot yeh? or to maybe 6-8 foot give or take. Maybe its the camera angle.
If I’m to be truthful, I didn’t spend too much time dwelling on the waves. I was laughing so hard!
Beachgrit should do a documentary on this guy. It would be amazing. Chas interviewing Karim whilst sitting along the Champs-Élysées, Chas wearing his fancy loafers, Karim wearing quicksilver…
Justine Dupont photo-bombing the frame trying to get some interview action
He looks suspiciously like that cunt from Dubai with the quivers of ugly-as-fuck Losts who can’t surf worth a shit but calls himself a pro.
It would be a lot funnier if he didn’t have a clear mental illness.
Bipolar 1
In comparison to the last famous delusional character from Orléans ,Joan d’Arc who was burnt at the stake for pissing off the English speaking world (which was limited at the time ) it seems that Karim got off lightly and the only thing that could burn him at Nazaré were Jet Skis . He might be trying to acclimatize to them before he turns up at and wins the first CT of 2019 at Snapper ?
“he chanced upon a surf magazine and decided to become a surfer. He signed a six-figure contract with Quiksilver, and now he’s one of the best surfers in the world.”
Ah! I see where I’ve gone wrong.
I should’ve signed a six-figure contract with a major label first, THEN start learning to surf.
Damn.
Strange order of events – no wonder people won’t wear Quicksilver… but maybe they could pay us to.
Unfortunately, that cunt did not get a root that night because he has a filthy poo stance. Technically that’s not surfing.
I thought the same – adult learner style.
Is that such a crime? https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
The crime is Quicksilver’s
Instinctive! https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Click here for the sequence! https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Someone needs to translate this parody vid for us language-deficient folk. Seems like he’s already been the butt/darling of the french surf media for 18 months…
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
The guy in the video calls himself Dr. Boursmol which could be translated “soft balls”, he makes mockumentaries on surfing in France and is pretty accurate and funny. Here he mocks Karim by playing a girl from Orleans named Karine (a french female first name) who didn’t know how to swim and began a journey to become one of the best surfer in the world, inspired by Karim’s book. He mimics the actual TV show that showcased Karim in the first place. Here Karin tells how she lost an arm to a shark in a swimming pool when applying to become lifeguard then goes to Hawaï not knowing how to stand on a surfboard and enters the pipe masters after 20 days and meets all dead surfers (AI, Eddy Aikau, the Duke, Mark Foo, Rell Sun etc…), then signs a 6 fig contract with Quik, then teaches Kelly how to surf before he becomes champ, then surfs a tsunami in Japan. She throughs a “shakira” instead of a shaka as a conclusion…a portrait not very far from the actual Karim!
You are a true gift to us wretched monolingualists! Merci beaucoup
Click here if you think Dman is a closet hetero.
That poor wave. This bloke is a fucken criminal. Bring back the guillotine for this froggie bastard. I hope this cunt’s 6 figure salary is in fucken rupiah. You’ve got to be kidding me. Christ.
stick your nose a little furthur up the WSLs ass
Pick a handle and stick to it…
only handle i have ever had.
Your a pushy cunt aren’t ya
Bet your a high school teacher
Just been around comment boards for awhile and know how they get boring/lame then die… pretty keen for that not to happen here.
Speaking of which, have been deleting a few of yours from last night. You’re starting to sound like a Tracks mag letter to the editor from 1993. I’m guessing due to the timeframe some drunken commenting?
Come on negs
Ya cut me to the bone
Who made you in charge?
Its like the pope’s taken over but I reckon he’d leave half the shit you deemed tracks 93.
I fear for the groms fuck!!
That’s a down vote for me
He surfs like me! Any sponsors out there wanna give me a go? Outerknown? Ke11y are you reading this? (or is your phone chilling out in the pool)
maybe he got rooted , those French are a bit Ac/DC!
If your an aussie
Give yself a laksa enema
This guy’s a joke, the biggest scam in France’s surfing history! He’s dying for attention and for any occasion to tell his fake fairytale story to the media. The most fascinating lier in the game.
he might just make president.
Make surfing great again…
Nobody calls me a hero when I get humiliated in my €40 Aldi wetsuit and foamie on a two foot day…
I do
Oh and this guy, err the part favor.