Born in the ghetto, learned to swim and surf at 18, six-figure contract with Quiksilver, best-selling author and, soon, movie star?
Nazaré, Portugal, last Sunday. Biblical crowd lining the cliffs, several dozen adoring online fans watching the live FB broadcast. The WSL, responding to a boisterous forecast that promised a very good chance of the very biggest waves ever ridden in the world, ever, broadcast the tow-surfing sessions.
The commentary featured a variety of big wave legends in the booth between go outs, most notably Makuakai Rothman and Garrett McNamara, who were actually very good value, didn’t you think?
Alas, Huey had to go and fuck us all over.
“Biggest hoax in surfing history,” said one disgruntled spectator.
He had a point. The swell was way too west to do the nuclear teepee thing, and thus, about the half the size. Nevertheless, some of the gnarliest shred-lords in the universe were on the rope and giving it a good crack.
Dylan Longbottom took a 50-footer on the head and eventually got picked up a mere few metres from the cliffs. Justine Dupont snagged some bombs. Lucas Chianca, Kai Lenny, Sebastian Steudtner, Mikey Brennan, Rodrigo Koxa, Carlos Burle, G-Mac, Makua, Pete Mel, Andrew Cotton were all in the mix at various points. Ooohs and Aaaaahs from cliff, with occasional fodasse caralhos (fucking hell!)
About lunchtime, a lone, bald paddler appeared stroking his way in towards the first peak from around the point.
“Who dat guy?” said G-Mac.
“Wooaah,” said Makua. “Paddling?”
“What he riding?” wondered G-Mac. “Look like a 9’6” or something.”
Turns out, in a sea of jet exhaust, one brave Frenchman decided it was in fact more much more of a paddle day. He went for one, kinda got sucked over, tried to duckdive(!) some whitewaters before ending up on the sand. The camera duly zoomed in on our new hero on the beach, blowing a bit but defiant, a five-year-old Paris St Germain football jersey over the top of a Decathlon wetsuit.
“That’s so irresponsible,” said someone holding a walkie talkie (which, btw in French, is talkie walkie).
“He’s jeopardising the safety protocol,” grumbled another.
“He doesn’t even have his own ski.”
“He’s not even on the right equipment.’. Etc, etc.
Someone else, who wasn’t part of the big wave safety scene, perhaps summed it up better.
“If that cunt doesn’t get a root tonight….”
Turns out our man is Karim Braire, who appeared on TF1’s (France’s national broadcaster) prime time 7 à 8 show last year with an incredible backstory.
The v.o. went something like:
“He grew up in the ghettos of Orléans. At 18, unable to swim and hundreds of km’s from the ocean, he chanced upon a surf magazine and decided to become a surfer. He signed a six-figure contract with Quiksilver, and now he’s one of the best surfers in the world.”
With such a compelling rags-to-rad story, the media appearances kept on coming. Several other TV channels in France gave him airtime. His biography, ‘Zarma Sunset’ received rave reviews and got optioned for a film by top French actor/producer Dany Boon.
That’s when the trouble started.
Turns out, rather than use footage of himself surfing for the TV shows, Karim had used clips of Justine Dupont surfing instead.
“A guy using shots of a girl to show ‘his exploits’, that’s a first!” said Justine on Twitter.
“Never seen a trace of a Quiksilver contract in his name,” said Quik’s Miky Picon via a French surf website.
But with the French pro surf scene writhing in condemnation, was Karim put off?
Apparently not.
He stuck to surfing, training, waiting for the biggest tow day forecast in surfing history to relaunch himself into the spotlight, undergunned and underjetski’d.
Having made the long walk back up the cliffs to the fort, Karim was understandably keen for a bit of live webcast time. If you watch back the stream, you can see him dying to get in on an interview roaming reporter Shannon Reporting (no relation to Hanalei Reponty) was doing with an Irish fireman.
(Around 2.00:51)
The interview wasn’t forthcoming. “It’s too small today, much too small for tow,” he told me. “I paddle.”
Is Karim Braire the most fascinating surfer alive today? I couldn’t help but think so.
Because as the old cliché goes, there’s plenty of arguing with the guy in the tube.
But there’s no arguing with the guy calling the entire big-wave fraternity pussies by paddling big Naz in a hundred dollar Decathlon wetsuit (booties €12.99).
