A high-ish performance surfboard for the working man…
I am a husky, wrinkled old-timer with a harem of surfboards. Stubbornly intermediate is my level and most days I leave the surf emitting ughs of disgust at my performance.
Do you know the feels?
You’re…almost…there.
In the right conditions, on the right board, you’ll hit a lip, throw fins, maybe there’s an end-section foam climb to almost revert in there or an on-the-face reverse that takes four seconds and a frenzy of duck-paddling to ride out of.
On a bad day, you’re getting hung up in the lip, driving too far out on the face, avoiding sections and traversing set waves with your feet unable to get anywhere near the levers.
So I’m always looking for boards that forgive but don’t shut the door when you hit a little form.
Four years ago, I bought a custom Lost Puddle Jumper, right when they first came out (the harem, as we can all appreciate, is never quite complete). It was five-six, still with all its insane width, twenty-one inches…insane… but thinned out to hell, two-and-a-quarter inches in the middle, two-and-an-eighth on the rail.
For all the limitations of its width, it was a revelation of sorts.
Y’see, the general rule of the quasi-fish, hybrid, fun board (more ughs) is you squash the length down, stretch it out the middle and give it the rocker of an ironing board.
Anyone can ride ’em.
They’re stable to paddle and they don’t have to be surfed in the pocket. You can traverse an entire wave five yards from where the action is and make deep-water sections with nothing but a smug look on your face.
But piloting an easy-to-drive SUV down a freeway ain’t ever going compete with the satisfaction of pushing a Formula One around a difficult track.
The Puddle Jumper was different. It had the fat outline but it was married to performance rocker and bottom curve. The shaper, Californian Matt Biolos, had wanted to create what he called a “return to surfing” board after a knee injury had him landlocked for three months.
“I needed width as well as floatation,” says Biolos, “But I still wanted to turn.”
An easy-to-ride board that got its stable platform from the wide outline.
Like all boards, if you take something, in this case stability through width, you gotta lose something. Which meant the thing will give a little of that hi-fi feel but on the stable platform of the (again, ugh, ugh, ugh) fun board.
In a technical sense, “the centreline ( stringer ) rocker is pretty flat, we just fooled the curve by creating a hyper extended rail rocker, which counters the low, flat, over all rocker and allows much tighter arcs, when rolling over onto the rail,” says Biolos. “When simply trimming or pumping , it feels like a typical, down-the-line, fish or Simmons-esque plank. But on a rail, it really comes to life.”
A year after I got that thinned-out custom, I was in Bali with Biolos and we got into the CAD program AkuShaper. I wanted a pulled-in version of the Puddle Jumper. Less nose, less tail and I wanted to lose a few pounds off the girth (board and owner).
“That was the early adjustments leading to the Puddle Jumper High Performance,” says Biolos. “Reduce the nose area in the forward third and pull in the tail block in the last few inches.”
Lately, I’ve been on a PJ-HP and the diff between the original and the HP is marked. It ain’t gonna baby you quite so much but it ain’t gonna buck you off either. For the stubbornly intermediate surfer who might go backwards even ten surfs or land one air in every twenty, and who is missing a few too many sections on the original, it’s a pleasing improvement.
“The entry is flat enough that all but the most rudimentary of surfers can still get it up and going immediately, although it’s much quicker. The pulled-in nose reduces swing weight and gives the feeling of a set back wide point,” says Biolos. “Combined with the pulled-in tail block, it creates the hip effect between and under the rear foot. This allows aggressive small-wave wraps while still maintaining drive, without any shuffling of the feet.”
I’m 175, five-eleven (six-one in heels) and the five-seven, all thirty-one litres of it, treated me pretty good. I blew a fin box (board came with those damn fragile FCS II things) soon after it landed but it’ll be, upon repair, the board I loose in everything up to four feet.
To be transparent, I wanted this thing when it came out and promised this review in exchange for the free board.
If you’re better than intermediate, you’ll dig the speed but may find the limitations of the width and rocker in anything other than two-foot waves frustrating.
For me, and for you, I’m guessing, it’s a peach.
Furiously riding a high performance fatty?
I like the lost puddle jumper a lot but not quite as much as Nick Blairs Cabsav. In my opinion the best grovel board out there. Nicks the go to surfboard shaper in sydney if not australia right now. A great custom shaper that actually listens. you get exactly what you ask for and they are such sick small wave boards.
I prefer the term “terminal intermediate ” which applies to most things I do. Seeing as I’m a 58 year old who is happily putting on a clinic on how not to surf for beginners every time I go on vacation to Nicaragua I won’t even use that term to describe my non surfing ability. Ahhhhhh, the lack of self awareness is bliss!
Nice review. Biolos shapes em well for the proletariat.
“ I can jump puddles “ is an Australian Novel .The story of a young boy growing up with Polio in rural Victoria . Bet he never thought he’d have his own LOST model ?
vague recollections of having to read that in school. much like the thread a little further down, I used weed to enhance the experience. could be why its only a vague recollection.
I am pretty sure it was one of the books we were obliged to read in Year 7 English ? God I hated reading anything forced upon me . If only Tracks had been part of the syllabus with dangerous hints of politics , sex , drugs , rock n roll and surfing written by coastal dwellers for coastal dreamers and not landlocked kids playing with sheep on farms ……
is it any wonder that westies were treated as outcasts.
The best I can hope for on a “good day” is that my poo stance is only mildly offensive.
Apologies in advance for a sincere comment, but that was a helpful little write up. Here in Lib country the PJ is popular with my friends who seem use every bit of it’s forgiveness to their advantage and I’ve been wondering about the PJHP. Thanks!
I feel so marginalized by this board review article. So on the outside looking in. Like a fat man that can’t fit through the doorway, left only to admire from without with a plump cheek firmly pressed against the window. Damn you little skinny buggers. Damn you all straight to hell!
Looks more like sugar cookies dipped in chocolate.
“White peepo surf.com“
You’re 175? I’ve contacted The Guinness Book of Records and they’d like to see a birth certificate. Kudos on still surfing at 175 also. What’s your secret? Do you eat Kelly Slater Chia Pods?
more like he eats kelly.
Send me one and I’ll let you know what I think of it
And a foamy too for the missus
Got any wetties lying around?
Voodoo Child or gtfo.
I’ll be getting the fuck out. (But in the nicest possible way!)
Nah you are probably right. I should have invested in a Puddle instead of throwing a 100 bucks at a Foamy. xox
Softies are always a fine investment.
One got left under our new house. It’s a G-board 7’ something log, but I’ll give it a shot in the 2’ slop tomorrow.
Am I supposed to use wax on the foam??
Haha very good question. But always use marijuana on a foamy.
I miss getting baked.
My wife always said I smelled like cooked meat after I had a spliff, so I don’t think I’d get away with that either!
That’s a mind-fuck comment of the highest level! Friggen genius!
My ex girlfriend always said “that’s crack not weed! ” to which I replied, “beotch the bell is still ringing! Shut the fuck up and call The last number on my phone! “
I’m terribly sorry, but will someone please translate this?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Its a common telstra issue caused by cracks and weeds
Eat cucumber, like a banana, it will hydrate you and clean your teeth.
yes, if your surfing. if your pushing your little one in.. not so important.
That could be taken in a variety of ways.
I’ll assume you are referring to helping a child to surf, rather than an insult to my manhood.
BTW I found some old soft cold-water wax and rubbed it viscously onto the soft-top, so I’m fully prepped to kook out tomorrow in good style. If Tom or Surfads want to join me for earlies, I’ll be there.
ha.. seriously though.. just think about busting the fins.. one turn. that is it, well two if you include the bottom turn..
M3, if I bust fins on it tomorrow, I promise I’ll eagerly tell you.
I’ll be lucky to get it trimming.
nope.. you will do it.. way easier than you think if you are only thinking about it. floaters and buckets.. MINE is a 8 footer, put some good fins in it. perfect for shitbag waves.
“Put some good fins in…”
Heh heh… this thing has those rubbery fins that are held on with plastic slot-head ‘screws’ on the top.
Hi-Perf this is not.
But, on my word as a ‘Gritter, I solemnly swear to adopt an aggressive poo-stance, aim for the lip and attempt my best best imitation of an upper level, lower intermediate surfer.
Buckets will be thrown.
Even if I have to swim to the beach, wrestle them from the chubby pink fingers of grom ‘castlers, and hurl them down the beach while escaping the wrath of irate parents.
Floaters: I’ll hold off from my morning libations and walk clench-cheeked to the shore, holding the foam plank aloft. Once in the line-up, proceed to bob alongside my board with trunks around my ankles, producing a veritable flotilla of action.
I promise you sir, Heads will turn.
K so no u won’t blow them
Go soft go hard and then go home …..
Not a bad bank at Pogos currently, alas I’m hungover and it’s looking pretty damn small. Has been fun the last couple of days tho.
To the original post, I own a PJ and as a furiously intermediate surfer it’s the best high performance fatty I’ve ever ridden.
ha..
A gift from the gods of the underworld !
yes. on the bottom.
Beach_Grit (: