And what other professional surfers did for Christmas!
What a wonderful day Christmas was filled to overflowing with cheer. I hope you had as much fun as I did with the presents and the unicorn poo slime and the snowboarding and the bourbon with very good friends. It was one for the record books but part of me wonders if former World Surf League Championship Tour competitor Matt Wilkinson didn’t have even more fun.
Instagram revealed he spent the day hitting golf balls at defenseless cows.
I’m certain that People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) would be furious about that Christmas Day activity and still might picket the Rip Curl stores spread across the United States’ many outlet malls but I imagine the cows enjoyed it. It takes a giant spike driven into their skulls at maximum velocity to turn them into meat. Golf balls from Matt Wilkinson’s club must have felt like a gentle pressure-point massage.
His day did make me wonder how other professional surfers spent theirs.
A quick perusal of the top 20+ revealed that most don’t post Christmas greetings. The ones who do are flanked by loved ones…
…except Italo Ferriera and look at him here.
Italo might have even had more fun than Matt Wilkinson cruising for babes on his brand-new dirt bike. Getting in and out of trouble. Doing donuts in the parking lot. Slamming some Sunny-D and doing it all again.
I shall start calling him The Dirt Bike Kid and I recommend you call him that too. Italo “The Dirt Bike Kid” Ferriera.
It has a ring no?
That bike will rule out italo for next year. Fuckin idiot.
QFT !
Everybody. Everybody eggs it sooner or later.
Never if, only when. Fucken bikes.
Ok dammit. Here we go. I’ll get it over with so someone else doesn’t have to:
“COWABUNGA, DUDE”
Don’t say I didn’t take the bullet for you guys.
He’s trying to steer his shot. He needs to close his eyes and veal it.
He’ll only get better now that he’s being put out to pasture.
I found that photo to be quite mooving.
As a fan, do you feel you have a steak in his future?
I think he’s gonna keep milking it for sure.
All these horrible puns! Gonna count it as a blessing that James Bickerton is otherwise occupied ….
You love it. Your protests are a lot of bullshit.
He’s really giving it horns. But can we agree that golf is an udderly terrible game?
Cowards with Clubs ?
It behoves a tour vet like him to be kinder to animals, otherwise he might have to hide from the protesters.
All creatures of leisure great and small ….
I’ve been ruminating over your comment. Cud you elaborate please?
Jordy chews carefully ,his words ? One English Vet , Cowboys and ( leg ) ropes at the ranch ?
Alright, I think I’m out of puns. I’m dung with this thread!
C( h) ow ! It sounds a bit Italian …..
Next level!
thanks PNP …..to all things bright and beautiful ……….
Multi up.
I have no doubt there would be quotes from Mdme Bovinary and comment on the vacheness of the countryside….
Watch out Astro ! Taurus rises towards you ?
And remember RedBull gives you wings but it comes from the balls ?
Taurine is an organic molecule (not an amino acid) named for the Latin taurus, which means ox or bull, because originally taurine was extracted from bull semen and ox bile.
(astro files this gem in his “What to say to LBGTers” folder)
And this coming from and educated man whose pseudonym est un jeu de mots ? I will not be left cowering in the corner ,so Hello Mammals , Pest/West et la vache qui rit from Cowaramup Bay . Sad to see Wilko the Milko say goodbye to the cream always rises to the top tour ? A milk can can…….?
Where you from Boy ?
Byron Bay Sir !
Only two things come from Byron Bay, Steers and Queers ! You ain’t no Queer so go play golf with the Steer …..
Sir yes Sir !
Holey cow!!
He should be made to do the Running of the Bulls in rollerblades as penance.
Sunny-D tastes like what orange juice would taste like if you tried to make it without oranges.
Italo out there looking like a Kuta Beach flesh-peddler
I just went from six to midnight.
Just click those red heels together Dorothy ?
Wilko should take up competitive surfing.
He’s got more chance of making the CT than hitting a cow with a swing like that.
if he does get on the golf tour they’ll decide that hitting cows is cool for a year and a half and then go back to regular scoring. the following christmas he’ll post a video of anal ping pong and the cycle will continue.