"Dear General Secretary Sophie Goldschmidt resounds the marching drums of the powerful, prosperous League."
Three days ago the World Surf League released its first propaganda video via Instagram and I don’t know why it has taken me three days to get to it.
Maybe I was too wrapped up in Michelle Rodrigues unfollowing BeachGrit’s Instagram to see straight? Tears flooding my eyes every time I checked in?
Maybe but I have seen it now and it is amazing.
Our dear General Secretary Sophie Goldschmidt appears on camera wearing a comforting yellow and recounts the unvarnished successes of the year from Mick Fanning’s retirement to the Surf Ranch Pro to equal pay amongst all surfers.
A true workers’ paradise.
Inspirational music plays in the background and when the WSL’s Ministry of Culture finished editing I’m sure they bowed slightly to the framed picture of ex-General Secretary Paul Speaker hanging upon the wall then threw very tight shakas in each other’s direction, shouting, “Job well done comrade!”
Was President-elect of Content, Media and WSL Studios Comrade Erik Logan overseeing the work even though he is yet to officially take the position?
Maybe.
And if this is a representation of his art we are in very good hands.
Though some degenerates didn’t love.
ed_geb64 wrote: “WSL get a real CEO not a Facebook sister…..bring back the aloha spirit. There are other ways to make money rather than force us into FB. WSL should be from surfers to surfers!”
ndsearing wrote: “If you can’t admit the Facebook failure and correct it for next year you need to resign. Surfing will never be a mainstream sport. It’s not built that way. When you alienate your core base of fans (surfers) to pander for $ and viewership your sport will suffer long term.”
The World Surf League quickly mustered ranking members like Joel Parkinson (ok sign, praying hands) and Conner Coffin (raise the roof raise the roof raise the roof) to suppress the small insurrection with beckgard adding, “Ignore the Haters Sophie…this middle-aged, land-locked, non-surfer LOVES following the WSL…men & women.”
Re-education camps will be set up forthwith Surf Ranch adjacent.
Now let us sing our anthem:
By exploding the mental strength of the united heart of our billion fans.
Dear General Secretary Sophie Goldschmidt resounds the marching drums of the powerful, prosperous League.
Let’s go, great World Surf League from bright and pure Santa Monica.
Let’s drive unbelievers and degenerates into the sea.
Or maybe drown them underneath the never ending perfect waves of Surf Ranch.
Hail General Secretary Sophie Goldschmidt.
Hail the World Surf League.
May it rule for 10000 years!
When it seemed I had no choice to watch the pipe masters without joining Falsebook, I was about to fire off a very nasty note to the WSL, but then I found I could just sign up for WSL itself, I did, but wonder what the hidden costs will be. Respect our environment!
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
northcoast_yen briefly
The one question to ask, and this goes to the entire industry, not just the WSL, is “how you going to grow it?” Private equity doesn’t bail out Quik and Bong (et al) to sell less product to their core audience, same with the WSL. The industry has always been good at marketing amongst themselves, but have failed miserably whenever they try to compete in the mainstream. All the new young companies having some success are focused on a lifestyle story. Competitive (tour) athletes are no where to be found amongst their ranks. What does that say about pro surfing? The established surf brands customer continues to get older, no matter how hard they try to stay relevant to a young consumer. The only people who care about surfing are surfers which isn’t inherently bad (at least for surfers) but won’t work for the money guys of Oaktree and the WSL. So again, I have to ask, how you going to grow it in a meaningful, sustainable and authentic way and not alienate your core? Not sure you can.
Chyna
Simple. The wsl is only there in its current state to sell the wave pool. We need to get our heads around this.
The problem is the wave pool gets boring quickly and there are competing technologies that may well prove superior. Then there’s the massive overheads before you make a dollar.
There would have been a rebel tour bankrolled by the surf brands five years ago if it wasn’t for the fact that hubris got the better of them and they are now all broke and can’t afford it.
It’s not a happy time to be carving out a career as a pro surfer. The wsl will collapse in a heap within 12 months. Maybe they’ll try to cling to life until the tokyo Olympics, but that’s not even run by the wsl.
Dont disagree. But like Nick said earlier, what we saw on the North Shore in the last few weeks was as good as it gets, and if that doesnt sell tickets, nothing will.
The truth is they never will sell tickets. I don’t think it’s about selling tickets with the current mob in charge anyway. That’s why they flirted with the pipe fiasco because the end game was always to have a surf ranch finale at the end of the year and get rich.
The only reason why we as “target audience” didn’t smell a rat 5 years ago was baldy was involved and we all thought surely he would have enough gravitas and enough experience to not turn it into a shit show. Well we were wrong. It is a farce.
What exactly is the product the wsl are selling? A few hours (minutes?) of highlights package per contest. With the time zones, not to mention fickle mother nature, they’ve got less to offer than skating or snowboarding because those comps can be run to a schedule.
That’s why the wave pool is their holy grail. Unfortunately it’s a fizzer. How long until the penny drops and dirk pulls the pin? When can it ever stand on its own two feet? At least in the old days the big three were happy to throw money at it as an exercise in advertising.
I surf the heavy spin, I do arials in your mom, I carve equal pay
Good ol Sophie looks like a gym teacher at an “alternative learning high school.” No doubt driving the Subaru wagon and wearing Teva sandals with socks….
She really does look like a Tevas enthusiast. Maybe she could convince them to sponsor a contest. Target audience.
You’re right. Facebook made the events nearly unwatchable. They did nothing all season to fix the stream quality and lack of results, etc. Why? Because they were too busy losing 36 billion dollars. WSL is a waste of time to them. They missed the rollout, as well, lest we not forget. As much as I’d like to point to SG for not holding them accountable, it’s not just her fault. We need to eviscerate FB. Those clowns got one of the cleanest/most influential sports and they shat on it. Tough year for FB, but they need to show a new level of commitment or GTFO. Consider this the holiday of creating FB-destroying memes.
Could one interpret Parko’s ‘OK sign’ and ‘praying hands’ to mean: “arsehole + please please please fuck off”?
JUST A THEORY…
Just… putting it out there…
sounds like she is asking for money for poor sick and starving surfers, thank you for your support
Surf Raunch. Sounds like a sexy place where anything goes.
I like your anthem. When I read it, I hear Laibach.
Found the whole thing kinda odd. The message, the messenger, the goal, the platform, etc. Baffled.
Ah,
you whinny ol’ surfers crack me up!
If you do not like what
The IPS,errThe ASPerr Thee WSL does,simply just do not read nor watch it!
But you can’t stop, can ya, huh?
Hahaha…
There’s equality of opportunity, which is wonderful.
And there’s equality of outcome, which is beyond horrible.
She looks like Jordy’s mum
Man that reply stream makes Stab’s comment section look like Mensa
I’m loving that anthem!!
Can’t watch this dribble, wonder what Bugs thinks?
That’s Adult Learners League folks!
https://youtu.be/HeERupuicHE
Sophie’s Glorious Sweater of Absolute History™
I keep clicking to ‘Shop The Look’ but the link must be broken. Does anyone know where I can buy one?
Ken Done pre loved from the house of Saint Vincent de Paul ?
And the daggy denim skirt ?
Don’t go there
Thought she might of been inspired by your 4 year old jeans . A Holy Wearable Religious Relic ? Perfect for Christmas and Boxing ……
If the pants are anything like the Glorious Sweater of Absolute History ™ then they came from the Salvos op shop in Clapham Junction
I’d bet Sophie was a member of the Child Spies and the Junior Anti Sex League.
I’m really wondering about her links via tennis, to the Tory party, the Barclay bros, the London property market and future wavepool acquisitions…
???
who? I love seeing their chicks.. sometimes I am amazed and other times I am amazed.