But where are all the Surf Ranches?
Chelan, Washington is a town of just over 4000 in the almost center of the Evergreen State. Its post office was built in 1890, its school in 1893 and its deep water standing wave, the largest in the whole world, is set to open in 2019.
The Lake Chelan Mirror writes:
Joining the world-wide manufactured wave craze, Slidewaters Waterpark will open the world’s largest and the first deep water stationary wave in the United States. The 52 ½ foot wide Citywave© can produce waves as high as 6 feet and can be surfed with standard ocean boards and fins. Slated to open to the public summer of 2019, Lakeside Surf is a stand-alone surf park that will operate both independently and in connection to the existing waterpark.
So basically a very big Flowrider. A contained and controllable Waimea river thing.
All fine and good, especially for our Pacific NorthPest but the reason we should discuss is the first phrase of the Mirror piece. “Joining the world-wide manufactured wave craze…” and there sure is a lot of smoke there but where the hell is the fire?
I mean, Surf Ranch premiered what, two years ago now? And what have we got to show for it. We’ve got Surf Ranch. We’ve got shuttered Waco. We’ve got shuttered Austin. We’ve got a Mad Max thing in Australia that makes epic 1 footers. We’ve got a Chinese knock-off and… am I missing any? I think that’s it. Oh, besides the world’s largest deep water stationary wave in Chelan, Washington.
And if “manufactured waves” were really moneymakers wouldn’t we be seeing franchises starting to pop up everywhere by now?
I mean… what’s the deal?
OG Morena Blvd. oh yeah!
Wave pools in the UK go way back – to Wembley in 1934, at least.
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Nice doing business with you!
Load up the private jets, it’s moving day
Perfect! Send them home.
“An over the top” not “Am over the top”
Yep, Las Vegas.
I worked with Tom Lochtefeld at Wave House and always said either Las Vegas or Dubai were the best places for a new wave pool.
Las Vegas has that pool culture deal so if you could make an artificial wave where large-breasted chicks and tatooed bros could hang out at the safe end, and have bars and food all around it, you could almost build an entire casino resort around that.
I think that property behind the Wynn Casino is being redeveloped and there’s a lake there, so maybe that.
Tom L actually designed an epic, no-expense-pared personal water park for the al Makthoum family in Dubai – the second son was a surfer but he got pushed in front of the first son and is now the crown prince so has bigger things to worry about than getting barreled in his backyard.
I saw an illustration of the proposed personal al Makthoum waterpark and it was pretty epic – although enclosed in kind of a small space.
But lots of heat and water and money in Dubai – they built an artificial ski slope there for fook’s sake – so why not a wave pool?
That is very tempting Scott.
But everyone knows that Bezos is by a mile the fairest senorita at the quinceanera. Zuck’s on the downswing, and Weinstein’s never gonna make another nickel to throw away on vanity investments.
Is Paul Allen’s corpse worth anything to you? I’m sure we have it cryogenically frozen somewhere around here …..
What about the CostCo dude?
Isn’t he up in Seattle somewhere?
I know the HQ is in Issaquah.
I worked at a SUP and kayak rental place on the lake a few summers ago and the CostCo employees would come jogging past and we would chat.
One told me there’s a CostCo in Seoul. Korea that makes a million dollars a day, every day.
Talk about deep kimchee.
And what about the Boeing people? They’ve got money and are into engineering?
There’s lots of lakes up there for an artificial wave. Heaps!
Why is there so much big business in Seattle? It’s not like it’s central to America, or maybe it’s central to the Pacific Rim?
Maybe it’s that the weather is gloomy, depressing shit from September to June and people are better off inside and working than outside and freezing?
Flourescent lights are better than no sunlight?
I also paddled Lake Union and that lake near Mountlake Terrace – Ballinger Lake. I got bumped by an otter there on my very last paddle and it scared the shit out of me.
Then I went to Waikiki and saw sharks.
Where was I?
Ever go to Double D Meats in Mountlake Terrace? Their beef jerky is right up there with Corralitos Market and that place in Bishop, CA.
Yeah Double D meats is great!
I think there’s so much business up here because it’s weather-wise like Germany? Attracts people interested in working more than getting a tan? Attracts a lot of Northern European heritage that leverages knowing hiw to be successful? Although at the moment a shit-ton of bright Asians of all stripes are keeping the $$$ flowing up here ….
Not really sure but Seattle’s always been a big corporate town.
Yeah Double D meats rules.
And yes, there is a correlation between northern Europe and the industry of northern Europe.
When you drive through the countryside of Norway it looks a lot like rural Washington – barns, fences, etc.
Northern Europeans are industrious because they have to be – climate determines character.
Seattle is the same, I guess.
Cold weather stimulates industriousness.
If cold weather stimulates industriousness then how come no world changing inventions have come from the Inuit?
Nah, there’s no future.
If there was ever a place to nail the cumming-while-getting-barrelled trick…
Translation, anyone?
Start building wavepools in places where the rich elite play.
Stop building wavepools in redneck, backwoods places.
Create a destination resort experience.
Chase the money.
Well KSWCO is building one in Palm Beach or something, right?
That’s following your model: Where the rich elite play.
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Hi chas and Derek
I found this in the paper today.
You should take a look at it. Surfing and the WSL is taking even stranger turns amidst the cutbacks.
Kiwi tourism is an outright loss Flatty.
They come here, take the dole, use our infra, take jobs and take the money back to NZ. Choice bro
We can’t get the dole homie/homess, unlike y’all in our country. Jus sayin.
Oh isn’t Vegas the exactly right place for an insane wave pool!
I have always always said Vegas – to Tom Lochtefeld and others.
You need a steady stream of new people, and Vegas has that party pool culture – put a world class wave pool in the middle of it and watch the digits tumble.
Vegas has plenty of water, and power is relatively cheap and guilt-free, because it’s all hydro from Hoover Dam – no fossil fuels involved.
And wave pools are as energy-hungry as aluminum or uranium.
Make the wave pool the centerpiece of a food/drink/retail/entertainment complex.
People could bet on surf contests and what not.
Kaching!
I’ll give you Steve Balmer and Melinda Gates. Bezos though is off the table.
I dunno, I think you should hang onto Balmer for his sweaty antics. I mean do you really want to give this up? https://youtu.be/KMU0tzLwhbE
I’ll kick in the father of the yoga bum, Chip Wilson as well as Jimmy Pattison to sweeten the Elon deal; I’ll need to borrow him for a minute to dig a chunnel between VI and PA so I can travel effortlessly across the Strait.
Fuck, I forgot the Flat Earth ‘angle’.
???
kinda like ‘olympic villages’ discarded around the world. nyc etc,
Theres one going cheap on gumtree
I’ll give you this, the women in Vienna are certainly underrated. Cross the busty, smokey-eyed aspects of Eastern Europe with clean-scrubbed mountain-fraulein Teutons … city’s brimming with under-the-radar hotties.
What about Derek’s mates, 3 opening soon https://urbnsurf.com/