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Vulnerable Adult Learners hit again: Child born without brain learns to surf!

It ain't that hard (if you start before 12)!

I was in Jackson, Wyoming recently enjoying this crazy west coast winter. There was snow on the houses, snow on the roads and, most importantly, snow on those Grand Tetons. My daughter, six-years-old, loves skiing more than just about anything and it is pure pleasure trying to keep up with her. So there we were, anyhow, riding the chair up after another thrilling run, sharing the ride with one of Jackson Hole’s famous ski patrol. He asked where we were from, I told him Cardiff-by-the-Sea, and he told me that he had learned to surf ten years ago and it was the most difficult thing he’d ever done.

Oh it’s the classic adult learner story and you’ve heard it before too. Surfing is difficult to begin, impossible to master. Hours upon hours spent flopping around in the water etc.

I nodded and agreed with his assessment. “Yes it is very difficult. Impossible etc. and I was very fortunate to pick it up as a kid etc.”

Well, as it turns out, learning to surf as a child must be the entire key, even more important than we all imagined, for a British boy who was born without a brain just learned how and let’s learn his story together.

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If doctors told you to terminate your pregnancy not once but five times, you might take them at their word.

But when Shelley and Rob Wall were advised to have an abortion after finding out that their baby had “no brain”, they stuck to their guns.

And six years on, their son Noah has defied the odds — by “growing” a brain.

The Sun reports that the plucky youngster appeared on Good Morning Britain with his parents to share his extraordinary story, which Richard Madley called “a miracle”.

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Despite his parents being told that there was no chance of his survival, Noah has totally exceeded all expectations.

Before Noah was born, doctors doubted he’d survive.

Mr and Mrs Wall have dedicated their time to his brain development and have taken him to Australia to a radical brain training centre.

Here, he has learned how to sit up unaided and even managed to go surfing.

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Noah now wants to learn to walk and wants to continue learning how to surf and even start skiing.

The treatment that Noah’s been having in Australia is called “neurophysics” — a mixture of physiotherapy and cognitive exercises.

Mr Wall explained that the experts don’t usually do give the therapy to kids because of the cognitive side of things but they were lucky enough to be able to persuade them to see and assess Noah and prepare them for when he’s old enough to have that cognitive treatment.

“It’s all to do with the brain’s ability to heal or correct the body’s nervous system”.

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Etc.

And there we have it. It is easier for a child born without a brain to learn our Pastime of Kings than it is for a VAL.

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56 Comments
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Dogsnuts

Omg really… I even read that in a pommy accent. Shittest lyrics ever.

Italo Post Heat Interview

This is one of my all time favourite film scenes.

DrunkenAngel

oh speaking truth to power

Keith Grace

It was a frustrating day… missed waves no less… then I came upon the comments section of this particular piece today… thanks to all for turning the frown upside down… good stuff…

BltByKrmn

Your wife is one of the best snowboarders on earth and your daughter is a 2 planker?

Chief Hot stuff

She’s a rebels rebel

PacificNorthPest

Skiing used to be fucking horrible, but now it’s great! I’ve snowboarder since 1983, and in those 35 years have many 50+ day seasons. My kid skis though, and I’d be happy if she never snowboards. Skiing certainly owes snowboarding for bringing it back from the dead. Skiing looks cool now, looks fun

Dogsnuts

Didn’t you hear? Morrissey is a cunt these days. All songs are now retroactively shit.

Lemon Next to the Pie

I thought that as soon as I saw the flower in the back pocket. Fucken plant kidnapper.

Party Pete

I’ve definitely surfed with this guy out.

James Bickerton

Anyone for a game of scrabble ?

Wilbur

They look like a basket or french fries, or tombstones in a cemetery.

Some Guy

Chiclets

Chief Hot stuff

I like the rhyming.

Chief Hot stuff

Actually they have improved a lot.
Ever seen
On the Buses?

James Bickerton

I’ll get you Butler ! ( a toothbrush ? )

Old Kook

How long till Noah is added to the list of BG guest writers?

Chief Hot stuff

Where would pro surfing be right now if Mick’s head came off that day?

Lemon Next to the Pie

I thought this was a JOB story.

Sucked in, once again, by the exclamation mark.

@surfads

“Surfing’s not about what’s in there,” I tell the pretty girl at the bar, tapping her forehead softly.

“It’s about what’s in here.”

I take her hand and place it over her heart.

“So you see, little Noah knew how to surf all along.”

“Wow,” she whispers. “Can you teach me?”

Wilbur

Fucking smooooth! I usually go with “surfing’s not a sport, it’s a way of life, it’s no hobby. It’s a way of looking at that wave and saying, “Hey bud, let’s party!”

Chief Hot stuff

Newy has changed
Didn’t you used to just bang them on the head?

@surfads

Nah in Newy they bang you on the head

Eddie Haiku

Your misleading lead
Lead me to believe the piece
Was about Occy

Poop Stance

The brainless surfer stereotype is well deserved.

James Bickerton

If only Australia could look after its refugee children with brains as well it does English Noah , who I am assuming is a non citizen without a brain .

Chief Hot stuff

Boo!
My neighbour is a refugee from Tibet.
He wants to punch anyone who diisses this sun cunt burntry.

James Bickerton

Boo Radley is your Neighbor . Pleased to meet you finally Atticus Finch .

Chief Hot stuff

Your a pain in the Gregory Peck

James Bickerton

Take a Bex .

Chief Hot stuff

It’s better now

Nick Richon

Graduated VAL, soon to strip off EI jersey, and bearded. Just sayin’…..

James Bickerton

Now if only they could teach the Noahs not to eat Noah ? Good luck little fella and nice to see a positive story about building a Wall ( a brain ) . I was particularly pleased with “ Snow on those Grand Tetons “ (Grand Tétons being the French words for Big Nipples or Big Breasts . Apparently the mountains were given the name by French Trappers . )

Jen See

Yes, they were! And, uh, the shape is very obvious. Very. I giggled non-stop when I was there last summer.

James Bickerton

Oh Jen , you are naughty .

Jen See

Well, a girl’s got a find laughs where she can! Also, I was riding mountain bikes without oxygen so maybe a little more easily entertained than usual. It pains me that the best mountain biking is always at like, 8k feet or something stupid, while I live at 10 feet, give or take.

James Bickerton

Sounds wonderful ! Just what the Dr. needs and the Dr. ordered , altitude training and girly giggling at boob shaped mountains .

SoCalGary

Well Jen, share with us all your level of gigglyness (new word for 2019) when you pass by the San-O Nuclear plant on your way south to surf a 5-something fish at Swami’s?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Jen See

Oh ha ha, I laugh at that dumb thing every time! And try not to think about what they’re storing under ’em.

Really I have a completely juvenile sense of humor.

SoCalGary

As should we all. Keep smiling, laughing and writing.

James Bickerton

Concrete Blonde !

Jordy's pout

That explains Teton Gravity Research

James Bickerton

Which young surfer has not felt the gravitational effects of the Teton/breast pulling them ever nearer the source and causing their members to rise skyward ?
I once went for a quick surf in France with a friend ,while waiting for the tide to come in ,and we both got out a little dejected but it was a mid October and the most beautiful pair of tanned mammary glands kept us on the beach for another hour or more , when out of no where A frames started exploding 20m from shore and we savored some of the most wonderful conditions I’ve ever seen in 40years of surfing with only 4 of us out and forcing home the importance of keeping abreast of conditions .

Jen See

lolololol

Jordy's pout

Dammit JB, put your linguistic tetons away and stop seducing me into a long thread. The only mounds I’m staring at right now are mountains of work

James Bickerton

Shows over folks . Nothing more to see . Moooove on , I’ve milked it for all its worth…..

The Bitchy Crab

See above (hit reply to wrong comment.)

Eddie Haiku

Was planning a joke
About Tetonic Plate Lunch
Then recalled the C

James Bickerton

C is for Crust and Convection Currents ?

The Bitchy Crab

You must’ve learned by now that no thread is considered over, no teat dry, until there’s been at least fifteen stories and three hundred comments.

Dogsnuts

Fuck man, my heart will always be in France. Plotting my return,

James Bickerton

I did 20years and am very happy to return on holidays every September .

Dogsnuts

Could ten out of ten live there. But how to sustain myself? Above board at least.

The Bitchy Crab

I woke this morning, read the second line, and wondered: how long before I find the fabulous bilinguist James Bickerton talking nipples?

James Bickerton

Ça t’étonne ! I’ve given up my position in The Itty Bitty Titty Committee and wanted to Go Big .

Hippy

And 25 years later, this kid without a brain emmigrated to Orange County with his bronzed buddy determined to ruin American competitive surfing and if not for Tom Curren, may well have.

Today, Ian Cairns coaches other brainless children to become “pro surfers” and sociopaths. Ian giving back, the circle of life sustained.


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