Breaking: 11x World Champ Kelly Slater to surf the Vissla Sydney Pro!

It's miracle time!

Lady and gentlemen… we have a miracle! Kelly Slater and one extremely hurt, shattered beyond comprehension, foot will kick off his injury wildcard 2019 campaign in Manly, Australia. Home of the Vissla Sydney Pro and I think Nick Carroll.

Nick?

Do you live in Manly?

Per the World Surf League Press release:

“I’ve always loved the northern beaches having lived part-time in Avalon for 15 years,” said Slater. “I miss it and I’m looking forward to getting back to some old familiar territory. I’m also getting a nice warm-up prior to jumping back on Tour full-time after close to a year and a half hiatus from competition”.

Oh maybe that’s where Nick lives. Avalon. Nick, do you live in Avalon?

Less importantly, how do you think the 11x world champion will fare?

Also, hasn’t Kelly basically lived everywhere on earth, part-time, for the past 15-years?

Blah blah blah.

Professional surfing!

Do you like how Kelly teases his “jumping back on Tour full-time…” bit? I did though also wonder if it may have been added after the fact by one very savvy President of Content, Media and Studios who knows a thing or two about hype.

You win a car! You win a car! You win a car! You win a car! You win a car!

Etc.

Nick, where the hell do you live? I won’t be able to do anything else until I know.

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Jwat
Jwat
7 years ago

Fuck all these god damn great whites. All over central California and in Oz. We Should cull them all

Ami Lost
Ami Lost
7 years ago

In Australia he might land on it.

Italo Post Heat Interview
Italo Post Heat Interview
7 years ago

Thought he ran a ding repair business in San Jose, 50miles from the ocean

Otto
Otto
7 years ago

Are you talking about Hotel Del Rey in San Jose Costa Rica?!
I can’t picture Kelly being there, unless he was …lost.
Great place on one’s way out of town.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
7 years ago

I live everywhere Chas. I probably live in Venice Adjacent.

Ami Lost
Ami Lost
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Which is better, sleeping on a bench or under one?

Toin coss
Toin coss
7 years ago

I think Kelly has been buying time and working on his act at the wave tank, specifically turns. His barrel riding is still top shelf. He got 3rd at the tank. Could see him obsessively practicing at the tank on all different settings to simulate the waves on tour / QS. Add the goat factor, etc and I’d bet money he’ll end up top 10 this year.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago
Reply to  Toin coss

Little doubt as opposed to no.

Thetruth
Thetruth
7 years ago

Haha a bunch off im so fuckin hot look at me and all me stickers on me board QS frothers are going to get owned by the old GOAT how fucken Bam is that

Krypto Jackson
Krypto Jackson
7 years ago

I thought he retired. In any event, wake me up when he fails to qualify for the tour next year and then is forced to go back onto the QS. THAT would be some fine entertainment.

@surfads
@surfads
7 years ago

All we need is some novelty heat where he surfs against Layne Beachley, Tommy Gun (on a SUP replica of his The Snap Rawson) Tony Abbott and The Iceman for a ‘Ruler of the Northern Beaches’ title.

DavidC
DavidC
7 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Can we throw in Mike Baird?

@surfads
@surfads
7 years ago
Reply to  DavidC

Haha he sprung to mind but Abbott’s even more of a VAL so got the spot

DavidC
DavidC
7 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Damn!

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

I got hassled by a woman bout voting Tony boy out.
I told her Tony says suk my dick!

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Could you make it a 6 person heat and throw in The Sultan of Speed and the QBC Gumby ?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

Better throw in BL repping windnsewerage.
Nick and I only ones living in gods country here?
High five Nick.
Nick?
Don’t leave me hanging bro!

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

You could be the plus in Newport plus . Don’t Peak too early ?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

I’m strictly no man’s land these days

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

Short and curl curls or a long reefer ?

@surfads
@surfads
7 years ago

Balmoral boardriders

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

It least is has high visibility shark netting !

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

Sheeeiiit
Y’all ain’t from round these parts!

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

There was when I was having cuddles there late 80s .

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

Lottsa sluts round here back then ay!!
Fuk I mean loose women

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

I prefer to use the term empowered generous females ? Ha ha

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

See above

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

Not any more
Gotta drive an Audi to get a hand shandy.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Chinaman’s be aight on a big swell if ya got a mesh suit

@surfads
@surfads
7 years ago

I always wanted to surf it as a novelty. Love a novelty wave. Maybe this weekend?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Rare as hens teeth

Tom
Tom
7 years ago

Chinamens thru the net pretty good righthander at times- across the bay at washaway and the bombie also super fun as novelty. Had a left for 250 metres, 15 years ago that ran all way up through castle rock when heaps sand in there was unbelievable wave

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago
Reply to  Tom

Check out the left at the Opera house
https://youtu.be/wl7r79ujebQ

Tom
Tom
7 years ago

epic one that one – is the point break 1/100 years storm stuff yeah??

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago
Reply to  Tom

Um it says it on tha clip I think

Tom
Tom
7 years ago

Is Zinc man still doing Karate on the beach there??

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago
Reply to  Tom

I think it’s his son now

Tom
Tom
7 years ago

it was at least 20 years ago and more he used to be down there full karate mode – swords and bamboo stakes in shorey then would go up dunes at poles and be rubbing random chicks tits with sunscreen

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago
Reply to  Tom

Cartwheel Bob down Queeny way too!
Most beaches have one I think.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
7 years ago

The Coolum-Peregian stretch had a beach walker who wore nought but a tennis visor, cut-off Stubbies and a smile.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

Yellow , blue or grey Stubbies and is the tennis visor transparent ?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
7 years ago

Blue, but I emphasise ‘cut-off’. The visor was not-transparent, white and well worn.

Why do I remember details like this and not important stuff like setting up decent superannuation?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

Sun super
Mick turned me onto it.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

The parade of human s is what makes the beach so fun!

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago
Reply to  Tom

Maybe Nick’s dad?

ricmatic
ricmatic
7 years ago

The old incorporating the fact checking into the article itself trick!

grumpy local
grumpy local
7 years ago

Does anyone actually remember what brand of car Oprah gave away that day? Poor bastards gave away a couple hundred cars and no one can remember who they are…

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  grumpy local

They can’t have been Smarts ?

grumpy local
grumpy local
7 years ago

Nah, would have been American surely

MyGFsChinese
MyGFsChinese
7 years ago

Oprah ain’t giving out no death traps

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
7 years ago
Reply to  grumpy local

I was so curious I had to Google. 2004 Pontiac G-6!

Ricoimmo
Ricoimmo
7 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

most of the audience couldn’t afford to pay taxes on them free cars..

grumpy local
grumpy local
7 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

And I bet every single one of them is sitting in a junkyard right now

DavidC
DavidC
7 years ago

I’ll just copy and past what I said at Stab – “Man it just gets sadder and sadder”

grumpy local
grumpy local
7 years ago
Reply to  DavidC

Much like your pitiful excuse of an existence!

DavidC
DavidC
7 years ago
Reply to  grumpy local

Absolutely! My life is a cautionary tale!

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

Larry Blair won at Manly and at Pipe and never claimed to be a goat ? If Kelly can’t even get a win at Sunset after 45 years of competing how the hell is he going to win at Manly at 47 ? It ain’t like Maroubra where he won his last QS in Sydney at the tender age of 31 in 2003 .
Who does he think he is ? Midget in 64 ?

DavidC
DavidC
7 years ago

That was one hell of a tube (for the times) – Wayne’s wave behind it was also a corker! Have mixed feelings about Larry though, he moved in on my girl at the time, I was driving around for weeks playing Jet Boy by the New York Dolls feeling sorry for myself – Ahhh luv!

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  DavidC

Ah Barry Lair ! He even made Lopez scared ! I hope you’ve moved on and are now whistling along to the French version of jet boy from Plastic Bertrand “ Ça Plane pour Moi “ . It was a great contest and maybe ELo could take a look at the documentary David Hill produced for The Nine Network nearly 40 years ago ?

DavidC
DavidC
7 years ago

He should indeed! Unfortunately Plastique was to uncool for us middle class white boy punks (god I was a wanker!)

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  DavidC

Don’t be too hard on yourself . Bertrand from Belgium was no Jello Biafra !

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

Don’t fuken mention in same post, Faz favor!!

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

YouTube?

Pyzel's Ghost
Pyzel's Ghost
7 years ago

Two different songs…Jet Boy by the Dolls, and Jet Boy Jet Girl by Elton Motello (Ce Plane Pour Moi by Plastic Bertrand).

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  Pyzel's Ghost

Thanks mick . I stand corrected .I have confused The Damned with the Dolls .

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago
Reply to  DavidC

That bank still lurks.

oceanyeti
oceanyeti
7 years ago

At the bra?! Super shifty but think I know the reliable bank other than the dunny bowl

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago
Reply to  oceanyeti

Na at North Steyne

oceanyeti
oceanyeti
7 years ago

True that.

Brutus
Brutus
7 years ago
Reply to  DavidC

how dare you be that old to remember , Larry’s was a stall tube , and Wayne backdoored his , but as the judges were watching Larry’s they missed Waynes take off…damn this shits always been going on…..Larry and I had quite a beef at the Stubbies when I sat on his BMW..bloody wanker!!!

DavidC
DavidC
7 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

Et tu Brutus? – bloody wanker just about covers it! Don’t you hate it when bloody wankers are also good surfers? Yeah your right he did park it from behind, I remember we thought it was a better wave – a winner if not for bloody wanker on the wave before!
I always wondered why Wayne never got “WL” – but then again when anybody says Wayne, you know exactly who they’re talking about.

Strider's Gobble Neck
Strider's Gobble Neck
7 years ago

Kelly’s ego is finally larger than his net worth.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

Get GMed too and I’ll be there.
I’ll be the one wearing boardies and the I love Derek t-shirt.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

Gabs is in a crazy QS off Brazil .

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
7 years ago

Isn’t there some weird requirement that everyone on tour has to at least contest a qs ir two throughout the season? Like when your cute friend gets blind drunk and roots a donkey annually.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

You’ve described just about every club contest I’ve been in on two continents but I am sure it was a Bush Pig and not a donkey ?

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
7 years ago

Maybe it was Manbearpig?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

Not easy to tell the difference with the beer goggles on ?

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
7 years ago

Hahahahaha oh man, I used to have a mate that could not stand girls giving me attention, so I would get rotten drunk and chat up some not very desirable female, go to th e dunnies and come back to find he’d dragged her off. Hilarious trick.

John Wayne
John Wayne
7 years ago

Mr NC resides slightly north of Manly Chas – in Newport – a suburb almost next door to Avalon – the ex part-time home of Mr Slater. People from Avalon have a certain way about them.

https://youtu.be/CNXfsXe0bQA

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
7 years ago
Reply to  John Wayne

I no longer feel backward for living in a backwater and being poor. Thanks Duke.

Wayne Lunch
Wayne Lunch
7 years ago
Reply to  John Wayne

Bahahahaha

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
7 years ago
Reply to  John Wayne

You could say; ‘Avalon adjacent’.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
7 years ago

Nick is most cozy
Most comfortable and content
Living in the past

Mapski
Mapski
7 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

At least he can remember it.

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago
Reply to  Mapski

If you can remember it, you weren’t there.

Mapski
Mapski
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Nick is no hippie.

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago
Reply to  Mapski

Every surfer
Needs hips to swing their asshole
At least commenting

-Apologies to Eddie.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
7 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

What the fuck did I ever do to you, cunt?

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

So sorry old cock
I confused you with Sam George
Or was it Matt George?

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
7 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

I tell ya what, let’s go for a surf together this Sunday, see if you are anywhere near the avatar you use

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Oh you dick swinger!
I’m the soft Japanese branch
Of the family tree

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
7 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

What a shame you’ll never meet your Uncle Clyde, I bet he’d be stoked you’re using his brother’s photo.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

What a shame your bro
Still throws shade on your bald pate
Fifty years later xo

Brutus
Brutus
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

fuck most of the surfing world would love to greet and make meat of Mr E Hicku!

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

Most of us here on BG would probably like to to shake his (or her) hand.

Brutus
Brutus
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

funny am in Hawaii right now and have been discussing surf culture..negatives and positives…hmmm respect now there’s a thought!

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

If you need a break from surf insanity, please go up to the The Contemporary Museum of Art in Makiki Heights for me.
They used to have a pretty amazing restaurant too (I working in the kitchen briefly and spent lots of my wages on art books from their shop)

Brutus
Brutus
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

will do but been surfing Lan’s having fun , shit be careful mentioning art on BG , the pack could descend on you like our avatar mate

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

Fuckin’ bring’em on.
I’m versed in slapping high-cultural açaí bowls.

Catch one for me Brutus,

Brutus
Brutus
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

don’t ya just love da grit!

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

I DO I DO!!!

oceanyeti
oceanyeti
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Too fucking right!

SectionSB
SectionSB
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

I noticed in perusing the Archives here that he/she used to write like normal people do.
I love their new/old style even though they dont makes sense sometimes. PS are all he comments deleted after a fixed number of years?

Tom
Tom
7 years ago

I just love the intro – Lady and Gentleman – implying 2 people read the story or 2 people care?

pubes
pubes
7 years ago
Reply to  Tom

have another look champ

Tom
Tom
7 years ago
Reply to  pubes

lady and gentlemen – jen see et al fine i’ll put some glasses on

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago
Reply to  Tom

Not sure whether IB would describe herself as a ‘lady’.

But we also have Nicky and a few others more incognito. Not to mention every time seamaven checks in to remind us of 16th century French religious conflict.

Jen See
Jen See
7 years ago
Reply to  Tom

lady? where? (looks around)

Tom
Tom
7 years ago
Reply to  Jen See

Assuming was the case with your sharepenis/softboard rental business

Tom
Tom
7 years ago
Reply to  Tom

that you were a lady that is and not of the male species


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