Jen See: “I just stood in line to watch a surf film!”

Who is this man and why does he matter?

A few weeks a go now, I stood in line to see a surf film. In a strange serendipity, Bruce Brown’s son stood in line just in front of me.

All of this was both totally normal, as surfing, especially in the Santa Barbara area, is a very small world, but also unusual, because who stands in line these days to watch surfing. On this particular night, the line stretched around the block, so it seems, at least a few of us will show up for such things, even now, when every day we’re inundated with a firehose of fresh clips served up in an instant.

Annually, the Santa Barbara Film Festival selects a closing night film. This year, they chose Spoons, which traces the history of surfboard design in Santa Barbara. The film sets out to portray the area as a seedbed of innovation from Renny Yater’s time to the present. Yater’s 1964 Spoon design gives the film its name and its starting point.

I’ll say up front the film is worth watching for its wealth of interview material from Santa Barbara and beyond, and for its vintage footage.

Spoons opens up the coast in Bruce Brown’s studio, where Brown sits surrounded by film canisters. It’s beautifully elegiac, though I’ll confess to an acute anxiety over all that original film footage. Someone, please tell me it’s safely deposited in an archive somewhere. Fragile historic things near the coast make me so nervous, she says, looking around at her shelves stacked with first editions. This opening might be the most memorable part of the film for me, really, and I wanted them to linger there for longer.

There’s gorgeous footage of a largely undeveloped coast. Dirt roads and pickup trucks. Yater and George Greenough tend their lobster traps. The vibe is very Eden before the fall. A voice-over from shaper Marc Andreini about the historic ranches, their vast open spaces, and the cowboys of the land and sea strikes a slightly jarring note, as though it is all there for the taking.

In truth, the strongest part of Spoons is the early sections. There’s gorgeous footage of a largely undeveloped coast. Dirt roads and pickup trucks. Yater and George Greenough tend their lobster traps. The vibe is very Eden before the fall. A voice-over from shaper Marc Andreini about the historic ranches, their vast open spaces, and the cowboys of the land and sea strikes a slightly jarring note, as though it is all there for the taking.

(Also, Henry Jackson Turner called and would like his frontier thesis back.)

Predictably, Rincon holds a central place in the story. It provides both a challenge and a testing ground for the generations of designers the film depicts. Much is made of the wave’s speed and perfection, though arguably, it’s the imperfections, the way the wave changes speed as it passes from cobbles to sand and back to cobbles again, that creates the design problem. An old-school longboard on trim will slam down the line pretty damn fast. It’s the slowing down and the turning that’s the trick – and frequently leads to a dead forest of loose boards crashing through the inside.

Spoons ably explains Yater’s contribution to design. Long story short, his Spoon narrowed and shortened the longboard outlines of the time. George Greenough, meanwhile, rips across the screen on a tiny kneeboard. Seen in the context of footage of his contemporaries, Greenough’s top-to-bottom lines do look radical and fresh. His designs, meanwhile, confound everyone. Bob McTavish says in the film that when Greenough’s ideas reached him and his crew in Australia, they had no idea what to do with it all.

What’s missing from Spoons is context. It’s hardly fair to ask a filmmaker or writer to tell the whole story of everything, but establishing significance means showing why something stood out in its time. In 1964, when Yater was designing his Spoon, what was happening in the workshops in Hermosa Beach or Dana Point? How were their design problems different? Why was the Spoon such a departure? I needed to know more about what was happening outside Santa Barbara to understand why what was happening here was so influential.

While the film neatly draws a connection between Tom Curren’s cutback and Greenough’s crazed kneeboard lines, the thruster seems to arrive out of nowhere. If I hadn’t known better, I might have believed Al Merrick had created the shortboard….

As the film moves through time, this problem becomes more acute. Shaun Thomson speaks of going from a seven-foot single fin, to a twin fin, to a thruster in a matter of months. He’s exaggerating a tad here, but what’s not clear is why there is this sudden shift. While the film neatly draws a connection between Tom Curren’s cutback and Greenough’s crazed kneeboard lines, the thruster seems to arrive out of nowhere. If I hadn’t known better, I might have believed Al Merrick had created the shortboard, though his interviews in the film are careful to avoid this claim. Eat your heart out, Simon Anderson.

Late in the film, Ryan Lovelace gives an extended interview (with far fewer swears than his BG interview, so disappointing!) about his interest in board designs from the pre-thruster era. He compares the genealogy of surfboard design to a tree, some of whose branches simply stopped growing after the thruster showed up.

Maybe it was because those designs quite simply sucked. But Lovelace is convinced there’s a rich vein to mine that the shortboard revolution cut off. The absence of Anderson in the film, though, muddies the story of the creative chaos of happening in board design now.

Spoons does a lovely job of smoothly welding old and new footage together. Visually, the film is a joy. The one exception was an oddly anachronistic sequence of women, maybe shaping, maybe just hanging around a half-finished blank. I couldn’t figure out what was happening there. It highlighted a missed opportunity. If the filmmakers had wanted to include a woman shaper, Ashley Lloyd Thompson, now in Santa Cruz, credits her time in Santa Barbara for helping her refine her ideas about design and counts Greenough and Andreini among her influences.

If you are into vintage footage of California, dig surfboard design nerdery, and can play along with the film’s Santa Barbara-centric perspective, Spoons is worth a watch.

For me, the opening sequence with Brown will stay in my memory for a while. There we all were, standing in line, a long way from Endless Summer, and yet, maybe not so far at all.

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From the No-Fear Dept: New robots designed to save people from the surf!

Jaws, here I come-ish!

First, the wonderful scientists of the world designed an inflatable life vest for big wave surfing. Oh, you’ve seen the women and the men out there at giant Jaws, Jaws so giant that it causes knees to tremble all the way across the Pacific in the bucolic hamlet of Cardiff by the Sea.

But what are our brave knightesses and knights wearing? What are those bulky bulges?

Inflatable vests that work with the pull of a rip and rocket the wearer to the surface of the ocean.

“Maybe I should try surfing giant Jaws too?” Santa Monicians wondered.

Today, the  wonderful scientists designed robots that can find a man or woman in the surf and save them, or actually come close to saving their very lives and let’s learn about them at Phys.

Dr Chapman works specifically in the field of multi-vehicle, or swarm, robotics.

Using a combination of mechanical, electrical and software engineering to build the robots, Dr Chapman then programs the vehicles using algorithms to react and think autonomously.

“There are benefits to using many smaller Unmanned Aerial Vehicles (UAVs) in place of one large one, particularly for job like cleaning up an oil spill, environmental monitoring or searching for survivors of a mine collapse,” says Dr Chapman.

Not only is there the element of redundancy with smaller vehicles – losing one small UAV out of a group is less of a problem than losing a single large UAV – but there are also the implementation benefits. For one thing, there’s the improved coverage capability and reduced cost.

“A swarm of cheap small robots, each with little capability, can replace one costly highly-capable robot,” she says.

In Australia, UAVs are now used for agricultural monitoring as well as for surf and rescue in the ocean, which means getting the job done faster which is particularly important for time-sensitive applications.

Did you read that? Surf and rescue in the open ocean. Between inflatable vests and many robots hovering overhead to find me when I fall, I’m almost ready to surf Jaws. Now I only require a robot that takes me out to the lineup, preferably flying as I don’t trust those jet-ski robots, and also a robot board that will paddle me in.

Jaws, here I come-ish!

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Revealed: “The surf industry wants you to die from skin cancer” and other bummers!

It's anti-anti-depressive!

We all here love surfing with all our hearts. Everyday we love it and love it more and more and more. We love advances in surfboard technology, we love new expressions of wave riding like the stately SUP and magnificent foil, we love the World Surf League, there in Santa Monica, and its partner Jeep, allowing us to surf the world. There is truly nothing not to love. Surfing is like Sarah Lee.

BeachGrit, as you well know, is anti-depressive but have we gotten lost in all the positivity? Are our rose-colored lenses actually clouding our vision?

For yesterday the online surf publication Surfer Today listed things about surfing that are bummers. On and on and on it went and by the end my eyes were filled with tears. My frown was not turned upside-down and would you like to be sad with me for a moment?

1. Surfing is a clothing business.

2. Boardshorts over over-priced.

3. Making surfboards pollutes everything.

4. Also surfboard making uses child labor.

5. Surf wax is poison.

6. The surf industry is racist.

7. The surf industry is ageist.

8. Tanning is bad for you but the surf industry wants you to die from skin cancer.

9. If you are a selfish bastard and choose not to die from skin cancer you kill coral and turtles.

10. Cancer-riddled, anorexic, blonde Caucasian girls are the only sort of girls that get paid.

11. There is no such thing as free surfers. They’re all tools of the Man.

12. Pro surfers get rich while you suffer.

13. The only people who are allowed surf products are Americans, Europeans and Australians.

14. Surf competitions usually run in bigger cities with horrible surf.

15. Big waves hate each other.

16. NGOs run by surfers are corrupt and lousy.

17. Basically all the wetsuits in the world are made in one factory.

18. Corn syrup, booze and diesel-spewing cars are pro surfing’s biggest backers.

19. Weed is fast on their heels, corrupting everything further.

20. Nobody gives two shits about sustainability.

21. Wave pools are basically going to end the world.

You can find me in my car, I suppose, wearing my new Hurley Carhart tee and trunks (shockingly fabulous by the way) with my surfboard riding shotgun. A garden hose attached to the tailpipe will be inserted into the window. Or maybe my surfboard and I will just drive around Las Vegas drinking cheap vodka.

Either way it’ll all be over soon. So long world, you’ll be better off without us.

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From the exactly-what-you-want Dept: World Surf League delivers patented “chart” technology!

Dreams really do come true.

There are a lot of things in this world that we want and never see. Michael J. Fox’s hoverboard in Back to the Future II. Doc’s DeLorean in Back to the Future I. Absolutely nothing from Back to the Future III.

Oh how we dream, lust, crave but then our dreaming, lusting, craving goes away and we are left with the empty pit that flying cars are never going to happen and everything is just going to be a slightly worse version of what we’ve already experienced.

Until the World Surf League came along.

I don’t know when the powers in Santa Monica’s high castle added this feature but it is arty and it is epic.

Click here and you can see with your very own eyes a graphed graph of the performance of your favorite professional surfers over the course of a World Surf League tour season.

Why?

Because graphs work. Graphs lend credence to what you already know.

Graphs actually are the real future.

Bon appetite.

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brazilians
An embarrassment of riches, yes? Even many years ago, a juggernaut etc.

From the embarrassment-of-riches dept: Brazil’s Monumental Olympic Problem!

Two Brazilian male surfers are going to Tokyo in 2020. Who's gonna get cut?

So the Olympics, eh? I suppose I’ll pay attention.

I predict it will be mostly shit to really shit, and that Kanoa Igarashi will be an Olympic Gold Medalist but never a world champion.

I do like the Olympics.

It reminds me of a simpler time, when TV was the evening hub of warm family life. When we would gather round the telly after Sunday lunch and listen to Dad’s casual racism (“By God these darkies can run”) and watch Linford Christie’s full-cock-and-balls whipping wildly under lycra as he ran.

And, I’ll never forget Ben Johnson, in 1988’s 100m final, who couldn’t have made it look more like he was on drugs if he was gurning his face off and stripping off to roll around and rub grit into his tits.

It’s about looking at the swimmers and feeling superior because, despite their spectacular v-lines and liberal attitudes to lying about getting mugged in petrol stations, at the end of the day they spend most of their lives staring at the bottom of swimming pools. It’s about watching the javelin and thinking, fair enough, guy, if the civilised world crumbles tomorrow then you and your big shoulders and your spear might be validated. But, as of right now, you look like a bit of a knob.

However, the Olympics is about far more than just drugs and racism.

It’s about looking at the swimmers and feeling superior because, despite their spectacular v-lines and liberal attitudes to lying about getting mugged in petrol stations, at the end of the day they spend most of their lives staring at the bottom of swimming pools. It’s about watching the javelin and thinking, fair enough, guy, if the civilised world crumbles tomorrow then you and your big shoulders and your spear might be validated. But, as of right now, you look like a bit of a knob.

And it’s about watching the equestrian events and thinking how wonderfully inclusive it all is.

What a multicultural socioeconomic melting pot! What a victory for the common man!

When I sat down to write this I had intended to pen something semi-serious about the different manifestations of Olympic qualifying and how the countries with multiple athletes might game the system blah blah… I’ll maybe do that another time. I’m feeling a little too loose right now. Like Chas at ten am after a few Babycham & lemonades to wash down his Eggs Florentine.

But I do want to mention Brazil. I love the Brazilian Storm. I love their fire and their chanting and their flag waving and their cosmetic surgery addiction. Don’t they make the Tour more colourful in an entirely non accidentally-racist-like-my-dad sort of way?

However, there’s a problem. The Brazilian Storm is so named because there’s lots of them, right? But not at the Olympics. At the Olympics there can only be two. And that means the Brazilian Olympic people are going to face some tough selection choices.

Do they take the one whose dad’s the best whistler? (Filipe) Do they take the one who’s the cutest? (Italo) Do they take the one who’s dad’s the pushiest? (Gabriel) Or do they take one whose dad we don’t know anything about and maybe he just sits and home and doesn’t care about the WSL or maybe he’s dead? (Adriano).

Or do they, just to fuck with everyone and take Jadson?

Who’s to say! But it’s exciting.

What I suggest is a kind of Hunger Games type thing. The entire Brazilian Storm are dumped on an island. They’re allowed to take two items of their choice. Final two alive qualify for the Olympics.

Who’s qualifying in that scenario?

I think Italo’s out. I think he’d forget entirely about food and shelter and survival. He’d take two Timmy Paterson’s, a 5’9” and a 5’10”, and be picked off getting out of the water within a day.

Adriano’s gone, too. He took two sentimental items, the nose of a $7 surfboard and a soiled handkerchief, and just sat under a tree and cried and cried and cried.

My bet, I think, would be on Willian Cardoso. I think his chosen items would be some salt and some pepper. And I think it entirely possible that he would have eaten everyone in the space of a few hours. Gabriel, of course, would be second. Not because he’d be especially difficult to kill or catch, but just because he’d taste the best. Right? Smooth like silk. If he’s lucky the game will end and they’ll be rescued before Willian has digested Italo and gets hungry again.

If you had to, absolutely doublefuckingdareyou HAD to…which current CTer would you eat?

But surfing at the Olympics! What about surfing?

Will it fly like a spirited little bird? Will it soar across countries, across continents, and spread the joy of surfing to little boys and girls in all corners of the globe?

Or will people look at Julian Wilson, with dubious (but lustful) eyes, as he wiggles back and forth in two-foot beach break slop, and think: This.This is Surfing?

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