And more!
Poor Kelly Slater. I mean, not actually poor Kelly Slater… the 11x World Champion and many times “World’s Greatest Surfer” no doubt has lots of money… but poor as in unfortunate. Oh, not that either, damn it. No one in six-thousand years of human history has ever lived as gilded a life with heaping spoonfuls of good looks, famous girlfriends and ridiculous talent.
No… poor doesn’t belong anywhere near Kelly Slater but it would be a bummer answering retirement questions every day, getting henpecked by bastard surf journalists and Instagram friends.
Oh not me. I think Kelly Slater must keep surfing until he has snags 11x 22nd place finishes in a row. I think he should do it for the everyman. For The People™ but many disagree and think he should hang it up.
Well, Tiger Woods just proved them all wrong. Kelly was asked by Nine News in Australia, ahead of the upcoming Bells competition, if he would draw inspiration from Tiger’s recent Master’s win. Let’s tilt our ear and listen in. Let’s take notes too.
“It’s big and I think I forget it sometimes,” Slater said.
“That’s why the timing was so good, for me to see Tiger do that this week.
“I have people telling me every single day ‘it’s time for you to retire’ … it’s funny, because that’s what people think about themselves deep down inside.”
Slater is coming off a round two elimination on the Gold Coast in the opening round of the World Surf League, so Woods’ example is also timely.
“That guy probably has more pressure on him from more angles than maybe any athlete has had, ever,” Slater said.
“He’s probably also the most hated guy by women of all time, because it (Woods’ marriage breakup) was so public.
“He’s a guy who’s in a rare position in life, that not many people understand, and there’s no blueprint for him.
“There are a lot of guys who are more talented than Tiger nowadays … he just took his experience and he was calm and worked through it and just trusted himself.
“I’m going to draw a lot of inspiration from that this week, for sure.”
Will Kelly Slater wear the aboriginal face paint like Tiger did the green jacket?
No. He won’t. Go 22nd! For us! For The People™!
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Kelly doesn’t need to retire, he still rips, his surfings still more enjoyable to watch than 2/3rd’s of tour. People constantly criticize him because that’s the only arena they’ll ever feel superior, confidently belching their opinion about what he should or shouldn’t do. The “Slater should retire soon” narratives already annoyingly old. Let him surf and when HE decides to retire throw him a party. Beyond that who cares.
It seems like WCT surfers are constantly chasing the perfect board. Every contest, we see clips of pre-contest free surfs that always say something to the effect that they’re “testing” out boards. I’ve never understood that when they’re on the WCT. On the QS I get it. It’s like a pro golfer showing up at each tournament with different set of clubs in their bag. How can a pro athlete focus on themselves when they’re constantly trying to find some answer from their equipment? Kelly should have this shit dialed by now. But he’s chosen to fiddle fuck with boards at a point in his career when the “clubs” in his bag should be the last thing he’s still deciding upon before a contest. Maybe someone can explain why this is so. Is it the shapers? The pro? What are they chasing? Perfection?
you’re*
Sensitive, new age guy? Or just another caring, understanding, nurturing type.
It probably wasn’t Mel but don’t stop telling the story that way.
I am rather fond of the name brand tomato ketchup with my snags these days rather than just any old tomato sauce. Maybe grab a bottle of that if you are going top shelf snags for your barbie with Kelly.
Haha – Jackass!!!.. that guy is pretty awesome really brought something to that movie and the story arc of the main protagonist.
You are right. That’s why I dodge books and focus my reading here.
Sorry bout that
Sydney is the 2nd queerest world city.
So proud of the pride.
Take youre homophobia elsewhere ya twink.
Meh, just some people doing something…
Sounds romantic
I hope you get Backdoor action.
Aussies are good at Backdoor!
We also call snags, bangers..
Its all very homoerotic,
Up down unda
You should buy him some snags.
Gourmet ones of course.
Like Chloe anDino.
In the morning
I wish he was my uncle in law
Comental
Such a good acronym!! Who are the worst FECALs? From my (luckily) few years in Malibu I recall:
-Mike Diamond
-That guy from NYPD Blue
-Johnny Depp
-Everyone at Little Dume
I think Chas is too busy fending off MF’s pestering.
Muther fukin
Mick Febs
M’eugene Fanny
Ah
The anti israelite
Mmmm
We’re goin’ to the zoo, zoo, zoo
How about you, you, you
You can come too, too, too
We’re goin’ to the zoo, zoo, zoo
See all the monkeys they’re scritch-scritch scratchin’
Jumpin’ around and scritch-scritch scratchin’
Hangin’ by the long-tail (huff huff huff)
And we can stay all day
(Am I doing it right?)
This you Don Jr.?