Which do you feel is the pièce de résistance?
I apologize for the lack of content yesterday. I am very near the end of first rough draft of next book and plowing through from sun up to sun down. Derek Rielly, I assume, is being shuttled from interview to interview talking about the subject of his last book Wednesdays with Bob, Australian PM Mr. Bob Hawke, who shuffled off this mortal coil at the wonderful age of 89.
Today will be better, but if it isn’t you can always dive headfirst into the world’s newest literary genre “My First Surf Ranch.”
Now, for a “subject” to officially become a “genre” there must be at least 6500 defining works detailing its various aspects and today’s story What Happened When I Tried to Surf an Artificial Mega Wave by Dan Fitzpatrick in the Wall Street Journal kicks “My First Surf Ranch” over the line.
Shall we read its opening stanza?
LEMOORE, Calif.—The fantasy of riding a wave engineered for the world’s best surfers turns to panic when a loudspeaker offers my last warning: “CT2, 30 seconds.”
I’m floating in a lagoon that spans the length of seven football fields, surrounded by cottonwood trees and California farm country. The 30-second alert means it’s too late to stop what happens next. First an 80-ton hydrofoil sled will roll forward with the help of a cable and truck tires, producing the rickety sound made by a roller coaster at the beginning of its climb. Then I have to confront a six-and-a-half-foot-high wall of water—CT2—that is picking up speed as it approaches.
In my fantasy of this moment I paddle my surfboard into position, pop to my feet and ride for an astonishing 50 seconds while the action is captured on film.
It sings no?
And now that “My First Surf Ranch” is an official genre it also must be subjected to very serious literary criticism etc. Classes taught in colleges. Doctoral dissertations written. Etc.
Which, do you feel, is the “My First Surf Ranch” pièce de résistance? Finnegan’s? Carroll’s? Doherty’s? Warshaw’s Ferre’s?
Much to ponder.
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Wow..Bob passed today.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
While I don’t like your absence from this site, I do applaud your work on the first draft – ESPECIALLY if that work is to increase the QUANTITY of your writing over the quality – your last 2 books were too good and too short. Please fix that so I don’t have to put the next one down so soon!!!!
Don’t leave again Chas. I found myself resorting to the inertia for the 2nd time in my life. A video of some guy talking about 24 inch deep compartments in his van so he could fit an inflatable paddle board in there. I’ve been left with severe mental wounds. Like I said, please don’t leave again.
Lemoore. Light of my life. Fire of my loins. My sin. My soul. Le-moor-ray. The tip of the tongue to the tickle of the lip. She was Le, plain Le in the morning, standing 4 foot ten in one of Kelly’s missing socks.
Lolita is soooooo good
maybe not now..but in some years ,the fact that you dislocated your shoulder on your very first time will make you an icon..perhaps a god for all of us.
pd.I´ve had to fill ten motherfucking Capchats to log in with Discuss..you better like my comment Chas !!!
Like it? I love it!
“ Any boss that sacks a worker for not turning up is a bum.” said Bob after the boat with a strange winged keel wrestled the America’s Cup from the clutches of the NY Yacht Club . Congratulations Derek for catching and writing the ultimate buzzer beater . I shed tears for Whitlam and hope Bob’s departure brings you tears of joy (and a little sadness ) ? IT’S TIME …
I watched every day of that one after school, fucking with the antennas to get good reception.. with the helicopter camera following the race in Newport.. then when in Montana of all places, my bud had a huge fucking satellite in his yard.. so funny looking back, and we watched the one in San Diego where Dennis Conner beat the girls at the goal line cause the wind fucked the chicks boat, only to ask them to use their boat in the finals where the black stallion or what ever the NZ boat was called smoked him good (NZ right? 1994?).. them days was when the surfing, I mean sailing was fun.. not so much today
I was at the RPYC that night and saw Bob in his silly jacket.
The last leg of race 5 was the greatest Australian sporting achievement ever?
Oh man that’s epic. I met the bro who designed that boat’s hull!
Ben Lexcen?
Do you remember there was a winged fin design as an off shoot of his famous [in Australia] keel? https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
What a creative mindset Cheyne and Lexcen.
isn’t curren doing stuff like that now? ha (u need minds that are free to come up with the good stuff
does that make us a genre?
Thank fuck you’re back, Chas! One article about a fictional session’s happenings, in something less than your capable hands, is not good for one day at BG. Writing “My First Surf Ranch” articles is the surf writer equivalent of those bullshit “Why I Write” essays you had to write in 11th grade English.
“My First Surf Ranch”
by Edgar Allan Poe
In spring of youth it was my lot
To haunt of the wide world a spot
The which I could not love the less-
So lovely was the loneliness
Of a mock lake, with concrete bound,
And the tall palms that towered around.
But when the Night had thrown her pall
Upon that spot, as upon all,
And the mystic wind went by
Murmuring in melody-
Then- ah then I would awake
To the terror of the lone lake.
Yet that terror was not fright,
But a tremulous delight-
A feeling not the jewelled mine
Could teach or bribe me to define-
Nor Love- although the Love were thine.
Death was in that poisonous wave,
And in its gulf a fitting grave
For him who thence could solace bring
To his lone imagining-
Whose solitary soul could make
An Eden of that dim lake.
Only a KVF x Poe collaboration could bring credibility to the “My First Surf Ranch” genre. Outstanding.
What’s your WSJ login info so we can read the article?
What’s yours? I’m still waiting to read it too!
Search for the article via twitter and then open the link from there. Works!
Are there subgenres to this genre? Failed pools (Occy’s plunger; Wales;), and its own subgenre of failed permit applications; culinary exposes (think a Baby Ruth floating through the lineup); haikus and wavepools; democratization of surf; ecofootprint of wavepools; and of course cocaine and wavepools (“Buy here, here, and here!”).
Btw, I had the privilege of hearing Steve Pezman speak at a conference recently and when asked his thoughts on wavepools he said “That’s a form of waveriding, but not surfing.” Preach.
surely the only failed pool that matters is Webbers. the lack of chatter around it is a sign of the level of secrecy regarding its capabilities. the word on the concrete beach is he can change it from 10ft sunset style right to a g-land left with the flick of his finger. there is a slight chance I am wrong. I am known to be overly optimistic at times.
“he can change it from 10ft sunset style right to a g-land left with the flick of his finger. ”.
I had a girlfriend like that once.
benchong?
Nah, nothing so exciting.
But she was pretty wild after a couple of pints.
still waiting to hear Rick Canes before I make a decision.