Weep with me.
We here at BeachGrit promise to be anti-depressive. Strive to be each and every day. To lift your spirits from the murky mire. To free your soul from bondage but some stories are simply heartbreaking yet must be reported.
This is one of them.
For thousands of Fat Innkeeper Worms, also inexplicably called “Penis Fish,” have washed up, unloved and unsatisfied, on a Northern California beach usually famous for Great White sharks dismembering surfers and let us turn to Aunty for more but not before grabbing a box of tissue with which to dry our eyes.
It may just be the most bizarre thing seen all week.
Thousands of pulsating penis-shaped fish have mysteriously washed up on a California shoreline following a series of winter storms.
The underwater creatures are fat innkeeper worms, or Urechis caupo. Although the worms are technically neither penises nor fish, they are widely referred to as a “penis fish.”
In a jarring photo posted to Instagram, thousands of the pink 10-inch marine worms are seen covering the shore of Drakes Beach in northern California, about 30 miles northwest of San Francisco.
Well, one man’s “most bizarre thing” is another man’s deep, profound tragedy.
Will you weep with me?
Mourn, quietly, the unfulfilled fate of the mighty Penis Fish?
Great White shark.
The End.
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Saw this on the news yesterday. I knew it would make it over to BG shortly after. Haha, was ever a story more on brand for BG??
is this the start of the VAL 3rd wave feminist uprising?
They always say it’s 10 inches
I always measure from the bottom. Better results.
Only in California
No different than any other surf break: lots of dicks on the beach.
Pulsating.
Similar to the black penis fish..only smaller.
Gosh Chas. I broke this in the comments yesterday, with a link to article.
No love?
Damn it. I didn’t see/don’t remember seeing!
Never mind.
My humorous prose not good enough for Derek.
My stories (stolen from news sites) re-stolen by you.
Oh lawdy, help me.
(Puts back of hand to forehead in anguished manner)
just be happy you aren’t surrounded thousands of writhing, pink 10 inch penis’.
like surfing peahi, a dream for some, nightmare for others.
If this phenomenon was a regular occurrence, I could see the old Jackass crew making merry in the throng o’dicks.
Oy Channelbum, you have had your prose published here in Beachgrit before. Was good. I remember reading it. Maybe this latest submission just didn’t make the cut or needed more editing than Dez had time for. He might have been busy negotiating the demands of a swinging throuple with Ellie Jean Coffey? In which case I wouldn’t blame him. And Chas can be a tough nut to crack. But yer a good cunt, Channel. Maybe just cut back a bit on listening to so much Morrissey?
I’ve got other fish to fry.
Am not really worried.
Thanks.
I don’t think I even own a Smiths album.
I’m picturing crates full of Eurythmics. Tourists early on. Then moved to Australia and formed the Eurythmics in Wagga Wagga. https://youtu.be/Wram5rPEQbQ
I don’t know about Penis Fish but I’m pretty much over pop up Chevy Silverado ads.
I am more over chas and rob machado than I used to be
Drakes locals can save them by giving them mouth to mouth resuscitation.
Next time Joel Tudor
Wants someone to eat a dick
They know where to go
A month ago Drake got booed offstage in LA when he showed up as the surprise guest at DaBaby’s concert. Fans had expected Frank Ocean.
Nothing like beef in the rap game.
Now, a bunch of beef franks wash up at Drakes Beach.
Mother Naughty by Nature O.P.P. gets in on the diss.
The universe works in mysterious ways.
Glad you were able to shoehorn in a Great White mention. I’d be worried if you didn’t
Inexplicably?
You’ve obviously never
Seen a real life cock!
Somewhere on that beach Julian Wilson likes camouflaged amongst the thousands of other tragedies.
If only there was some surfing to discuss..
Diss n’ cuss will carry you through while you wait.
Finally, not the story we wanted, but the story we need.
We can only hope that these are a delicacy for GWSs.